Paper Friendship Chapter 4

“Stop laughing. Did you buy a train ticket? I haven’t bought mine yet.”

“Yeah, I bought yours too.”

I was a little surprised by his unexpected words. Usually, when one of us pays, the other pays the next time. But since he’d even treated me to a meal today, I felt I should at least send him the money. It was when I took out my phone to make a bank transfer.

“Lee Juun, if things work out with Joo Sunhye, you better treat me big time, alright?”

Choi Juoon said without even looking at me. Hmm, if things work out. I nodded and put my phone away. We sat on the chairs since there was still time before our train. I watched the sky visible beyond the window and chattered on about meaningless things to Choi Juoon. Choi Juoon was resting his chin in one hand and using his phone. When Choi Juoon didn’t react at all, I turned on my screen to use my phone too.

Unknown 

Hi 

9:02

It was a message from Joo Sunhye. I let out a yelp. Perhaps my shout was too loud, as Choi Juoon frowned deeply.

∞ ∞ ∞

Two weeks have passed since I started chatting with Joo Sunhye.

I have so much to say about these past two weeks. First off, when I text Choi Juoon or the other guys, I don’t care about spelling and just send short, one-word replies, but I don’t know if this is because of the romance or if it’s just like this whenever I text someone of the opposite sex…. I was always mindful of my spelling and tried my best not to look frivolous.

For those two weeks, I was in a state of extreme excitement and never let go of my phone for a single moment. Choi Juoon and I don’t do night self-study or supplementary classes, so we walk home together, and I talked about Joo Sunhye every day.

It was my first time texting a girl like this, and I had never been in a relationship. So, I really asked Choi Juoon about everything from A to Z. Sometimes Choi Juoon would listen silently, and sometimes he would offer advice. I wondered if Joo Sunhye was talking to Choi Juoon like I was; we heard news of each other through Choi Juoon.

One time, Joo Sunhye sent me a selfie with her hair done up like a flight attendant, along with the message, “It’s hardㅜ.” She was so incredibly pretty that I stared at the photo for a long time.

I immediately went to Choi Juoon, asking how I should reply and praising her, saying how incredibly pretty Joo Sunhye was. But perhaps I was being too annoying, because Choi Juoon looked at me with an irritated face, told me not to make it so obvious that it was my first time dating, and then just left. Park Yoonchul and I watched him go and said almost at the same time:

“What’s up with him?”

But I didn’t pay much attention to it, and as advised by Park Yoonchul next to me, I sent her a selfie of myself with the message, “Future flight attendant, fighting!” After a long wait, I finally got a reply from Joo Sunhye.

Joo Sunhye 

Lol 

You’re cute 

07:02

The world is beautiful…. I felt like I was going to go crazy because I liked Joo Sunhye so much. Even though we messaged so often, we had never greeted each other or had a conversation in person. Even if we ran into each other by chance in the cafeteria or at school, Choi Juoon or other kids were always crowding around Joo Sunhye, so it was awkward to say hello.

I gathered the courage to say hello just once, but Choi Juoon was standing right beside her, arms crossed, staring at me with a blank expression. He wasn’t even angry, just expressionless, but for some reason, the look felt so strange that I couldn’t say hello and had to just walk past.

Choi Juoon 

Come out 

9:47

While I was studying at the study room, I got a message from Choi Juoon. I felt a bit bothered, but I ended up getting up. It was because whenever I met Choi Juoon these days, he would tell me a lot about Joo Sunhye.

The moment I opened the door to the study room, Choi Juoon called me. I didn’t answer and took the elevator. When I stepped outside the building, Choi Juoon was crouching against a wall, smoking. He looked up, watching me approach.

“Are you a total loser?”

There was a slight hint of laughter in his voice. I had a hunch that Choi Juoon had seen my selfie. Obviously, Joo Sunhye must have shown it to him. I didn’t feel offended.

“Why, did you see the picture? Am I handsome?”

“You crazy bastard. What is ‘Future flight attendant, fighting’? Are you going to say that to me too?”

