A Scorching Day Chapter 15

Among the many factors for judging a person, the most reliable was the eyes. It was one of the few lessons in living that he had learned from his father. That gestures, actions, and expressions could be faked, but the eyes could not. That the eyes were where all the traces, paths, and emotions of that person’s life resided.

As he grew, he had met the eyes of countless people. And Ki Joon had been able to read all kinds of desires in them.

Men who flocked from all over the country chasing hollow glory. Outwardly, they were all friendly to Ki Joon, but their true intentions, as read, were all different. Bare-faced contempt for the still-young Ki Joon. An appraisal of whether the boss’s son was truly capable of swallowing the organization. Conversely, there was also flattery from those trying to curry favor with a mere student.

The desires in the eyes of women who sold drink, bodies, and smiles were different again. There was a risky hint of lust, and something akin to maternal affection. They sometimes looked at Ki Joon, who had shot up far beyond his peers in stature, as a man, or sometimes as a son.

His classmates were much the same. They were generally favorable toward Ki Joon. Some kids worshipped him like an idol, but a few who knew of Ki Joon’s family background also looked at him with revulsion. Still, they weren’t as complicated as the adults who smiled to your face while plotting to stab you in the back.

Ki Joon judged others based on the intuition he felt when meeting their eyes, and he trusted that intuition that came from it.

And Ki Joon, looking into Yoon Gawon’s eyes, felt that he was of the same kind.

There was no basis, but he was certain. Things that had been invisible at first gradually became clear. Having grown up through less than smooth times, his senses, sharpened like an animal’s, kept crying out that that kid stood in the same place as him. Perhaps that was why he was even more drawn to him.

Yoon Gawon’s eyes were clean but empty. And yet, they made the viewer’s throat tighten with loneliness. The pupils themselves seemed like tears. Transparent and beautiful, but ultimately, what lay beneath was sadness.

Yoon Gawon had grown up under such a mother. Beautiful and rough, but in truth, lonelier and thirstier for affection than anyone. So it was inevitable that he too would have such eyes.

Only now did Ki Joon come to understand the solitude and loneliness on Yoon Gawon’s face, the self that pretended otherwise but was, in reality, more parched for attention and affection than anyone.

It was an understanding not of the head but of the heart. A feeling not of simple grasp, but of the skin, the heart. Because that kid had grown up in the same place as him. Because he knew all too well that here, one could never grow up normally and fully like other kids.

If I acknowledge the sense of stability that comes from the fact that he is a person from the same world as me… would that make me a despicable person? Yoon Gawon suffers so much because of that fact, and yet if I feel that way.

But still, he couldn’t deny it. Because since he had grown up in a gangster family, Gawon probably wouldn’t look at him with any particular astonishment, unlike other kids.

He liked the kid named Yoon Gawon. He was cute when he munched on his food, he smiled more than expected, and he was pretty. He liked the way he pushed away, and also the way he timidly pulled back.

He liked the faint scent of soap that came from him, the way he walked quietly, and the moment he had cautiously grabbed Ki Joon’s arm.

And, he liked the fact that he and that kid were of the same kind.

Before all those feelings, that kid’s gender was not an issue. Though the situation and emotions were unfamiliar, he was ready to accept them—Yoon Gawon, and his own gradually clearer and more distinct feelings. So Ki Joon willingly decided to continue exploring.

∞ ∞ ∞

The last class ended. The classroom, which had been in a state of near-sleep, came alive with energy as class ended. Everyone busily packed their bags and raised their suppressed voices, chattering noisily as they waited for the homeroom dismissal.

Gawon, who had kept his eyes fixed on his notebook the whole time, lifted his head. Naturally, Ki Joon’s back, sitting at the very front, came into view. Bob, bob. His broad back swayed minutely each time his head drooped. Despite the bustling atmosphere, he was steadfastly dozing off.

Gawon let out an involuntary chuckle. He’s dozing off again today. He’d eaten a huge lunch and played soccer, so he must be tired.

Well, if you eat and move as much as Ki Joon, you’d get sleepy too. Does he stay up late at night? Is training that grueling?

I think he said mixed martial arts—what kind is it, exactly? Something like kickboxing? So far I’ve only seen him play soccer and basketball, so I can’t really picture it. His fists are big, his thighs are thick, and his whole body is packed with muscle, so that kind of fighting would suit him…

…What am I doing right now?

Startled, Gawon hastily reined in the train of thought that had been unconsciously stretching out. Lately, useless idle thoughts had been increasing noticeably. It was all because of Ki Joon, who kept pestering him relentlessly from the side.

Take today alone… In the morning, he bought me bread and milk, right after second period we went to the snack bar together. At lunch, we ate together too. After homeroom ends, he’ll probably suggest we leave together. Our home directions are different, and I absolutely won’t let him walk me toward my place, so we’ll part ways quickly enough.

