Chapter 77
While we were pushing back, breathing heavily, several special units were formed. True special units, even including magic soldiers. Lee Hoin was selected, but I wasn’t. Honestly, that was a relief.
If I had been included in an elite squad, that would’ve been absurd. Three teams were formed for each remaining sector except the east. Since that meant pulling out key personnel, they said the core of the operation was a “speed battle,” anticipating that the gates would be overwhelmed in an instant.
‘The main objective is to kill the alpha.’
A completely different approach from before. For a moment, I looked north, where Johanna was standing. She was definitely the one who issued the orders and strategy. But there was no way she had personally handled everything from start to finish.
If Johanna herself had thought of deploying special units, she would’ve done it from the beginning. Someone must have suggested it, and Johanna accepted it. I didn’t know who, though.
‘At the very least, someone who chose to remain in this world.’
I don’t know. Better not get involved. Right now, survival matters more than figuring that out.
I moved mechanically, watching Lee Hoin depart, riding the wind with magic.
Thinking about how magic was distributed and the efficiency Leon always talked about, I sketched out an application in my head. Then I exhaled and applied it to myself.
Thump
Ah.
—
[Oh dear. Seeing how you got pushed backward, it seems if you want forward propulsion, you should face backward and offer your back!]
[To apply “never show your back to a beast” in reverse, what genius! Truly brilliant! This is our narrator!]
—
It seemed like the output engine malfunctioned, and I tumbled backward. At the same time, more than 10 mana was drained. What a damn mess.
The soldiers stared at me in confusion as I suddenly rolled backward on my own.
—
[We present to you: embarrassment!]
—
Even the old man’s sigh rang in my ears.
…
Seriously, did I have to be this untalented?
***
To be honest, the first special unit operation was barely a success. Because of that, the gates were pushed back heavily, and there was even more work to do.
598 dead. 278 missing. 345 injured.
A ridiculously large number. Many of the dead were from the magic division. Some overexerted their mana and went berserk; others unknowingly raised their mana sensitivity too high and were disintegrated.
‘Or they died as part of the special unit.’
Even so, no one talked about that “barely achieved” success. The only ones complaining were people from our world. The people of Hermadion simply patted each other on the shoulders, saying they had worked hard, comforting one another.
Countless people died, including some who held key positions. Yet Hermadion did not stop. As if following an established process, new people stepped into those roles and handled everything.
At this point, that vitality felt almost miraculous.
Hermadion, reduced to ashes, was not sunk in grief. Blacksmiths who had been forging weapons nonstop came out to repair the gates, and those who could move transported the dead or prepared food to distribute.
Johanna was receiving reports while being treated for her injuries. Lee Hoin had been taken to the medical unit due to serious wounds, and I, limping, was heading there alone as well.
While getting my leg treated, I suddenly realized Shin Yerim wasn’t there.
‘No way.’
She’s a medic; she should’ve been in the rear. I lightly grabbed the medic treating me and asked,
“Where is Shin Yerim?”
“Pardon?”
The medic, who had been working quickly, paused and thought for a moment.
“Ah… she probably went to rest for a bit. She didn’t look well, so I told her it was fine. Why do you ask?”
…She’s alive. That was enough to feel relieved, but hearing that last part made me frown briefly before relaxing.
“…I have something to give her. Do you know where she went?”
A red alarm went off in my head. Shin Yerim leaving her post? In a situation like this? No way. The medic hesitated for a moment, then told me the last place they had seen her.
***
Shin Yerim sat there blankly, hugging her knees.
The operation… had failed.
Of course, many of the plans she had come up with hadn’t even been executed or fully implemented. So it wasn’t strange that it failed. Theoretically, she already knew that. If anything, the partial success was the miracle.
But seeing the number of casualties caused by her plan with her own eyes was something else entirely.
‘I shouldn’t have said anything.’
I shouldn’t have. I should’ve just stayed silent.
