The Unbelievers Chapter 24

It was a tiny green egg, about the size of a single finger joint. The nest was built so sturdily and well with straw that it looked like a small basket woven by human hands.

Though he wore rain gear, Eunseong’s face was pale from being wet in the rain. His face, illuminated by the faint light, was a smooth ivory color. Yoo Siun tilted his umbrella to shield him from the rain. When the raindrops hitting the hood vanished, Eunseong tilted his head back. He looked straight up at him.

“You’ll catch a cold.”

“I’ve never seen anything like this, so it’s amazing. But I haven’t seen the mother bird even once yet.”

“How can she come when a person is staring like this?”

“…That’s true. But it’s built really strong and well, isn’t it?”

Eunseong reached out his hand as if to touch the nest in wonder. Yoo Siun reflexively grabbed the back of his hand. The flinching hand was cold. He moved Eunseong’s hand away from the crow-tit’s nest and released it immediately.

“She won’t come if you leave a human scent on it.”

“If there’s a human scent… does she abandon the eggs?”

“She might.”

“Actually, I touched them before… I touched the eggs, so what should I do? What if the mother bird doesn’t come because of that?”

“You just shouldn’t touch them from now on.”

“What if they can’t hatch because of me?”

“She can’t come even more if you’re here staring.”

He gestured for the crouching Eunseong to get up, saying they should go inside now. One of his shoulders was getting wet as he tilted the umbrella toward Eunseong.

Entering the house, Eunseong took off the rain gear. His hair and clothes had become wet from the raindrops that hadn’t been fully blocked.

“Go inside and shower with warm water. You’re all wet.”

“If she really doesn’t come because of me… then I killed them all.”

“She’ll come. Just leave it alone. Don’t keep peeking at it.”

If Yoo Siun’s words were true, the mother bird might have abandoned the eggs because of him. It was possible she wasn’t coming because he had touched them, leaving a human scent so she couldn’t find her own nest, or because she believed it was exposed to a threat.

“If they all die because of me, I didn’t mean for that to happen, so what do I do if they all die because I touched them for no reason?”

“…Then why did you touch them?”

“Because I wanted to feel them… because I’ve never seen anything like that, so it was amazing.”

“Don’t touch them from now on. That’s enough.”

“…”

“Just don’t touch them. And don’t stare at them anymore.”

Yoo Siun soothed Eunseong, saying it would be fine then. Eunseong was confused whether he was talking about the crow-tit eggs or someone else. Recalling the warmth that had gripped the back of his hand in the cold rain, his body shivered as if feeling a chill.

“Hurry and wash up. You’re really going to catch a cold.”

He led Eunseong, who was standing vacantly, to his room, telling him to go in and wash up.

∞ ∞ ∞

Yesterday, he had solved the problems because he occasionally saw ones he knew, but today, his mind was hazy and he hadn’t studied properly, so he was ignorant of most of it. Still, he read the questions and guessed the answers that seemed most likely.

Even though he had been slumped over the whole time during the remaining hours, Eunseong dozed off repeatedly in the car on the way home. Manager Nam, finding the incoherent Eunseong strange, asked if his condition was not good.

“I got hit by the rain a bit yesterday… and I stayed up late studying. I guess that’s why.”

His whole body was listless and his fever rose until he felt warm, as if suffering from a light case of body aches. He had showered with warm water immediately, but just as Yoo Siun said, it seemed he had caught a cold.

“It seems you have a cold coming on.”

“I feel a bit cold, too…”

It wasn’t a lie; Eunseong felt a chill. He shuddered while rubbing both his shoulders.

Arriving home, Eunseong ate warm porridge and took the cold medicine Manager Nam provided.

Lacking the energy to study, he collapsed onto the bed.

Though he was sleepy, he couldn’t fall asleep right away, so Eunseong fiddled with his cell phone while tossing and turning.

Eunseong had never contacted Yoo Siun directly. All contact was made through Manager Nam. It wasn’t that he was ordered to do so, but because he was told Manager Nam would readily pass things along, it became the natural procedure to speak to Manager Nam if he had something to say.

And since he could speak to him in the morning if there was business, he hadn’t seriously thought about contacting him until now.

“…”

Eunseong hesitated for a long time with the message box open on his phone. Perhaps because his body was sick, his heart kept growing weak.

He shouldn’t trust anyone, and especially not his fifth cousin who gave him no explanations, but he had grown increasingly accustomed to the time spent drinking milk along with the scent of the coffee the man brewed in the morning, and he had come to look forward to the dinners they shared when he was lucky enough to have them as rare as beans sprouting in a drought.

