How a Loan Shark Survives as an Actor – Chapter 137

Author: Cireng

Chapter 137

“Seulho, over here.”

As soon as I stepped down from the stage after receiving my award, the stylist standing in the corner called me over.

Not knowing why, I walked over to her, and she gently patted the area beside my eyes with a makeup puff.

‘Ah.’

Looks like my makeup had come off.

“Thank you.”

“…Good luck!”

She barely managed to get those words out in response to my casual thanks.

Just looking at her expression, it was obvious she was desperately holding back her emotions.

‘…?’

I’d never seen that look on her before, so I was a little taken aback. Still, we weren’t close enough for me to ask about her personal affairs, so I simply left.

I hurried back to my seat with a small bow, and the actors sitting nearby all stood up at once.

Then they crowded around me and leaned in to whisper,

“I heard your speech.”

‘What’s gotten into everyone?’

I looked at them in confusion before suddenly remembering what I’d done on stage just moments ago.

‘Oh, right. I cried.’

I’d been so focused on acting that I’d completely forgotten.

Every expression and gesture I’d shown during those two minutes had been carefully calculated.

Not a single part of it had been improvised.

I’d practiced it tirelessly for days.

‘As expected, crying really is the most effective move.’

The actors seated at my table were all from different productions.

Until the presenter called my name, they’d only been giving me polite, obligatory applause.

Watching them suddenly approach me so warmly was honestly a little amusing.

‘Looks like it was the right decision.’

These days, saying things like “men and women are different” would naturally get you criticized.

Still, personally, I didn’t think seeing a grown man cry looked particularly good.

But there simply wasn’t any other way to leave as powerful an impression as having Yoo Seulho, the man who was always smiling, break down in tears.

Since I’d already decided to cry, I figured I might as well do it as perfectly as possible.

Thanks to countless nights of practice, my crying acting improved day by day.

‘It has to look genuine.’

Not even the slightest trace of artificiality could show.

I used every technique I knew to create the best possible result, one that no one would suspect was acting.

The simplest and most effective way to make acting feel real is to mix in something genuine.

The emotions I felt after reading Yoo Seulho’s diary, and the words I truly wanted to say to him…

Those were my sincere feelings.

‘Looks like all that practice paid off.’

At the very least, everyone who watched tonight’s broadcast would abandon the prejudices they’d held toward Yoo Seulho.

The public hadn’t disliked him simply because he couldn’t act.

Honestly, there were plenty of actors who couldn’t.

Besides, Yoo Seulho’s face wasn’t exactly common.

People could’ve easily said, “Well… at least he’s nice to look at,” and moved on.

His real problem had been something else.

A lack of desperation.

Korea was a country far more vulnerable to sincerity and desperation than most people realized.

If you lacked talent but worked yourself to the bone, people would forgive you.

But if you lacked talent and looked like you weren’t trying… They’d tear you apart without mercy.

After seeing Yoo Seulho cry, people would inevitably think,

“So… you really did suffer too?”

Regardless of whether his acting had improved over twenty years, they’d at least begin to pity him as a person.

Just looking at how differently the actors around me treated me compared to before was enough to tell me my goal had succeeded.

‘Still… it is strange.’

Why had Yoo Seulho been so terrible at acting?

Even if he truly had no talent, after acting for that many years, he should’ve at least become average.

Even idols-turned-actors, who were criticized endlessly at first, usually ended up acting more naturally than professional actors after several years.

‘Well… I guess he really just didn’t have any talent.’

Since I couldn’t exactly ask him directly, I stopped thinking about it.

No matter what the truth was, making people realize Yoo Seulho hadn’t simply been some thoughtless brat was already a huge achievement.

‘Just revealing that he was scared of going to filming sets is enough.’

What does an elementary school kid know, anyway?

That sentence alone implied that continuing to act hadn’t truly been Yoo Seulho’s own choice.

It indirectly hinted at the circumstances imposed on him by adults, the reason he kept going to filming sets despite being terrified.

Today’s acceptance speech would become a reliable ally in the conflict that might someday come with Yoo Taeho and Lee Seulmyeong.

