My Alpha Era Began with Gongjindan Chapter 41

I feel wronged!

I was so upset that my heart ached. How could you say that to me? So this is what it means for you to be an Alpha now? The words rose all the way to the back of my throat.

“…What’s dangerous?”

But that was all I managed to say. Because I thought I had some idea why Jung Pureum was so resolutely blocking my visit to his training center.

If I kept hanging around him, this time it might not be a week-long group training camp but a month-long one I’d get dragged into. Worse, it could even cause problems for the national team selection trials.

Jung Pureum said it wasn’t because of me, but in matters like this, Jung Saebom was more reliable than Jung Pureum.

I bit my lower lip hard without realizing it.

―Hyung.

“Never mind. It’s late. Let’s talk later.”

Jung Pureum looked like he wanted to say more to me, but I quickly ended the call. If we talked any longer, I felt like I’d confess how wronged I felt.

It’s unbecoming of my age to be this upset over something like this. I groped at my aching chest with my hand. …What is this? A heart attack?

Thinking about Jung Pureum made my chest feel tight and my head ache. It was strange, considering how Jung Pureum Therapy had been healing my ailments until now. He wasn’t Baek Wonhee, so why did just thinking about him make my body feel this bad?

I lay down on the bed and forced my eyes shut. When I woke up, Jung Pureum would come to the Korean medicine clinic again with his usual nonchalant face.

Yes, that was enough.

I didn’t need to go to the training center myself to see Jung Pureum whenever I wanted. There was no need for me to be upset over that “don’t come to the training center” comment.

…No need to be upset, my foot.

In the end, I couldn’t sleep. I was too wronged and dumbfounded to fall asleep. Honestly, what’s so dangerous about it? It’s not like I’m some superior omega with extraordinary pheromones.

Even an Alpha-only swimming pool permits visits from omegas registered as family members of an Alpha. You couldn’t stay long, but it wasn’t difficult to look around inside for about an hour.

Of course, since I’m not family to Jung Pureum, the registration itself is complicated. Because a neighbor hyung can’t prove a relationship with something like a family register extract. Such a harsh Korean society.

Still, if Jung Pureum explained me to others as “family,” I could probably watch his training once. Everyone would have that much flexibility.

“Your face looks terrible.”

Kim Miyoung, who arrived at work a little later than me, was shocked at the sight of me sitting at the desk.

“Did you not sleep? If you keep pulling all-nighters, the director is going to end up hospitalized again.”

“I didn’t stay up all night, but I did lose sleep. I had a lot on my mind.”

“What kind of thoughts? Take care of your health.”

“Just… an in-depth contemplation about my secondary gender.”

Kim Miyoung looked at me with pity. She’s a Beta, but she knows well enough how much omegas suffer in life.

For one, right here is me, who almost got his clinic shut down just for being an omega in close proximity. Kim Miyoung shook her head, saying she had no room to talk on that subject.

Jung Pureum, who had no idea how I felt, showed up at the clinic just before lunchtime.

The moment Jung Pureum arrived, Kim Miyoung muttered something cryptic: “A man who doesn’t know how to give up…” She’s really a hard person to understand.

I took Jung Pureum, who wanted to have lunch together, out of the clinic. Jung Pureum looked me up and down and made a fuss about how I’d lost so much weight in just a week.

“Nothing else happened, right?”

“What else would happen. Business is good these days. I’m selling a lot of Gongjindan.”

“You looked like you hadn’t slept well.”

I hadn’t slept well because of you.

But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Jung Pureum that he was the cause.

Because if I said something like “I couldn’t sleep because of you,” I felt like Jung Pureum would actually be pleased. I could easily picture his face—excited, apart from being worried.

Just thinking about it made my chest ache again. It felt like someone was poking deep into my chest with acupuncture needles. Ah! That’s not an acupoint! That’s not how you place needles!

For lunch, we had something completely unromantic—rice soup with beef. Watching Jung Pureum eat heartily only made my heart feel heavier.

“Pureum.”

“Yes?”

“Is it good?”

When I asked, Jung Pureum quietly put down his spoon. On his handsome face, I could clearly see him trying to figure out what he’d done wrong.

“Why are you putting your spoon down? Keep eating.”

“…Hyung, did I do something wrong?”

“No?”

“But… the way you said ‘Is it good?’ just now had a different tone.”

You did a lot wrong.

Yesterday you made me feel wronged. And on top of that, you followed that coach’s nonsense without a single objection, making me even more upset.

But I maintained a gentle expression and shook my head. The more I acted like that, the more Jung Pureum whined like a dog that had caused a huge accident.

“Is it because I said you can’t come watch training?”

But unlike me, Jung Pureum has pretty good intuition, so he quickly hit the nail on the head. Instead of bothering to deny it, I just lowered my head.

What was dangerous, why it wasn’t allowed… I wanted to hear the details from Jung Pureum’s own mouth. Actually, I also didn’t want to hear it even more. Because I was afraid of being disappointed in Jung Pureum.