“Why the hell would I say that to you….”

I scratched the back of my head. Choi Juoon stood up, threw the cigarette he was smoking on the ground, and crushed it with his foot. Then, showing me the fresh selfie I had sent to Joo Sunhye on his own phone, he said:

“Yeah? What is this? It’s seriously disgusting….”

Honestly, it was embarrassing, but I didn’t show it. It felt shameful seeing my own photo from a third-party perspective. It was just a photo of me awkwardly smiling and making a V-sign, so I don’t know why it was so embarrassing. I send photos like that to my guy friends occasionally, too. Still, it was fortunate I hadn’t winked. I naturally changed the subject and said:

“Hey, stop smoking so much. The Mister who runs this study room said he’ll expel anyone caught smoking from now on. He says there are too many complaints. There’s a notice posted upstairs, you know.”

“You guys not meeting?”

“Huh?”

“You talk like you’re dating on KakaoTalk, so why aren’t you meeting in person?”

Choi Juoon said, almost mockingly. I didn’t really have anything to say. I thought about it for a second and muttered:

“…Is it okay to ask to meet?”

At my words, Choi Juoon stopped smiling, leaned his head against the wall, and said in a low voice:

“Aren’t you a senior in high school? Every day you only talk to me about Joo Sunhye, and Joo Sunhye only talks to me about you. What am I supposed to do when you’re both like this to me? Shouldn’t you two resolve things between yourselves?”

“….”

Choi Juoon seemed very pissed off, so I was terrified. Maybe it was because we were in a dark place, but Choi Juoon’s gaze was scary. For a brief moment, I thought about how I would eagerly talk to him about Joo Sunhye while he was trying to study. I bit my lip quietly, waiting for the right moment to apologize. Then, looking only at the ground without a word, I glanced up at Choi Juoon. He had that same expression as before.

“…Sorry.”

I barely managed to say it. Then I hung my head again and just fiddled with my hands. Choi Juoon’s gaze was stinging. Choi Juoon reached into his pocket to take out his cigarette pack, as if he wanted to light another one. But maybe that last one was the end, because he clicked his tongue, saying, “Fuck.”

“Lee Juun, I told you before. Don’t make it obvious that it’s your first time dating.”

“….”

“Do you like her that much?”

After saying that, he shoved the empty cigarette pack into my hand. His voice was laced with annoyance. Then he bumped my shoulder and walked away. I thought to myself:

I do, of course….

But if I had actually said that out loud, this place probably would have turned into a UFC ring. Because I had completely pushed Choi Juoon’s buttons.

Picking up the cigarette butts where Choi Juoon had been standing, I thought:

It felt unfair that he was lecturing me while smoking like that when he’s just a student himself, but as Choi Juoon said, we’re seniors in high school, and it seemed I had been too annoying for him to study.

And I thought about myself, how I hadn’t been able to focus 100 percent on my studies from the moment I started messaging Joo Sunhye. I let out a big sigh. Although, I didn’t study that much to begin with. Still, I’m a senior in high school. How am I supposed to balance dating and studying?

Thinking about this and that, I picked up all the butts discarded nearby. Looking at the amount of cigarette butts, I understood why the study room Mister had drawn his sword. Could it be that Choi Juoon smoked all of these? I threw the cigarette butts in the trash can and messaged Choi Juoon.

Where are you? 

10:21

I genuinely intended to apologize. While washing my hands in the restroom before going back up to the study room, I wondered where Choi Juoon might have gone. A bowling alley? A pool hall? A karaoke room?

After washing my hands, I checked my phone, but there was only a reply from Joo Sunhye. Even while messaging Joo Sunhye, I didn’t hear back from Choi Juoon. While studying until the study room closed, I secretly waited for Choi Juoon. But Choi Juoon didn’t come back to the study room. And of course, there was no reply either.

∞ ∞ ∞

The next morning, I left the house early and went in front of Choi Juoon’s house. After waiting a little, I saw Choi Juoon coming out with his phone in one hand and his other hand in his school uniform pocket.