‘And I successfully separated my image from that trashy villain who beat up his little brother.’

Even after reviewing it piece by piece, I couldn’t find a single flaw in the speech.

Feeling satisfied, I endured the rest of the ceremony.

“And now, we’ll announce the Grand Prize!”

Ugh… this is boring.

Outwardly, I maintained flawless composure.

Inside, though, I was yawning nonstop.

‘What’s the point of any of this?’

Watching industry people gather together, applaud one another, and hand each other trophies suddenly felt meaningless.

Sure, there were probably award ceremonies that truly meant something.

But I didn’t know.

At least to me, this one felt like nothing more than a frog in a well.

People treated plastic trophies as though they were the greatest honor imaginable, acting as if someone had officially acknowledged the value of their entire lives.

I simply couldn’t relate.

‘Maybe it’s because I’m not really an actor.’

While I politely kept applauding, someone I had absolutely no interest in won the Grand Prize.

At long last, the ceremony was over.

‘Finally.’

The thought of being free made me shudder.

Seriously.

If the ceremony starts in the evening, why do we have to wait around from the morning?

It felt like I’d wasted an entire day.

“Hope to see you again.”

Despite my irritation, I didn’t let it show.

I politely greeted everyone around me.

The TV cameras had been turned off, but plenty of people still remained inside the venue.

‘You never know who’s filming.’

Besides the general audience, entertainment reporters were swarming everywhere.

I carefully maintained my expression until the very end.

‘There he is.’

Even in a crowded venue, Choo Seomok stood out fairly easily.

I immediately started walking toward him when I suddenly spotted a familiar face at the far end of the audience seats.

‘Huh?’

Without realizing it, I changed direction.

Who was that?

Why did he look so familiar?

Was he someone I knew back when I was a loan shark?

With every step I took, it felt like someone was scratching at the back of my brain.

I was so focused on recalling who he was that I only realized, upon arriving in front of him, that he was staring back at me with an extremely flustered expression.

‘Ah!’

The moment I saw his surprised face, the memory of that hamburger restaurant suddenly overlapped in my mind.

Right.

He was that guy from a few months ago.

What was his name again…?

“Mr. Noh Hamrak?”

***

“Wow… an actor really is an actor. Right, honey?”

“Mm.”

Noh Hamrak forced an awkward smile at his girlfriend’s comment.

Just a few days ago, she’d suggested they come watch the awards ceremony after managing to get tickets.

For broadcasting station award shows, applications were usually accepted through the station’s website.

Since it was a rare opportunity to see your favorite celebrities up close, the competition was fierce.

Even so, wanting to fulfill the dream of her boyfriend, who had once aspired to become an actor, she’d worked hard to obtain the tickets.

‘You can’t fool my eyes.’

Ever since Our Space aired earlier that year, her boyfriend had changed.

The man who used to do nothing but criticize Yoo Seulho had suddenly become obsessed with rewatching the drama.

‘He likes him this much… wouldn’t seeing Yoo Seulho in person make him even happier?’

Not knowing that her boyfriend had once shared a table with Yoo Seulho over hamburgers, she’d prepared the visit as a surprise gift.

“Yoo Seulho really stands out the most. Even from this far away, his presence is different.”

“Yeah….”

“Ah, but you’re more handsome, of course! You’re the best in my eyes!”

Smiling at her playful reassurance, Noh Hamrak thanked her.

He normally never hid anything from his girlfriend.

Yet somehow, he’d never been able to tell her about the day he’d ended up eating together with Yoo Seulho.

It wasn’t because he’d intended to keep it secret.

It just… Ended up that way.

‘I barely believe it myself. How am I supposed to explain it?’

Even Noh Hamrak had needed a long time to process that memory.

Truthfully, it was difficult to even put into words.

The moment he bragged about it to someone, it felt like the sparkling memory he cherished would somehow disappear.

Even so, he appreciated the effort his girlfriend had gone through for him and decided to focus on the present.

‘He feels like a completely different person.’

The Yoo Seulho crying on stage looked like a different person…

No.

