Winter Season Chapter 54

From the moment he parted his lips, his mouth felt as if it were parching. Yihyeon barely steadied his low, cracking voice and spoke.

“…Why is that name coming up.”

It was a name he had consciously avoided and avoided ever since he transferred high schools as if he were running away. As he clenched his fists tightly and cast his eyes down, the grip on his captured hand tightened further.

“Why, is it too much to hear your first love’s crippler say something like this?”

“…It has nothing to do with you.”

“How does it have nothing to do with me.”

Gu Seunghyeok, letting out a laugh that sounded like escaping air, continued as if chewing on his words.

“I’m the one whose life got ruined after getting caught up in some gay bastards’ love spat.”

Thump, thump, thump. The moment he heard the name Lee Chanyang, his heartbeat began to accelerate so much that it felt as if it would reach Seunghyeok, who was gripping his wrist. As he closed his eyes, the intoxication rose dizzily, and black, smudge-like spots began to flicker.

Yihyeon opened his eyes again and blinked slowly. At the sight of Yihyeon’s visibly stiffened face, Seunghyeok grit his teeth hard.

“It seems like the number of men you meet isn’t just one or two; did you break up with Lee Chanyang after sleeping together as much as you could?”

“…”

“Or was he not enough to satisfy your back?”

If the cynical or mocking tone had been a bit stronger, he might have been able to push back firmly, but Seunghyeok’s voice was merely sunken low and sounded devoid of emotion.

The reason he couldn’t say anything despite his lips twitching several times was because even the act of bringing up that name and talking with Gu Seunghyeok was suffocatingly uncomfortable. Yihyeon gripped the glass tightly and barely managed to mutter.

“…It’s none of your business.”

As soon as he finished speaking, a light, mocking snort escaped from the person in front of him. Yihyeon clenched his caught hand into a tight fist.

“Right. Whether you keep seeing Lee Chanyang or sleep around with other bastards is none of my concern.”

Seunghyeok fell silent for a moment, leaving a void between his sentences. Just as he was about to swallow at the sound of a voice that—though it couldn’t be—sounded self-deprecating, a sentence in a dry and cool tone followed.

“But you keep making me pay attention to you.”

“…”

“You’re bothersome. Constantly.”

The inside of his wrist where Seunghyeok’s thumb was touching felt hot, as if burned. His alcohol-filled brain perceived the information entering his ears a beat late. The reason that familiar expression, “bothersome,” sounded strange today was surely because of the atmosphere.

Yihyeon, who had momentarily frozen at Seunghyeok’s words, pulled his wrist out of the forceful grip this time. When the warmth that had been enveloping his arm vanished, an inexplicable sense of emptiness set in, and he quickly pulled down his sleeve.

He wondered if Gu Seunghyeok’s behavior being strange today was because of the alcohol. From digging up a name he had forgotten to grabbing and touching the scar on his wrist. These were actions he wouldn’t have done normally.

He wondered if Seunghyeok was intending to watch what kind of reaction he would show to such unfamiliar behavior, but looking at those calmly sunken eyes, it didn’t seem like it. That made it even harder. To guess the reason why Gu Seunghyeok was acting this way.

“I heard Gu Jinhyeok ask me to go to the party with him.”

So, in the end, what Yihyeon chose was to change the subject. At the sudden appearance of the name Gu Jinhyeok, he felt as if he had been tossed into reality from a suffocating dream. Yihyeon, turning his head while unnecessarily stroking the wrist that had been held until a moment ago, continued.

“I need sleeping pills. Something with a fast-acting effect.”

Seunghyeok did not respond to Yihyeon’s words. He merely stared blankly at Yihyeon while leaning languidly against the sofa. That gaze made his chest feel tight again. Finally unable to endure it, Yihyeon stood up abruptly.

He didn’t get an answer, but he had said everything he needed to, so there was no reason to stay seated any longer. After confirming that about half the alcohol remained in Seunghyeok’s glass, he was turning around to go into his room.

“I thought you two didn’t sleep together.”