If it felt like a suspicious sound was heard outside at night, Eunseong would rush to Yoo Siun’s room instantly and knock. Even though he knew Eunseong was half-lying, Yoo Siun did not grumble. Even after waking from sleep, he went outside to check the surroundings himself and gave orders to the staff to strengthen security and check the CCTV.

Even though they still hadn’t narrowed the physical distance after about a month, he had become used to living with Yoo Siun, and it became natural to lean on him, as he listened to everything.

Eunseong also accepted his eccentric germ phobia naturally. There were times when he acted more cautiously himself so as not to startle the man, who would freeze in shock if they even came close.

Rather than feeling hurt by the voice that reproached him for touching the crow-tit eggs, it made him feel like he wanted to be scolded more by him. While he was hesitating whether to contact him or not while staring at his phone, a message arrived from Yoo Siun first.

It was a photo of the crow-tit that had visited the nest.

“Oh…?”

Seeing the photo, Eunseong called him immediately. Holding the phone, which felt warm, to his ear, he lay on his side while hugging the bedding. The crisp pillow pressed softly against his cheek.

—Yes.

A low voice that seemed not to know it was Eunseong replied briefly from the other side of the machine.

“Ah, um… Mister, it’s me.”

—I see.

There was no change in his voice. The surroundings were quiet, as if he were alone. His voice sounded even more prominent. It was a short response, but his mid-to-low range voice, with its diluted softness, had an attractive tone that could imprint the man as a special existence through voice alone.

“What is this photo?”

—Did you see it?

“Was this taken today?”

—I took it this morning. Because you seemed worried.

“Did the crow-tit come to the nest this morning?”

—It came this morning, and it probably came last night as well.

Compared to Eunseong’s moved voice, his voice was calm.

“That’s a relief. I was concerned. So the crow-tit didn’t abandon the babies?”

Eunseong let out a sigh of relief. He had worried all night thinking the crow-tit might have abandoned the eggs because of him. He told Manager Nam he couldn’t sleep because of studying, but in fact, he had tossed and turned because he was worried about the crow-tit eggs.

“That’s really a relief.”

Because he had suffered enough to lose sleep all night, he felt relieved enough to bring tears to his eyes. As a trace of crying mixed into Eunseong’s voice, Yoo Siun became quiet on the other side of the phone.

“I thought they all died because of me… I thought I killed them all.”

—Are you sick somewhere?

He, who had been listening quietly, asked.

“Pardon?”

—Your voice… it doesn’t sound good.

“I have a bit of a cold. I took medicine and lay down.”

—Get some rest.

“Mister, when are you getting off work?”

—It might be late, it might not be. What about the medicine? Did you tell the Manager?

“I did. The Manager gave me some medicine.”

Eunseong felt more and more sorrowful as he talked to him about not feeling well. His throat stung acridly. It wasn’t that the man had snapped at him, asking why he was getting sick when he was busy enough to die, nor had he snubbed him by asking what he was supposed to do about it, but as he was asking where it hurt, a sudden surge of sorrow welled up.

He would have been more sick if Yoo Siun hadn’t taken the photo of the crow-tit and sent it. He was someone he shouldn’t trust, but now Eunseong had no one else to trust or lean on except his fifth cousin, and the man was providing the fence of an adult that Eunseong had never experienced in his life.

For Eunseong, who had lived trembling under the anxiety provided by his own flesh and blood, it was an overwhelming emotion. When he thought of the back of the man who must have waited in front of the nest to take and send the photo, that emotion became even more intense.

—I’ll send a doctor.

“What? No. I’m not that sick. That’s a total overreaction. It’s not to that extent. I just have a little fever… my throat hurts a bit, I have no energy, it’s just things like that.”

Startled by the sudden mention of sending a doctor, he waved his hand—though the man couldn’t see it—telling him not to overreact.

Even if it was a father who had intended to leave anyway, after the sudden separation, Eunseong now only had Yoo Siun as a person connected to him on this earth. Even though Yoo Siun was being kind, Eunseong felt sorrowful for no reason. Because he was sick, everything was sorrowful. From the man’s meticulousness in sending the photo, to the voice that asked after him so gently.

—Did you eat something?

“My throat hurts so I couldn’t even eat lunch. I don’t have an appetite. Cough, cough.”

Even though Eunseong had eaten the porridge the helper made, he lied because he wanted to receive more of his sympathy and comfort.

—I’ll ask the lady to make some porridge. Eat that and get some sleep.

“…Yes. But, um.”

Eunseong barely swallowed the thing welling up. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed through his wounded throat, and his brow, where he felt pain, crumpled as well.

“More than that… I think it would be better if you were here, Mister.”