A different species altogether from the one he’d met in the hamburger restaurant.

The strange sense of distance, even the faint disappointment he felt, made him laugh at himself.

‘I guess it’ll remain a special memory that’s mine alone….’

Honestly, that was only natural.

Suppressing the strange emotions inside him, Noh Hamrak stood up to leave.

“If we leave now, we’ll probably get stuck in traffic. Want to stay a little longer?”

“Sure. But let’s stay over in the corner so we’re not blocking the entrance.”

The two of them stood beside the gate separating the audience section from the guest section.

As they absentmindedly watched the celebrities from a closer distance…

‘Huh?’

As if by pure coincidence, his eyes met Yoo Seulho’s from far away.

While Noh Hamrak stood there blankly for a moment, Yoo Seulho strode toward him with his long legs.

Before he knew it, the actor was standing right in front of him.

“Mr. Noh Hamrak?”

He even remembered his name.

“Uh… yes.”

Answering instinctively, Noh Hamrak blinked repeatedly in confusion.

‘Are you kidding me?’

The last time he’d met Yoo Seulho had been months ago.

They’d never seen each other since then.

How could he possibly remember his name?

Noh Hamrak was so shocked that he completely forgot his own name, which wasn’t exactly an easy one to forget.

“It’s been a while. So you really are in the industry after all.”

Yoo Seulho smiled as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

It was such an easygoing smile that it was hard to believe he was the same celebrity who had just shone so brilliantly on stage.

“I remember thinking there was something different about your eyes. Where do you work?”

“Ah… no. I’m just here as an audience member. My girlfriend applied for tickets, so we came together…”

As Noh Hamrak pointed toward his girlfriend beside him, Yoo Seulho smiled and greeted her as well.

She simply stared back with wide eyes, looking as though she couldn’t believe any of this was happening.

“You don’t come to the gym anymore these days? I haven’t seen you once since then.”

“I normally can’t go on weekdays. I’m working.”

“I see. That’s a shame.”

Yoo Seulho smiled brightly.

He told them to get home safely, saying goodbye as though they might meet again someday.

Then he walked away.

Noh Hamrak could hear reporters and nearby people whispering among themselves, but he had no idea what to say.

“Honey… what was that just now?”

“……”

His girlfriend calmly demanded an explanation.

But Noh Hamrak’s mind was blank.

That brief encounter had completely drained him.

“Let’s… let’s just go home first….”

She still had countless questions.

But seeing how utterly deflated he looked, she simply nodded.

There would be plenty of time to interrogate him after they got home.

Just as the two of them were about to leave the hall…

“Excuse me.”

A woman approached them.

She looked to be around Noh Hamrak’s parents’ age.

“Do you happen to go to OO Gym too?”

“…Why do you ask?”

The moment she mentioned the name of his gym, Noh Hamrak instinctively became guarded.

The woman smiled.

“I overheard your conversation with our Seulho just now. All the fans know he goes there. Did you become friends there? How did you do it?”

Her tone sounded perfectly ordinary.

Her clothes were ordinary.

Her smile was ordinary.

But her eyes…

“Honey, let’s just go.”

His girlfriend instinctively sensed something unsettling and grabbed his arm.

Noh Hamrak awkwardly smiled and said they weren’t really close before trying to leave.

“Come on. If you weren’t close, would he really walk all the way over here just to talk to you? Just tell me how you became friends. Do you have Seulho’s contact information too?”

“We’re really not that close. Sorry.”

Noh Hamrak hurried away as though escaping one of those ‘Do you know God?’ street recruiters.

The woman looked disappointed, but she didn’t follow them.

“What was that about?”

The moment they got into the car, his girlfriend locked the doors before asking.

“Was she… a Yoo Seulho fan or something?”

“I think so.”

“What the heck. That was creepy…. Did you see her eyes? She looked completely obsessed.”

His girlfriend shuddered.

“I’ve seen people like that online before, but never in real life.”

“I guess she’s just… a little overly passionate.”

Though Noh Hamrak answered as if it were nothing, it still bothered him.