A Scorching Day Chapter 35

“Kkh… kkheok, ke… heok, weok.”

Ahn Seongjoon, collapsed on the floor, twisted his body in agony. Watching Ahn Seongjoon retch and gag, Ki Joon roughly rubbed his face with both hands. Crazy bastard…. Cursing himself, he walked over to Ahn Seongjoon and extended his hand.

“Hyung.”

“You fucking bastard. Kkh… heok.”

Ahn Seongjoon sprang up, his bloodshot eyes glaring, and threw a punch. Ki Joon just took the hit. His helmeted face snapped to the side.

“Joon. What’s going on?”

Unable to stand by, the master approached and placed a hand on Ki Joon’s shoulder. Ki Joon took off his headgear and bowed his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Go get some air for 5 minutes and come back.”

“…Yes, sir.”

Ki Joon took off his gloves and stepped out of the training hall.

The sun had already fully set. Taking in the outline of the ridgeline fading into the darkened sky, Ki Joon stood under a streetlamp and leaned against it.

The early crescent moon looked just like that kid. White and pretty, yet somehow forlorn and sorrowful.

Haa— A deep sigh burst from his core. Whether his eyes were open or closed, the face of that one person kept coming to mind with a vividness that was almost tiresome.

Today was the second day of training, and tomorrow was the last day. After just two days, he could see that kid again at school.

He’d figure it out then. He’d apologize again for his hasty confession, and suggest they go back to how they were before. Start over from there. That should work, but… why did those two days feel so agonizingly long?

The truth was, he was anxious. Afraid he couldn’t go back to the way things were with Yoon Gawon. Not wanting to admit that, he’d pushed his body like a madman all day long. But it just wouldn’t go his way.

He simply missed Yoon Gawon. Desperately, achingly missed him. He longed for even a single syllable of his voice. He’d said he’d answer if Gawon called at night… but would he even answer now?

Yoon Gawon.

…What are you doing right now?

Ki Joon clenched his empty hand. If only he had his phone. They didn’t have a single picture together, but at least the affectionate messages they’d exchanged remained. The moments of casually asking and answering about their days, laughing together—right now, Ki Joon missed them terribly.

Even so, he couldn’t go fetch his phone from the lodging right now. What are you doing now, Yoon Gawon. Probably studying in the school library. Was he eating and studying as if nothing had happened?

Are you… okay right now?

“…I’m not okay.”

A feeble voice escaped. Ki Joon closed his eyes. He tapped his sneaker-clad feet against the ground, thump, thump.

It was pathetic and laughable. That even while climbing the mountain until his mouth tasted blood, he hadn’t been able to erase Gawon’s face for a single moment. That he couldn’t focus on the match and made a fool of himself. That he was standing here alone, miserably muttering Gawon’s name.

What should I do?

When he’d asked that, he’d been truly desperate. Ki Joon had never known he could be such a pathetic person. Recalling even a side of himself he hadn’t known left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He didn’t want to lose Yoon Gawon by any means. Yoon Gawon, who had seemed to be approaching smoothly, had now retreated far away. Perhaps farther than where he’d originally stood. The one who had never once been easy had become even more difficult with just a single mistake.

What had gone wrong? Where had the error started? Was it because he was a guy with the same parts? Or was the timing too hasty? Or maybe he just wasn’t Yoon Gawon’s type from the start…

But no matter how many times he recalled and mulled over that moment… something felt off about attributing it to such common reasons.

‘I can’t tell you, so just stop!’

Gawon’s reaction was too heavy and his expression too somber for it to be just fluster or surprise from a sudden confession.

The voice saying that if they didn’t do this, he’d only hurt more in the future. The face that seemed troubled and sad, contrary to the words saying let’s stop here, let’s not meet anymore. The eyes that had flinched and trembled when he’d asked if he couldn’t call even if he had nightmares.

It wasn’t the kind of reaction that could be explained away by simply not being his type or feeling burdened by a sudden confession. It might just be his imagination, but… Yoon Gawon looked like he was pushing him away because he ‘had to.’

“Ha… but what is that reason? What the hell.”

Ki Joon raised both hands and clasped his head. Then he pounded his head with his large fists, thump, thump.

When faced with adversity, he breaks through. If something holds him back, he shakes it off; if something blocks him, he knocks it down. The way Ki Joon had always dealt with problems was refreshingly simple.

But this problem, the first of its kind he’d encountered, was different. His feelings for Yoon Gawon were like a fever. Soaking him completely, making him groan, and causing his body to burn. Since there was no tangible entity to strike down no matter how much he swung his fists, Ki Joon could only be helplessly at its mercy.

It was frustrating. Holding onto an answer without even knowing the cause felt only bewildering. But having decided to dive into the fever, Ki Joon had to endure it. He had to somehow find an answer within the delirium clouding his consciousness. He had to somehow find a way to win back that kid’s heart.

Ki Joon opened his eyes with a composed expression. He carelessly swept back his damp hair with a palm where the sweat had cooled.

Through a small window, he could see the hyungs engrossed in training. Suddenly, Yoon Gawon’s voice, promising to come to his match, came to mind.

“…”

That promise from back then… it probably won’t be kept, after all.

He’d tried a bit of a line, saying he’d be so, so happy if Yoon Gawon came to cheer for him, wipe his sweat, and give him water.