No matter how much he pushed him away, it was useless. Like a large dog that, no matter how much its mean owner kicks at it, clings even more and wags its tail, Ki Joon kept pressing forward with his characteristic sly attitude. Should I call it thick-skinned, or brazen? Even when Ki Joon was treated harshly and glared at with hostility, he never got discouraged or hurt.

But it wasn’t as if Ki Joon acted that way toward everyone. On the contrary, his attitude toward other kids was the complete opposite, which made Gawon incredibly flustered to watch.

Like a magnet attracting objects, there were always people crowded around him. And yet, when Gawon saw Ki Joon surrounded by them, he always felt as if he were alone. Like oil floating without mixing with water, Ki Joon, with a smiling face, was clearly pushing others away and isolating himself.

But whenever Gawon had that feeling, he quietly shook his head to himself. It must be an overreach.

He’s a guy even the other boys go crazy chasing after, let alone the girls. In fact, when they were together, Ki Joon’s phone never stopped ringing. Even when he turned it to silent, clearly annoyed, the screen kept flashing without pause. Unlike Gawon, who scrolled through secondhand market apps and set morning alarms on his phone.

…And yet, why does that kind of guy, of all people, bother with someone like me.

It was a question he had thrown at himself dozens of times since he’d been with Ki Joon. But Gawon still couldn’t find the answer. Anyone could see he treated Gawon differently from the other kids, and now Gawon knew that fact so clearly he couldn’t even doubt it. But the reason remained unknown.

The homeroom teacher entered and tapped on the podium, and Ki Joon groggily lifted his head. Stretching his arms wide and yawning languidly, he looked just like a lion waking from sleep.

“Oh dear, oh dear. Did you sleep well? Your face is beautifully—marked!”

“…Sorry.”

“Look at this guy, his voice is all husky.”

Ki Joon chuckled and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. Gawon’s lips curved into a faint arc. Listening to the customary short homeroom announcements, his heart pounded for no reason. He wanted to quickly see that “beautifully marked” face. Maybe I’ll tease him about it when he comes over… He was thinking just that far when—

“Oh, and the kids doing arts and sports. Come with me to the staff office for a moment. Ki Joon and… Shim Woohyun. Kim Yungi.”

“Okay~”

From the front seat, Ki Joon rose. His overwhelmingly large body stood up tall in an instant. As the homeroom teacher, having called out three names, headed out the front door, Gawon’s gaze fell on a crumpled note that had slipped out of Ki Joon’s pocket.

What’s that. If it was just trash, he would have thrown it away long ago instead of keeping it in his pocket. Gawon tilted his head. He didn’t know what it was, but he figured it’d be better to pick it up before someone stepped on it. Gawon quickly moved to the front seat and discreetly scooped up the note.

Just as he was about to put the paper in his pocket—

His unwitting glance caught letters that should not have been written there.

“…”

His palm grew cold in an instant.

Gasping sharply, Gawon first looked around. After confirming no one was paying him any attention, he quietly unfolded the crumpled note.

[Why even study? You’re gonna end up in the red-light district like your mom anyway]

His vision blurred. His heart pounded like a drum. Each stroke of the letters drove into Gawon’s heart like nails.

His breath caught painfully in his chest and wouldn’t come out properly. Pounding his chest with his fist in a hurry, Gawon crumpled the note and put it in his pocket.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t experienced this kind of crude mockery before. But why did it hurt so much today? Why did it hurt so much, so frighteningly…?

He had no intention of suspecting Ki Joon just because the note had come from his pocket. It was clearly Heo Yeonggyu’s handwriting. Probably Ki Joon had intercepted the note Heo Yeonggyu meant to deliver to him. Even as he clumsily guessed that, his mind grew dizzy.

It was a rumor so widespread that there was hardly anyone who didn’t know. Heo Yeonggyu had been spreading it relentlessly since first year. No, there had always been guys like Heo Yeonggyu even in middle school. So it wasn’t something to be newly embarrassed about now.

And yet, his face burned hot. He felt wretched, miserable. He had hoped that Ki Joon, at least, wouldn’t know this fact. How futile that wish of his had been. Such an easily exposed truth, revealed by a single lousy note like this.

…Ki Joon, that kid is nothing to me anyway. So there’s no reason to feel this way. But why…

No matter how desperately he denied it, he simply couldn’t deny the fact that his heart hurt. His eyelids burned shamefully, and Gawon took a deep breath and gritted his teeth.

“…Yoon Gawon?”

Just then, a clear and fresh voice sounded right in front of him. Quickly inhaling, Gawon slowly opened his eyes.

The heat still lingering on his eyelids wouldn’t easily subside, so Gawon quickly turned his head away. As he hurriedly turned to leave, his shoulder was gently caught.]