A Scorching Day Chapter 34

“…If we don’t stop now, you’ll only hurt more later.”

“…”

“I really need to focus on my studies now, so I won’t have time to meet anymore. …You need to train too.”

Using words he had never once used as excuses before, he hid the words he couldn’t bring himself to say. That he wished you would remain in his memories just as you were now, forever. That the moment he saw you overlap with those people who made his life miserable, he truly wouldn’t be able to endure it.

That you, the first spring to ever come into my life, I never want to spoil.

“I won’t make you uncomfortable. I won’t take up your time. I won’t keep bothering you to meet up. Just… let me stay like this, the way we are now.”

Ki Joon spoke in a trembling voice and took a step closer. Gawon quietly averted his gaze. At the clear meaning of rejection, Ki Joon’s face hardened further.

“Gawon. What… what should I do?”

“You don’t need to do anything. It’s not your problem.”

“…Then?”

“…”

“Tell me. Gawon.”

Large palms wrapped around Gawon’s forearms. Gawon shook his head and tried to step back. But the searing warmth clung to him persistently.

“Tell me.”

“…Stop it.”

“Yoon Gawon!”

“I can’t tell you, so just stop!”

Gawon, who had been shaking his head frantically, yelled out. His voice was hot and damp. At this rate, the lump he had been piling up inside his chest was about to explode. Even if it meant pushing Ki Joon away, he didn’t want to hurt him with the thoughts he harbored right now.

“…Gawon. You… is something, is something wrong?”

Only after hearing Ki Joon’s hesitant words did Gawon realize he was swallowing back tears. His eyelids were burning. Gawon pulled his gripped arms free with force. He hastily turned his head away, turning his back on Ki Joon.

“I’m going now.”

“Yoon Gawon.”

As soon as he took a couple of steps, Ki Joon’s hand grabbed his wrist again. This time, Gawon didn’t forcefully shake him off either. Because he knew that if he did, Ki Joon would just catch him again and again anyway.

Gawon took a deep breath. Steeling his heart with composure, he turned around. Looking straight into Ki Joon’s eyes, he said.

“It hurts. Please let go of my hand.”

Immediately, the strength constricting his wrist melted away. The look in Ki Joon’s eyes, meeting his for a moment, was painful. The eyes that had always been steady and full of strength were now violently wavering.

“…Alright. Then.”

Ki Joon rubbed his face roughly with one palm. A rough sigh escaped from his broad chest. His thick Adam’s apple moved up and down with difficulty.

“I’ll walk you home. At least let me do that.”

“I’ll go alone today.”

“…Gawon. If you suddenly act like this, I—“

“Later. …Let’s talk later, again.”

Gawon hurriedly walked out of the park. He walked without looking back even once until he had completely left the bustling downtown area. Before he knew it, he was out of breath and a thin sheen of sweat had formed on his forehead.

Only when he reached the empty bus stop did the sigh he had been holding back finally burst out. Gawon stood blankly, waiting for the bus that would take him home. His mood was a mess, no—it was horrific.

‘What should I do?’

Ki Joon’s voice, asking that, had been desperate. The voice that was always full of composure and playfulness was tinged with anxiety. He had made it that way. The damp, mold-like sorrow that had completely occupied his life had finally spread to Ki Joon as well.

You, who colored my mornings, weary with pessimism and fatigue, with vitality and anticipation,

You, who sat across from me and ate udon together, offering comfort that I did well today too,

You, who became a solid shoulder to lean on at the edge of a reality worse than any nightmare—

I ended up hurting you, after all.

∞ ∞ ∞

Sweat was pouring down like rain. Ki Joon roughly wiped away the irritating liquid that kept getting into his eyes with the back of his hand.

The sandbags strapped to his limbs were heavy. Despite the worries filling his head, his feet trudging up the rough mountain path did not stop for a single moment.

“Hey! Your pace is dropping. Keep up, stick close!”

“Yes, sir!”

Ahn Seongjoon and Mr. Kim Joon, who had fallen behind, made grimacing faces. The number of participants in this training session was seven, including the master and Ki Joon.

In a certain county in Gangwon Province, famous for various leisure sports, there were several training centers nestled against deep mountain ranges. The master, who had happened to visit this place and fallen in love with it at first sight, would often bring his trainees here for several days of training whenever there was a competition.