Leaning against the base of a tree, burying her face in her knees, she sobbed for a long time, gasping for breath. Responsibility and guilt weighed heavily on her chest.
She hadn’t helped. In the end, wasn’t that the truth? If anything, more people had died because of her.
If anything…
“Ugh…”
She didn’t even have the right to cry. The people who died because of her plan would be laid in cold coffins, while she had stayed safely in the rear, giving orders, briefly intoxicated with a sense of superiority.
It was unbelievably foolish. She couldn’t even fight; what right did she have to make plans? To save anyone? To offer opinions?
She should have fought first. She should have known how harsh and brutal the battlefield was. Every part of her plan had been nothing but unrealistic ideals without practical experience.
That truth carved itself painfully into her.
She didn’t know what to do anymore. Everything… everything was overwhelming.
She had killed those who trusted her. With these hands, with careless words, with thoughts spoken lightly.
At that moment, she heard footsteps behind her.
Startled, she shrank further into the tree’s shadow. She didn’t want anyone to see her. She didn’t want anyone to witness this pathetic sight of her crying after ruining everything.
They would be disappointed. Anyone who saw this would be.
“Medic Shin Yerim.”
But the person didn’t leave. They simply called her name.
As if burned, Shin Yerim flinched and curled up even more.
She knew who it was. She knew who had called her. And right now, it was the person she most wanted to avoid.
Please, just go away…
Holding her breath, she stayed still.
“I know you’re there. May I have a moment to talk?”
Her shoulders shook violently.
This… this was… she couldn’t handle it.
She felt as if that conversation would become a sharp blade, dissecting her humanity piece by piece until it killed her completely. She wanted to run. Like always, she wanted to run.
But she couldn’t. If she ran, she would only look even more incompetent and foolish.
Out of habit, she took a deep breath and said,
“…Y-yes.”
A large shadow leaned down beside her.
Johanna’s shadow. The scent of medicine from her body. It all felt like it was condemning Shin Yerim’s incompetence.
“Do you think it was a failure?”
Her shoulders trembled. Yes, it was a failure. That was undeniable. And a massive one at that.
“Every operation can fail. My operations have failed countless times. Even deploying troops is a kind of operation… so I fail every moment.”
Thud. Johanna sat down near the shadow where Shin Yerim hid.
“Do you think many have died?”
She had to answer. She couldn’t stay silent. She couldn’t avoid it after getting people killed.
“…I–I…”
She was about to say something foolish.
But Johanna spoke first.
“Yes. Many have.”
Thump.
Her heart dropped.
This was… a reprimand. Tears streamed down her face again. She should kneel and beg. To everyone. To all those who have lost someone precious.
Why did she always ruin everything?
“I think even one death is too many. That is why I have let far too many lives be lost in vain throughout my life.”
The self-mocking words lashed against Shin Yerim’s back.
“All strategists and commanders are sinners. Any strategist or commander who fails to devise a way to save everyone perfectly is a sinner.”
“…S-sor–I–I didn’t– I sh-shouldn’t have–”
“You are the same as me. Even a single death weighs painfully on you. Isn’t that right?”
She flinched and lifted her head.
Her trembling eyes met Johanna’s.
“Today’s operation had many flaws. It wasn’t even executed as planned from the start, and we attempted an overly simple strategy too hastily. You proposed it, and I altered it as I pleased, creating this result.”
“…Th-that’s not–”
“All strategists and commanders bear the same sin. I am sorry to have bestowed that burden upon you as well. But we must endure it. Because some survived. Because tomorrow, things like this will come again. So–”
Shin Yerim’s eyes shook violently.
Johanna was taking all the blame onto herself, comforting her.
It was a painfully cold comfort. A comfort that felt more like being whipped.
“Endure. Rise from failure. Think of ways to save more people. Instead of crying, stand up and think of even one more solution. If you choose to be a strategist, then you must do so.”
At the same time…
It was an order that pulled Shin Yerim to her feet.
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