Foot Worship Chapter 19

I propped my legs up on the table and sank into the sofa. My eyes, stinging from focusing on the screen, closed on their own. I felt out of sorts and wanted to rest. Should I take a nap? But what if I miss a call from Jerome while I’m sleeping? I hummed to myself while pondering such trivial thoughts.

“Must be feeling tickled pink at the thought of playing in those weird panties, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“The guy sending that by express delivery and the guy receiving it and being happy—you two are a match made in heaven.”

Even with Goo Jihoon’s sarcasm, I wasn’t in a bad mood. Just as I was about to tell him to leave, a fleeting image flashed through my head. I remembered a package I’d received a few days ago.

I immediately opened my eyes and sat up straight. Realizing I hadn’t emptied the trash yet, I tore into the living room bin like a madman, digging through it. Goo Jihoon felt the commotion and sat up as well.

“What are you doing?”

“You just wait.”

I finally overturned the trash, found the dildo, and threw it at Goo Jihoon. He recoiled in surprise, dodging it, then leaned under the table to identify the object. He picked it up with two fingers and made a face.

“What is this?”

“Play jokes all you want, but within reason.”

“…What are you talking about? Speak so I can understand.”

“If not you, who else would play a prank like this?”

Goo Jihoon examined the dildo, brows furrowed, then let out a short, hollow laugh. He looked at me as if I were utterly ridiculous.

“So you’re saying this is my dick?”

“…What?”

“My dick is this small? I’ll prove it to you at full mast, so you just wait.”

Huh? That wasn’t the point of the conversation. Goo Jihoon, fuming, unbuckled his pants without hesitation. It was me who ended up gaping in confusion. I had expected Goo Jihoon to make a comical face and tease me. Realizing something had gone wrong with a sequence of events so different from my expectations, I realized my mistake. There were clear marks of play on Goo Jihoon’s thighs and calves, having finally shed his pants. I cleared my throat for no reason and looked away.

“…Are you, for real, not the one?”

“Oh, fuck, forget it, check with your own eyes whether it’s real or not. But if you say it’s bigger than this, I’m seriously going to break your head.”

At that, I quickly dropped my suspicious gaze, picked up the dildo from the floor, and threw it back into the trash. If it wasn’t Goo Jihoon, there was no one else who would play such a prank—who on earth sent this? I tilted my head and slumped back onto the sofa. Meanwhile, Goo Jihoon was gritting his teeth as he pulled out his genitals and gripped them.

“Hey, hey, hey!”

I desperately stopped Goo Jihoon and squeezed my eyes shut. Watching him manhandle his limp genitals in broad daylight was making my already queasy stomach feel even worse.

“What, you asshole?”

“I get it, so stop.”

“Why are you telling me to stop now? You think I’ve got nothing better to do after eating? Sending this kind of shit to you!”

“Stop shrieking. It’s making my head throb.”

“Apologize properly.”

“I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

Only after receiving my apology did Goo Jihoon pull up his pants. My mind was in a turmoil. Knowing my name and home address meant it had to be someone who knew me well. No matter how much I racked my brain, no one came to mind. I briefly wondered if it might be Kwon Raewon, but the dildo was too small and compact. I hadn’t looked closely before, but even at a glance, his looked much larger than that.

“What are you doing out there that shit like that ends up rolling into your house?”

“…I don’t know. I just thought you were playing a prank.”

I let my body go limp and put a cigarette in my mouth. Thinking that what I’d considered a mischievous prank by Goo Jihoon was actually someone’s calculated act made my head ache. The air purifier, sensing the cigarette smoke, turned bright red and whirred loudly.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Is it, by any chance, that ‘Sex-Dom’ guy?”

“…Sex-Dom?”

At the same time, the face of a man crossed my mind. He was a man with a severe case of hoarding disorder who insisted on classic suits. Around this time last year, while complaining about my life, I had looked for a play partner on the SM partner site ‘Ground’ while drunk. Since nearly 80% of these searches fail, I hadn’t expected much that day. But shortly after posting, I received a note.

His ID was [Sex-Dom]; he introduced himself as a Dom who enjoyed play but didn’t want a relationship. Usually, I wouldn’t have even spoken to a Dom who didn’t want a relationship, but that day, strangely enough, I didn’t just exchange notes—I even set up a play date.

After sobering up the next day, I debated canceling, but I hadn’t played in quite a while, so I went to the meeting place as a gamble. As it turned out, we were more compatible than I thought. Sex-Dom seemed to really enjoy the play, too, and proposed we meet as fixed play partners. I was a bit dissatisfied that we wouldn’t be having sex, but his technical proficiency offset that, so we agreed to meet for about three months as play partners.

But the satisfaction didn’t last long. As we continued to meet, I felt that the man’s obsession was becoming unusual. Usually, play partners only communicate before and after sessions. But Sex-Dom, as if we weren’t play partners but in a full-blown D/s relationship, not only tried to control my overall daily life but also attempted constant gaslighting.

Every conflict and fight that happened in daily life was supposedly caused by me, and I was told endlessly that if I just did well, everything would be fine. Every conversation always started with “Because of you.” Listening to him, even things I hadn’t done wrong started to feel like my fault. Sex-Dom tried to cut off all my human relationships, stopped me from doing the sports I loved, and forced unconditional obedience. What he wanted was my perfect isolation.

At that time, Goo Jihoon and Kwon Raewon were staying in the U.S. They had no idea about the situation until I got drunk and confessed, at which point they found out about Sex-Dom. Kwon Raewon argued that I should cut ties immediately, but I was already under Sex-Dom’s mental dominance, so it wasn’t easy.

Then one day, under the guise of play, I was beaten indiscriminately. When I came to, I was in the hospital with a three-week diagnosis. Only then did I realize how deeply wrong the relationship was. When I decided to end things and brought it up, he used a gentle tone to win me back. In the end, even after making up my mind, I couldn’t end the relationship and was dragged along.

In the end, I had no choice but to unilaterally inform him it was over, withdraw from Ground, and change my phone number. Just like that, he was forgotten in my memory.

“No way.”

“Have you ever seen his dick?”

“…No.”

He never once took off his clothes in front of me. He didn’t even want something as common as fellatio. He was just a man who enjoyed playing with my body at his whim and felt sexual satisfaction watching me get aroused.

“It seems possible.”

“…It’s already been a year, could it really be him?”

“Who knows. I’ll look into it for you.”

I don’t know why time is dragging so slowly this week. It feels like it’s been ages since the week started, yet it’s still Thursday. The fact that there’s still another day left to meet Jerome is annoying. Since time was passing peacefully without any major events, it felt even more boring. I was in charge of managing Foot Worship this week, but strangely, there were few sign-up applications and it was peaceful with no particular trouble.

Being tired of killing time idling at home, I spent my days at the gym like a resident ghost, focusing on exercise. Still, I kept my phone within reach and checked it from time to time. I was waiting breathlessly for word from Jerome. However, Jerome seemed busy with work, only receiving reports on my meals or travel, with no other contact.

I wiped my sweat-soaked face with my hand, leaned against the wall, and fiddled with my phone. I wish I could close my eyes and have it be tomorrow. I accidentally checked my call history, found Jerome’s name, and remembered our conversation from last night.

―Have you thought about a safe word?

“…No, not yet.”

―Try thinking of a word that can shift the atmosphere in an instant.