Recalling that, a faint smile escaped him. Wanting to put the flustered Yoon Gawon at ease in front of the restaurant, he’d made up a jinx he didn’t even have. He’d added a little personal ulterior motive to it too, though.

Still, he wanted to win. He had to win. Whether Yoon Gawon came or not, it was the first match that kid had promised to come to. The weight was different from usual, when there was only the pure desire to fight and win.

With a quietly settled expression, Ki Joon took a firm step forward. He pushed open the training hall door and stepped inside. His eyes, once full of worry, were now clear and distinct.

∞ ∞ ∞

Gawon trudged out of the main building and headed toward the library. His mood and his appearance were both a mess.

Before entering the study room, he stopped by the faucet first. After roughly brushing off his bag, covered in footprints, he took out a wet wipe and carefully cleaned it. Then he took off his school jacket and wiped off all the soiled parts, and finally washed his hands.

How long had this day been. Haa… A sigh laced with weariness escaped him.

It had been a while since Heo Yeonggyu had started trouble. The reason for the sudden outburst from a guy who’d been quiet as a mouse for over a month was obvious. He was, as always, laughably predictable.

‘That’s the end of morning assembly. Ah, starting today, Ki Joon will be absent for three days due to training.’

Ever since the homeroom teacher had said exactly that yesterday, Heo Yeonggyu had been strutting around in full force. His childish and base pranks had continued from yesterday through today. Gawon had to experience the feeling of being drenched in filth for the first time in a long while.

During breaks, he’d unfailingly come to Gawon, tapping and harassing him. If Gawon didn’t respond, he’d pull his ears or hair and giggle. At lunchtime, he’d be dragged behind the building and made to stand for an hour among the guys smoking.

But what was worse than anything was something else.

“Hey, that big tree-like bastard hasn’t been acting up lately?”

A senior, blowing a long stream of smoke in Gawon’s face, laughed gleefully. He was one of those who had shown up out of nowhere and hit Ki Joon. Heo Yeonggyu answered with a nasty grin.

“Ah, thanks to you, senior. He’s not even coming to school, says he’s going for training or some fucking shit.”

“Fucking shit. He’s probably just scoping out the timing to drop out from embarrassment.”

“You don’t think that thing about him messing up Gwangyeomgo is a lie, do you? When we beat him, he was so scared he couldn’t do anything. Just a total pushover.”

“Probably just a rumor. He’s been lying low like a mouse ever since.”

Heo Yeonggyu’s group and the seniors all laughed together. Gawon learned the whole story of what had happened that day, right there on the spot. Heo Yeonggyu had been providing them with the money they needed, and after being paid a considerable sum, those human scum thugs had come to find Ki Joon, a complete stranger, and beaten him up at Heo Yeonggyu’s request.

“Hey, you fucking bastard. You like sucking up to that pathetic pushover, don’t you?”

One of the seniors said mockingly, tapping Gawon’s temple with his finger. Each time he pushed, Gawon’s head tilted. Gawon, eyes lowered, endured and endured until he heard the bell signaling the end of lunch. This kind of thing will pass anyway.

“Let’s go.”

In their wake, only dirty phlegm and cigarette butts remained. Gawon, who had been standing silently with strength in his eyes, patted his smoke-covered uniform. His cheek, which had been struck a couple of times like a joke, was stinging.

And so he spent yesterday and today in a mess. Even this tedious, exhausting day was drawing to a close. Gawon, bathed in the sunlight that had begun to slant, stepped into the library. The second-floor study room was almost empty. It was natural, since midterms had ended the day before yesterday.

Even if his mind was in turmoil and a mess, he had to study. There was only studying he could hold onto as an escape from his distracting thoughts. He opened his math workbook first. In his experience, solving math problems was most helpful when he had a lot on his mind.

For an hour, he solved problems mechanically. After completing today’s quota, he immediately took out his earphones to do English listening without a break. Straining all his nerves on the flowing sentences was also a way to forget his thoughts.

Another hour passed, and Gawon, like a man possessed, took out his Korean language workbook this time. He didn’t even realize it was strange that he’d been studying like a robot for almost two hours without a single pause.

He opened the literature section and picked up the mechanical pencil he’d set down. With lowered eyes, Gawon read the poem at the very top.

One face

With two palms

Though I cover it fully,

The feeling of missing you

Is so vast as a lake,

So I can only close my eyes.

The hand holding the pencil stopped dead in midair.

He blinked a couple of times, trying to shake off the stray thoughts. He read the question starting with ‘Regarding the speaker’s intention among (a) and (b) below…’ and examined the passage line by line.

He read it to the end, then went back to the beginning and read it again. He knew well that the difficulty of the question was on the easier side. Yet Gawon’s gaze wandered as if solving a problem in a foreign language he didn’t know.

“…Haa….”

In the end, he had no choice but to put the pencil down.

It was probably because he was overheated. Pushing through when he was like this would only lower efficiency. Gawon got up from his seat, opened the study room door, and stepped out. The empty hallway was cold, and somehow made him feel a little sad.

He didn’t really have anywhere to go, but he stepped outside to air out his suffocating chest. Darkness had already settled over the schoolyard. In the distance, he could see some kids playing basketball. He plopped down on a nearby bench and took out his phone.