Formless Chapter 6

Gangwoo, whose posture had briefly faltered, gave a small chuckle and lightly pressed his lips to his temple, where his hair was a sweaty, tangled mess.

“Hnngh…ugh, ugh…”

Heewoon let out a sound that was indistinguishable from a scream or a moan and squeezed his eyes shut. His body was being shaken up and down relentlessly as the thick penis moved in and out of him. The pain was gradually fading, but the suffocating pressure remained. He closed his eyes, listening to the rough moans in his ear, wishing only for it to end quickly.

Seo Gangwoo would put his ear in his mouth and mumble, or bite his cheek. Each time, Heewoon tightened his grip on the man’s sturdy nape to keep from moving.

“Ugh, aah…haah…”

Finally, the movement stopped. Heewoon was relieved. He didn’t know what would become of his life, but just having the large thing that had been churning his insides pulled out brought a sense of relief.

But when Seo Gangwoo threw the condom on the floor and aligned his penis with the hole again, despair washed over him, and his vision went black.

🧸

Heewoon moved only his eyes. Blue dawn light was seeping in through a small window near the ceiling. Zzzzip, the sound of a zipper being pulled up was heard.

“Are you sleeping?”

Seo Gangwoo, now dressed, lightly patted Heewoon’s buttocks. The semen smeared on his skin made a squelching sound. A brown stain came into view. Even though he had been rolling and crawling all over it, Heewoon belatedly squirmed to avoid the stain.

“Can’t you get up?”

Gangwoo said, as if it were a pity, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. The white body was limp, covered in bite marks, bruises, and red welts.

“I don’t think you’re sleeping, so why aren’t you saying anything?”

“…Cough— I can’t get up…”

Heewoon said, his voice hoarse, almost a whisper.

“Ah. Then do you want to sleep a bit before you go? I have something in the morning, so I have to leave now.”

Seo Gangwoo’s tone was remarkably casual. So much so that it made him wonder if everything that had happened from last night until this morning was a dream.

“I’ll… I’ll go in a, in a little while.”

“Okay.”

Tap, tap. The sound of footsteps grew a little distant. It’s really over now. Just as Heewoon was thinking this, the fading footsteps grew louder again. Seo Gangwoo was approaching him again.

Heewoon’s hand, resting on the mattress, tensed.

He’s going to kill me now. He’s coming to make a pool of blood like the one over there, to stab me in the neck.

Heewoon crawled forward to get away from Gangwoo. His whole body didn’t feel like his own, so even that was just a tiny movement.

“What are you doing?”

Gangwoo narrowed his brow and pulled his slender ankle down. Swoosh, the sound of skin sliding against the mattress was heard. Heewoon was about to scream when a low, cracked voice came from behind.

“Sunbae.”

“Yes.”

Though he was trembling, Heewoon answered immediately. If his answer was late or he failed to hold the proper position, a beating would follow instantly. That was why Heewoon’s thighs and buttocks were covered in bruises.

Looking at Heewoon, who was trembling slightly while lying face down, Gangwoo’s lips twisted. The hand gripping the ankle that fit so easily in one palm traveled up the calf and reached the bruised thigh. Gangwoo squeezed hard just below the buttock.

“Ahk…”

Even as Heewoon trembled in pain, Gangwoo kneaded his inner thigh forcefully. Heewoon bit his lip and held back a scream. A languid voice was heard.

“I’m talking from over here, so why are you looking that way?”

“Nngh… sorry.”

Heewoon fidgeted, trying to turn around. But his wrists, propped on the mattress, only trembled, unable to exert any real strength.

“Sunbae.”

Seo Gangwoo called out as if to urge him on, patting his bruised buttocks.

“Ahk… I, I don’t have any strength…”

“Ah. Was that it? You should have said so sooner. I was feeling hurt, thinking you were ignoring me.”

The voice, feigning ignorance while knowing everything, was horrifying. As Heewoon took shaky breaths, Gangwoo grabbed his arms and pulled him into a sitting position.

“Nngh…”

A moan escaped him as his bruised buttocks were pressed down and the area between them stung.

“Does it hurt?”

“Yes.”

Leaning over, Gangwoo lifted Heewoon’s chin.

“Mm, you’re bruised here too.”

Gangwoo stroked the purplish cheek. His breath trembled as he tried to endure his fear. Ah, sunbae must be cold. Gangwoo muttered, caressing the nape of Heewoon’s neck. It felt just like he was gauging where to stab the knife.

“I-it’s okay…”

As the words came out, his jaw trembled so much that Heewoon bit his tongue. Hm? Gangwoo tilted his head as if he hadn’t heard. Heewoon bit his lip hard and shook his head.

“I came back because there was something I forgot to tell you.”

Heewoon nodded. He felt that if he opened his mouth, a scream would burst out. Then the large hand stroking his cheek and neck might immediately pull out a knife.

“About yesterday…”

Seo Gangwoo stabbing a knife into the neck of a kneeling man, blood splattering in the air, a mangled finger, a pool of blood. ‘Yesterday’ brought back a flood of horrific images.

