Tail’s Curse Chapter 48

“Making me repeat myself. Must I really ask again why you’re crying?”

 

“Usually, if there’s no answer, doesn’t it mean they just don’t want to answer?”

 

“My, my.”

 

Noah let out an incredulous laugh, his lips quirking into a smirk as he looked at the face staring up at him with rabbit-like, tear-filled eyes that dared to say such a thing. 

 

His face was handsome, and he was smiling, yet it sent a chill down one’s spine. The neck that had been stretched out retreated turtle-like back into its shell. 

 

As if pricked by the tears burning on her cheeks, Noah’s smile curled up bleakly.

 

“Our Miss Cordelia is quite the expert at pretending to be docile and foolish while getting under people’s skin. I wonder where she learned such manners.”

 

“I am not a child…”

 

“Are you trying to be cheeky with me?”

 

He snorted and shot a glance at the gloomy little thing. She had stopped eating, gotten upset about something, holed up in her room to sniffle alone, and now claimed to be an adult. It was utterly ridiculous.

 

He had clearly been in a good mood. 

 

His smile had faded slowly, and something about her eyes, which looked like she might cry alone, had bothered him enough to make him follow her—and this is what he found. 

 

Taking care of children is difficult. Were Wayne, Agnes, or Fran like this? 

 

But even if they were bothersome, they had never gotten on his nerves enough to make him chase after them like this.

 

As Noah let out a small sigh, the red-eyed rabbit cautiously started checking his mood again. He decided to change tactics. 

 

Scooping up the rabbit, still bundled in the blanket, she flailed in panic.

 

“Why, why! I came out already!”

 

“I’m not going to drop you, so just stay still.”

 

Noah picked her up, rolled up like a silkworm cocoon, and sat down in an armchair. 

 

Bundled tightly in the blankets, Cordelia had only her face peeking out, and she puckered her lips. When he first saw her, she had been like a tightly wound puppy, all limbs tense and alert, but now she had softened so much that he found it amusing and quietly watched her.

 

Cordelia certainly seemed like someone with much to fill in here and there. But it was entertaining because whatever was poured into her showed so quickly.

 

When he tapped the thick cocoon lightly and carelessly, Cordelia stared blankly for a moment before muttering softly.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Calming a child.”

 

At Noah’s brief reply, Cordelia was so dumbfounded that her mouth fell open.

 

“Sir Noah, you’re not that much older than me.”

 

“Not enough for the world to change, but it’s not a small gap either.”

 

By the time you were crawling, I was riding horses and learning swordsmanship. 

 

Under his gaze, which seemed to find her amusing, Cordelia had nothing to say. She pulled her eyes wide and buried her face back into the blankets. She looked just like a white rabbit hiding in its burrow with only its ears sticking out.

 

Now docile, only the soft patting sounds, the slow creaking of the armchair, and their quiet breathing could be heard. 

 

Feeling a bit drowsy, Noah slowly blinked and spoke with a faint smile.

 

“So this is the appeal of raising a child.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“My father used to do this for me when I was in a bad mood.”

 

Cordelia, who had been staying still because she didn’t dislike the hand patting her on the blanket, pricked up her ears. Her eyes, filled with curiosity, were wide. 

 

He gently flicked the tip of her nose without hurting her and looked down at her pouting face with a crooked smile.

 

“Maybe it’s because I have a sharp personality, but unlike Isaac, I caused a lot of trouble. Then, as punishment, my father would wrap me up so I couldn’t move, just like this. I complained that it was frustrating, but I think I actually liked it. It felt good to have all the affection for myself. Plus, I’m naturally a greedy little thing.”

 

She liked the sound of his voice as he talked about the past. It made her feel like she could understand the young Noah’s heart. 

 

Even all-grown-up Cordelia, at that moment, forgot all about the lump in her heart that had been crying so bitterly and grew soft and drowsy. 

 

Blinking her eyes, she murmured.

 

“It seems you really like your father, Lord Noah.”

 

“Yeah. He treats me special, you know.”

 

Cordelia, who had expected lines like ‘my father is my hero’ or ‘I respect him’ or any number of those common phrases, once again found herself staring intently at Noah because of his unusual answer. 