The rough breathing of the men echoed along the narrow path. Ki Joon, panting heavily, kept his eyes fixed forward. Even as his vision, blurry with sweat and dizziness, wavered, he did not stop walking.

Normally, he could have easily climbed this level of mountain path with his usual stamina, but it was a different story after sparring non-stop for hours since early morning. On top of that, trying to run with heavy sandbags on his limbs made him feel like his entire body was being dragged into the dirt.

“Ha… fuck.”

Ki Joon roughly wiped his forehead with his palm and cursed, mingled with hot breaths. No matter how much he moved his body, the thoughts clouding his mind wouldn’t shake off. He sighed deeply and bit his lip hard.

After all… I was probably too hasty.

I had to go and confess, and scare him like that….

‘I don’t think I can do that.’

‘Let’s leave it at that.’

Whenever he recalled Gawon’s face, head bowed, saying those words, Ki Joon felt dizzy. He wanted to beat up his own idiot self.

“Ha, fuck, fuck.”

Ki Joon raised his fist and struck his own head with a thump thump. Seongjoon, struggling to keep up from behind, looked bewildered and twirled his index finger at his temple.

“What the, huff, huff…. Ki Joon…. Are you, huff, losing your mind from exhaustion?”

Ki Joon didn’t answer, just glared ahead with venomous eyes. Seongjoon, used to his rather rude disregard, nudged Mr. Joon walking beside him.

“That bastard, huff, is he acting, a bit strange today?”

“Right… haa… I mean, he’s usually like a screw loose, heh heh, grinning all the time.”

The taste of blood filled his mouth. Ptooey, Ki Joon turned his head to the side and spat, then took out the bottled water from his pants to wet his mouth. He poured the rest haphazardly over his head and face.

He pulled up his shirt to roughly wipe his wet face, then put strength into both eyes. The muscles throughout his body spasmed on their own, and steam-like mist blurred his vision. One by one, dropouts began to appear, but Ki Joon continued to climb the mountain. It felt like if he stopped, the distracting thoughts in his head would consume him.

After coming down from the mountain, they had a late lunch. After only a quick brushing of teeth and washing up, sparring resumed immediately.

Ki Joon shoved the mouthpiece into his mouth with sunken eyes. As he put on his gloves and stepped into the ring, Ahn Seongjoon followed. A tense atmosphere hung over the ring.

Ahn Seongjoon took an aggressive stance from the start. He continuously threw middle kicks, applying pressure, but Ki Joon soon moved in for a tackle, driving into Ahn Seongjoon’s midsection and lifting his right thigh as if embracing it. Losing his center of gravity in an instant, Ahn Seongjoon fell backward.

“Ahn Seongjoon! Get up, you have to go in again. Throw kicks like before. What are you doing!”

The master’s voice rang loudly through the training hall. But once broken, his pace did not easily return. Ki Joon moved like a machine that had completed its warm-up. Even when hit, there was little impact, and before a solid body that, once it broke an opponent down, would fiercely exploit the opening, his opponent quickly tired.

Unlike his hot, burning body, Ki Joon’s eyes were coldly cool. Unlike his usual self, who would be filled with euphoria and gleam when exercising, he was different. Wearing a dazed expression, as if distracted by something, he looked like a broken person.

The sparring, which had begun as standing exchanges, had turned to the ground. Ahn Seongjoon, who had taken the top position from the start, quickly mounted Ki Joon’s stomach. He immediately attempted a submission, but Ki Joon reversed the position a step ahead.

Nimbly taking Ahn Seongjoon’s back, Ki Joon wrapped his arm around his neck. His rough, solidly bulging bicep pressed down on his throat. Ahn Seongjoon’s face turned crimson, his eyes wide. Under the unrelenting pressure that allowed no gap, his face quickly became ischemic.

“Kkh, ta-… tap.”

A tiny sound barely escaped his lips. His face, flushed red, gradually turned pale. The hand urgently tapping Ki Joon’s forearm flailed desperately in the air.

But Ki Joon, absorbed in something, didn’t hear his voice. Ki Joon’s attacks, which were already overwhelming, had become dull, unable to carefully observe his opponent, and at the same time, merciless.

“Stop! Enough, Ki Joon!”

Unable to watch any longer, the master intervened. Only then did Ki Joon’s eyes regain their light. Startled, Ki Joon immediately released the pressure from his arm.