“…”

“How are you going to get him to take the medicine?”

At the monotonous voice, Yihyeon’s head turned back again. Seunghyeok was looking down quietly at the spot where Yihyeon had been sitting until just now. The soft orange light cast a broad shadow over his sharply defined face.

He had no intention of listing his planned actions like a report to a drunk person. Just as he was about to choose silence as his answer and turn his head, his eyes met Seunghyeok’s, who had slowly looked up.

“Try it here.”

“What?”

“Consider it practice and try it on me once.”

To dismiss it as mockery, there was no trace of a smile on his face, and to call it drunken rambling, his voice was too clear.

While he was unable to turn his head and remained locked in eye contact, the sound of the clock that had been ticking quietly all along swelled in presence once more.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

The repetitive noise made him feel as if he were being possessed. The intoxication that surged when he stood up abruptly, the heavy atmosphere that seemed to constrict his whole body, and the gaze staring as if to pierce through him all mixed together. Yihyeon, who was about to head to his room, turned around half-impulsively.

Yihyeon, having approached between Seunghyeok’s spread legs, slowly reached out his arm. His long, white hand passed Seunghyeok’s nape and landed on the sofa backrest beside it. Eyes that seemed to lick him tenaciously did not leave Yihyeon’s face. Yihyeon also did not avoid the gaze and slowly lowered his head.

Leaning over the languidly seated Seunghyeok, Yihyeon, in a posture just before embracing him with arms around his neck, stared straight into Seunghyeok’s eyes.

As eyes drew closer to eyes and face closer to face, the surroundings became even quieter. It was a silence so profound that a rustling sound seemed audible every time their eyelashes blinked and met.

Yihyeon stopped his movement, leaving a distance barely enough for three fingers to fit between their lips. His own face was reflected in Seunghyeok’s black pupils, encountered right in front of his nose.

The man showed no sign of surprise or embarrassment, meeting his gaze with a piercing look. Yihyeon, who had cast his black pupils down and then slowly raised them, parted his closed lips.

“I’ll take care of my own business…”

“…”

“So you just do your job.”

A taut tension lingered between the two, who were staring at each other as if in a staring contest. It was Yihyeon who first avoided the eyes and pulled his head back.

Yihyeon took a step back from Seunghyeok and straightened his back as if nothing had happened. And only then did he let out the breath he had unconsciously held.

Even though Yihyeon was looking down from a much higher perspective because he was standing, Seunghyeok’s face remained facing forward. Yihyeon looked down at the silent Seunghyeok and then took a step.

Tick, tock.

The sound of the second hand, which seemed a bit faster than before, echoed in the dark space. Yihyeon walked quickly toward his room, opened the door, and went inside.

Yihyeon, who had locked the handle without realizing it, leaned his back against the door. Bowing his head and looking down at his tightly clenched fist, Yihyeon slowly opened his hand. On his pale palm, the marks where his fingernails had dug in remained clearly.

Yihyeon, who suddenly woke up without the sound of an alarm, frowned at a headache that felt like needles piercing his head. As he slowly lifted his eyelids, the room, still submerged in a vague darkness, came into view.

His stomach felt nauseous because of the alcohol that hadn’t fully cleared. While blaming himself for accepting all the wine Gu Jinhyeok gave him, his thoughts naturally connected to the conversation he had with Gu Seunghyeok at dawn.

Lee Chanyang. Sleeping pills. And the steady, pitch-black eyes he had faced from a distance of less than a span.

Regret rushed in as he recalled in his sober state the things he had done half due to the alcohol and the other half due to defiance. He threw a gaze out the window after rubbing his face with one hand.

A blood-red sun was just rising between the forest of cold buildings. Checking his phone, it was 7:30 AM. Thinking that the sun certainly rises late since it’s winter, just as he was about to set the phone down, a white notification window dropped down from the top bar.

[D-day minus one day.]

The completion ceremony event Gu Jinhyeok mentioned was right tomorrow. It felt as if any remaining sleepiness vanished at once. Yihyeon, letting out a low sigh, sat up.