 

He replied shamelessly, “I have no interest in affection that’s poured out on just anyone. I prefer what only I can have. My mother was affectionate and kind, treating all her children fairly, but my father wasn’t like that. He was very partial and narrow-minded. He cared for his wife and children, but unlike my mother, his love wasn’t overflowing, so he would discriminate with his affection. His priority was always my mother. Then, next was me, because I resembled her the most. That stupid Isaac still doesn’t know, but I was quite satisfied with that.”

 

“…”

 

“Whenever my father looked at me more than my older brother, I felt so happy I could fly. So I deliberately chose expressions and actions that would please him. And even though he knew exactly what I was doing, he still favored me. It was like a little game just between the two of us.”

 

Cordelia’s relationship with her mother wasn’t typical either, but this particular father-child relationship also seemed a bit strange in its own way. 

 

It wasn’t normal. 

 

A father who didn’t restrain or worry about the behavior of a greedy youngest son and a child who wanted to monopolize affection, but instead encouraged them even more.

 

She didn’t know if the mutual affection in their relationship was healthy, but since both parties seemed satisfied, she supposed it was right.

 

In truth, Cordelia also thought that love given solely to her would feel more intoxicating than love that was shared equally. 

 

It would be ecstatic, sweet, and thrilling. She understood Noah.

 

I want to be loved like that, too.

 

Thinking that, she inadvertently spoke.

 

“Is it true that Sir Noah takes more after your mother?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“No, it’s nothing. It’s just that you seem to take after your father.”

 

In the father, who was satisfied and fond of the clever second son’s actions to gain love, Cordelia found a similarity unique to them, even if their methods were different. 

 

It was an intersection of subtle attachment, akin to Narcissus falling in love with his own reflection in the pond.

 

At Cordelia’s remark, Noah was silent for a moment before bursting into laughter. He was so busy laughing, covering his mouth, as if he found it incredibly amusing.

 

“Ah, you’re right. Miss Cordelia, you sometimes seem a bit oblivious, but then you occasionally strike right at the unexpected.”

 

I suppose that’s a compliment?

 

“Yes. My father doesn’t really like anyone except himself, reflected in the mirror that is my mother. He acts as if she were Medusa, as if he’d turn to stone and die if he looked at her. I’m the only mirror he has that bears his wife’s face, so he has no choice but to love me. It must be his only form of self-love.”

 

I don’t know what he means, but Noah seems to be in a good mood, so it’s fine. 

 

He had been silently watching Cordelia, chin propped on his hand, his eyes narrowed into slits, when he asked.

 

“So, what part of me did you look at that made you upset, my lady?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I’m asking what you didn’t like about me. Are you Medusa too, Miss Cordelia?”

 

Medusa, the beautiful child born between the sea god and the sea witch, received a terrible curse from a misguided love, becoming a monster with a head of writhing snakes. She sees herself in the mirror brought by the hero and turns to stone, and dies. 

 

As if she couldn’t bear to look back at her terribly transformed self.

 

Trapped by his soft yet sharp amber eyes, Cordelia felt utterly pinned. 

 

It was as if he could see right through her. Her face flushed with shame. He was waiting for an answer. 

 

As always. Though he often acted impatient, telling her not to make him repeat himself, he always ended up waiting patiently for her, who was so slow to collect her thoughts. 

 

This consideration felt overwhelmingly good, almost too much for Cordelia to bear.

 

So her throat felt dry. 

 

Like a castaway who, unable to wait for the rain that hasn’t fallen for a thousand days, drinks seawater, it was never enough, no matter how much she swallowed.

 

“Just…”

 

Cordelia swallowed hard. 

 

Somehow, she felt that the man before her wouldn’t mock or belittle her. Even if he teased and taunted, he had never made her feel degraded.

 

“Just because I’m poor.”

 

“Why? Because you’re a debtor?”

 

She shook her head. Poverty had never truly made her feel awful. 

 

More than that, it was other things that had always made her miserable.

 

“Because I have so little. The things that should be a given are far too scarce for me. It saddens me that what should be normal isn’t normal for me.”

 

Overflowing love and protective parents, family, self-esteem, and respect as an individual—the things necessary for a person to exist as a human being were lacking for her to an excessive degree. 

 

Truly, to an excessive degree.

 

Noah listened silently to that shabby confession. She felt a sense of relief under his motionless, tranquil gaze. 

 

‘I’m glad he doesn’t pity me.’ 

 

Paradoxically, she thought she would hate it even more if such a shabby inner truth earned her his attention and favor. 

 

For someone so poor, her inability to be completely abject was Cordelia’s greatest tragedy.