Staring into Heewoon’s eyes, which were dying and turning black with fear, Gangwoo whispered.

“It’s a secret.”

Heewoon held his breath. The murderer before him smiled playfully.

“If you don’t keep the secret, I’m going to go around telling everyone that you were stalking me.”

“……”

“Ahaha. It’s a joke.”

He burst out laughing. Heewoon, with an expression that was neither laughing nor crying, held his breath. With a lingering smile, Gangwoo fiddled with Heewoon’s cheek.

“If you run your mouth and bother a bunch of people, hmm… who should I kill first? Right, your hyung would be better. You’re not that close with your hyung, are you.”

What if, what if… I report him? The police would protect my mom and me. My hyung is in the Philippines, so Seo Gangwoo wouldn’t be able to find him.

But… would the police really protect me properly? They ignored my texts so much yesterday.

“But don’t suspect me even if your hyung dies sometime soon. It seems he’s been poking around here and there trying to start a business, and he’s made quite a few enemies.”

“…Huh?”

Heewoon asked blankly.

“Filipinos can be pretty scary if you mess with them the wrong way.”

“H-how did you know?”

“What?”

Gangwoo tilted his head. Your eyes got all wide. He muttered quietly, continuously fiddling with Heewoon’s face.

“That my hyung is in the Philippines.”

“Ah. Is that what you’re surprised about right now? Sunbae, you’re really cute.”

It’s only natural that I’d find out what kind of bastard is following me around.

Heewoon stared dazedly at Gangwoo, who was ruffling his hair. He had no idea he even knew his hyung was in the Philippines. On top of that, he seemed to know things about his hyung that he himself didn’t. What else did he know?

“After your hyung is your mother. Don’t worry, sunbae, you’re last.”

Staring at what must have been his own deathly pale face, Seo Gangwoo smiled affectionately.

It wasn’t a simple threat. The image of his mother and himself collapsing, blood spouting from their necks like a fountain, was all too vivid.

“I’ve been the only one talking for a while now.”

At Gangwoo’s subtle remark, Heewoon said, trembling.

“…I, I’ll never tell.”

Really, r-really. I won’t tell anyone. As Heewoon added a few more words, his eyes welled up with tears again.

“I get it. You’re going to cry again.”

Gangwoo, who had been stroking Heewoon’s hair as if to ruffle it, straightened up and stood.

“Well then, I’ll see you at school on Monday, sunbae.”

Seo Gangwoo, wearing the face of a polite junior, turned and left.

Steady footsteps echoed in the empty factory. Heewoon held his breath, listening to the sound and following the receding steps with his eyes.

“Oh, right.”

The footsteps came to a dead stop. He was near the reddish-brown stain that was clearly visible even from a distance.

“But you can tell people we fucked.”

Standing on the spot where he had killed someone, Seo Gangwoo giggled playfully.

Heewoon stood with his hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath. His exhaled breath was hopelessly shaky. Biting his lip hard, he looked down at his clothes. He had washed off the whitish dust with water in a subway station bathroom. His clothes looked decent enough.

It was a little after 7 in the morning, so his mom might already be awake. Heewoon brushed his bruised cheek with his fingertips and pulled the doorknob.

The small house, with one kitchen and one room, had a small kitchen to the left as you entered the front door, a bathroom straight ahead, and a room to the right.

The house was dark and quiet. Standing in the entryway, Heewoon looked at the translucent sliding door. His mom seemed to be still asleep. He breathed slowly. The lukewarm air was mixed with a familiar scent.

“Heewoon, are you home?”

His mother’s cracked voice, as if she had just woken up, came from inside the room. Something surged up from his chest. Heewoon squeezed his eyes shut and opened his mouth.

“Yeah. I’m gonna wash up.”

His voice, strained from holding back tears, sounded strange even to his own ears, so Heewoon quickly went into the bathroom. Clatter, he heard the sound of the sliding door opening.

“What am I going to do with you, coming in at this hour without any notice.”

“…I, I don’t feel well.”

Heewoon said, closing the bathroom door. His voice, swallowing sobs, sounded similar to when he was suppressing the urge to vomit.

“Were you drinking? Gosh, this kid.”

The sound of her soles sticking to the linoleum floor faded away. The sound of the refrigerator door opening, a clattering sound, the sound of water falling into a cup.

Heewoon, who had been listening to the sounds outside the bathroom door, slid down to the floor.

“Haah—.”

When he lowered his eyes, tears fell down in big drops. His entire body, which had been tensed up trying to act fine, trembled as if it were broken. Heewoon clenched his teeth, afraid a sob might escape.

He had survived. He had survived and returned home.

Heewoon closed his eyes and shed silent tears. His chest ached as if it would burst from crying so quietly.

The events of the past night flooded his mind indiscriminately.

His vision shaking violently, the gloomy factory, the scream, the slimy kiss, the red blood, the eyes of a dying person, how he had frantically begged for his life, how he had desperately sucked that penis.

A sudden wave of nausea surged up. Heewoon crawled painfully to the toilet and threw up. He hadn’t eaten anything, so only stomach acid came out. It looked just like semen.