I was unable to answer for a moment.
Why did I want to become a physician?
The answer to that question had never changed even once throughout my ten lives.
“I… don’t want to die.”
The moment I let my true feelings out, my voice trembled faintly.
The conference hall fell silent.
“I want to cure my illness no matter what. And with the treatments I discover, I want to save people who are suffering the same way I am.”
Elder Heo Unbaek looked at me without a word.
“Is that why you must take the Ip-gwan Examination now?”
“Yes.”
I nodded.
“I understand that the Elders are worried about me. I also know how dangerous it is to face patients without being properly prepared.”
They weren’t stopping me because they disliked me.
Rather, they were recommending the safest path because they wanted to keep a young girl like me alive.
That was why I had to persuade them with even greater sincerity.
“But there is no guarantee that my illness will definitely be cured if I wait three years. I might even lose the clue I have found now and deteriorate again.”
I faintly heard Father swallow.
I desperately resisted turning toward him.
“There are times when a patient cannot afford to wait, either. Once you miss the moment when a life can be saved, even the most outstanding physician cannot bring that life back.”
The countless faces I had seen in my past lives flashed through my mind.
People who had reached out their hands, begging to be saved.
Moments when I could do nothing but watch a life fade away right before my eyes.
And even myself, slowly dying alone without ever receiving proper treatment from anyone.
“I want to survive and uncover the cause of my illness.”
My heart pounded fiercely beneath the hand resting against my chest.
“And when someone reaches out their hand to me and says they want to live, I want to become a physician who never lets go of that hand until the very end.”
My vision grew slightly blurry.
“Because I know better than anyone how desperately someone can want to live.”
I forced myself to hold back the tears welling in my eyes.
I hadn’t come here because I wanted them to pity me.
I had come to prove that I, too, deserved the chance to learn as a physician.
“So please, don’t take this opportunity away from me simply because my body is weak.”
I placed both hands neatly together on top of the wooden box.
“I will record the condition of my body and the effects of the medicinal pills every day. Even when I directly treat patients, I will always follow the guidance of my supervising physician.”
I bowed deeply toward the Elders.
“Please trust my will to survive and my desire to save people. Give me the opportunity to learn and take responsibility as a physician.”
As I lowered my head, one tear I had been holding back fell onto the red carpet.
A long silence settled over the conference hall.
How much time had passed?
Rustle.
I heard the quiet sound of clothes shifting.
I slowly raised my head.
Elder Heo Unbaek was standing.
Holding the wooden box I had brought, he looked down at the medicinal pills.
“I have seen countless physicians and physician trainees throughout my life.”
His gaze turned toward me.
“There were children with remarkable talent, and children who learned knowledge quickly. But this is the first time I have seen a child who, even while suffering herself, calmly searched for a solution and, at the end of it, thought of other patients as well.”
Elder Heo Unbaek looked toward Yeon Baekyu and Yeon Baekgang.
“Family Head, Young Family Head. I believed that because Little Lady Ryeonghwa was too young and had not yet recovered from her illness, she would have difficulty shouldering the responsibility of a physician.”
He looked at me again.
“But after seeing the medicinal pills and hearing her thoughts today, I have changed my mind. Little Lady already possesses an important quality that a physician must have.”
Elder Dam Uhyeon also nodded while holding one of the medicinal pills in his palm.
“Rather than simply making a stronger medicine from the same medicinal herbs, the idea of preparing several options according to the patient’s circumstances is more impressive. I have no objection either.”
Elder Nam Jino uncrossed his arms.
“However, for the time being, I will personally oversee Little Lady’s diagnosis and pharmaceutical preparations. If I judge that she is pushing herself even a little too hard, I will stop her immediately.”
“Yes. I will obey.”
Finally, Elder Ju Yeonseok looked at the box containing the medicinal pills I had made throughout the night before speaking.
“These medicinal pills must be tested again at Je-yak Hall. Their duration, dosage intervals, and side effects all need to be examined precisely.”
I waited nervously for his next words.
“So even after the Ip-gwan Examination is over, come to Je-yak Hall. If you’ve started this research, shouldn’t you take responsibility for it until the very end?”
A faint smile spread across his lips.
“As a member of Yakryeong.”
In that instant, something hot surged up from deep within my chest.
All four Elders had acknowledged me.
They hadn’t granted me permission out of pity.
After examining my medicinal pills and considering my ideas, they had accepted me as a candidate for becoming a physician.
Then a large hand carefully settled on my shoulder.
I hadn’t noticed when he had approached, but Father was standing beside me.
“Father…?”
Father silently looked down at my hands.