“It’s not because you’re an omega that I said it’s dangerous. It’s because there are a lot of people at school who dislike me.”

But the moment I heard an answer I hadn’t expected, my feeling of being wronged evaporated completely. What did I just hear?

“…What?”

“Senior students too, and I don’t have a great relationship with my classmates either. Swimming isn’t a team sport—it’s an individual event.”

I was utterly shocked to hear that there were many people who disliked Jung Pureum. It’s fine if someone dislikes me. I’m rude and prickly just like I look.

But if someone dislikes Jung Pureum, isn’t that person the one who’s seriously wrong?

Unlike me, Jung Pureum was kind and gentle to everyone. He spoke beautifully, and he was polite to adults.

On top of that, even when the coach harassed him relentlessly, instead of giving up and lying down, he kept his mouth shut and persevered with grit.

I gripped my spoon tightly in my right hand.

“No, who in the world would dislike you?”

“Hyung…”

“Honestly, I’m dumbfounded. Hey, if that’s the case, it’s fine. I’ll go memorize the faces of everyone who dislikes you, and then secretly poke them with long acupuncture needles.”

At my words, Jung Pureum laughed softly. I was being serious, but it must have sounded like a joke.

“Still, you really can’t come watch training.”

But despite the laughter, Jung Pureum was firm. He said it wasn’t because of his secondary gender, but Jung Pureum himself couldn’t completely ignore the fact that I’m an omega. The national team selection isn’t a joke.

I still can’t believe that Jung Pureum has enemies. It sounds like saying Western medicine is ahead of Korean medicine. But if there really are many people who don’t get along with Jung Pureum, just me hanging around the training center could easily lead to rumors. That’s why I got dragged into training last time too.

Instead of demanding to know why not, I just stirred my half-finished rice soup with my spoon. I understood it logically, but my heart was still in a state of incomprehension. My chest felt a bit tight. Is it really a heart attack….

“I feel like I’m drifting further away from you.”

In the end, I gave up on acting my age and honestly poured out my feelings.

“It’s funny for me to say this, since I’m the one who made you an Alpha, but I’m scared that our relationship is changing just because of secondary genders.”

“…”

“When you were a Beta, it was fine that I was an omega, but now that you’re an Alpha, just being near you makes me a nuisance.”

Jung Pureum comes in and out of my clinic so often the threshold is wearing down, but I can’t even visit his training center without his permission. Jung Pureum hasn’t done anything wrong, but every time I feel that difference, I feel like I’m growing farther from him.

“I should have never given you that Gongjindan.”

At my muttering, Jung Pureum’s shoulders visibly tensed. Well, if I were him, I’d be dumbfounded too if the person who changed my secondary gender said something like that.

I quickly added that I was sorry for talking nonsense. Honestly, maybe it was because I wasn’t feeling well, but I’d said way too many things I shouldn’t have.

But despite my apology, Jung Pureum remained frozen for a while. My words seemed to have shocked him quite a bit.

“I didn’t know you thought that way, hyung.”

“Pureum.”

“I thought that thanks to becoming an Alpha, I’d gotten closer to you.”

“…”

“When I was a Beta, I wasn’t even a consideration to you.”

A consideration for what? I didn’t really understand Jung Pureum’s words, but I tactfully didn’t argue.

The auntie who had been eavesdropping on our conversation from behind chimed in with an “Oh my, oh my,” like she was watching a morning drama. Anyway, this kind of serious conversation isn’t appropriate for a rice soup restaurant.

But it was too late to change venues now. I looked at Jung Pureum with a troubled heart. Jung Pureum, whom I was seeing after a week, was still cute, sly, adorable, and even looked appetizing.

Yes, he looked more appetizing than the beef head rice soup in front of me. That’s the problem. When Jung Pureum was a Beta, the beef head rice soup used to look more delicious.

“…Fine, if you say it’s not allowed, I have no choice. I’ll give up on watching training.”

When I finally raised the white flag, Jung Pureum looked both very sorry and visibly relieved.

He really must have been worried that I might barge into the Alpha-only swimming pool without rhyme or reason. Even though he knows I can’t get in unless it’s at least something like unauthorized entry.

That day, we talked a lot before parting ways. It was mostly a conversation where I asked Jung Pureum questions and he answered.

From what I heard, all of Jung Pureum’s university seniors were hopeless cases.

From someone who got suspended for doping, to guys who took out their frustration on juniors because they were about to get cut due to their own lack of skill as they aged. They were even worse than the coach.

What shocked me most was that Jung Pureum had never properly told me about his seniors until I asked. When he came back after getting hit last time, I should have shaken him down until the dust flew.

I listened with one ear and let it out the other as Jung Pureum repeatedly told me that it was dangerous for these reasons and that I should absolutely not come to watch training.

I gave up on watching training as promised. But I thought I should probably take a look around Jung Pureum’s school. If you’re going to leave your kid by the water, you should at least do a preliminary site inspection of the area, right?