The small cuts I had gotten while preparing medicinal herbs, and my palms reddened from gripping the pestle throughout the night.
He slowly bent his knees until we were at eye level.
“Did you make all of these by yourself throughout the night?”
I hesitated for a moment before nodding.
“I suddenly thought of a method… but there wasn’t much time left until morning.”
Father’s brows furrowed deeply.
“Why did you not wake me?”
“You were tired too, Father. And this time, I wanted to accomplish something on my own.”
Father seemed about to say something, but closed his mouth.
Then he gently enclosed my small hands between both of his.
“You proved it yourself.”
His hands trembled faintly.
“I was so afraid you would get hurt that all I wanted was to hide you in my arms, but you were making your own way to survive.”
The corners of Father’s eyes reddened.
“You did well, Ryeonghwa.”
At those words, the tears I had been holding back until the very end burst forth.
It was the one thing I had wanted to hear so desperately throughout my past lives.
I had wanted someone to recognize me for struggling so desperately just to survive…
I threw myself into Father’s arms.
Without the slightest hesitation, Father pulled me tightly into his embrace.
“From now on, don’t stay up all night by yourself.”
Father slowly stroked my back.
“No matter how long and difficult the road you choose may be, your father will walk it with you now.”
“Yes, Father.”
Just then, a low cough came from the direction of the raised platform.
Grandfather was standing and looking at us.
Everyone in the conference hall straightened their postures.
“Yeon Ryeonghwa.”
I stepped out of Father’s arms and stood facing Grandfather.
“Yes, Family Head.”
Grandfather looked at the medicinal pills on the table one by one.
“When I first told you to make a medicine that would last more than a day, it was to determine whether your body would be able to endure the Ip-gwan Examination.”
His gaze returned to me.
“But the answer you brought me was different from what I had expected.”
Grandfather’s voice softened slightly.
“You did not simply try to extend the medicinal effects. You thought for yourself about why such a condition was necessary, and instead of clinging to a single answer, you found a safer method.”
Looking at me, he gave me a faint smile.
“Your medicine is not yet perfect, and your body has not fully recovered either. From now on, you will be subject to stricter examinations than the other physician trainees.”
I straightened my back.
“I will bear it.”
A faint smile flickered around Grandfather’s eyes.
“Good.”
The moment those words fell, the atmosphere in the conference hall grew taut.
“By the authority of Family Head Yeon Baekyu, I hereby permit Yeon Ryeonghwa to take this year’s Ip-gwan Examination.”
A burst of astonishment erupted from various corners of the conference hall.
I couldn’t move an inch where I stood.
The Ip-gwan Examination.
The door to becoming a physician, one I had never even dared to approach in my past life, had finally opened before me.
This was not an opportunity granted out of someone’s pity.
It was a position I had earned by making medicine with my own hands and proving myself through my own thoughts and determination.
“Show them everything you have in the examination.”
Grandfather added in a low, firm voice.
“Prove for yourself that you are worthy of becoming the physician you so desperately wish to be.”
I wiped away the tears remaining at the corners of my eyes and bowed deeply.
“Yes. I will definitely prove it.”
***
Even after leaving the main residence, my feet still felt as though they were floating.
I could take the Ip-gwan Examination.
I couldn’t believe that the path to becoming a physician trainee, one I hadn’t even been able to approach in my past life, had truly opened before me.
I walked down the long corridor, holding Father’s hand tightly.
“Are you that happy?”
Father asked as he looked down at my face.
“Yes. I haven’t even passed yet, but I keep smiling.”
“What does an examination matter? Considering what you accomplished before the Elders today, you’ll pass the Ip-gwan Examination with ease.”
“Even so, I shouldn’t let my guard down.”
“That is true.”
Father nodded with satisfaction.
Even so, he didn’t loosen his grip on my hand in the slightest.
Then a low voice came from not far away.
“Did you hear? I heard the Family Head just announced it. Apparently, Little Lady Ryeonghwa is taking the Ip-gwan Examination this time.”
Three physician trainees were gathered behind a pillar.
They were quite some distance from us, and the curved corridor and wall blocked their view, so they didn’t seem to notice me approaching.
Another physician trainee lowered his voice as though he couldn’t believe it.
“That makes no sense. Didn’t they say she couldn’t even get out of bed until recently? How is she supposed to take the Ip-gwan Examination?”
“I heard the Family Head himself gave her permission. The four Elders who returned to the main family all agreed as well.”
“She’s the Young Family Head’s daughter, so don’t you think she was given the opportunity specially?”
Along with his last words came a low, mocking laugh.
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