#61

 

‘I’ve never done that.’

 

Before I transmigrated into Seong Chan-young, I was definitely living at home after being discharged from the hospital. If not as much as the average person, I no longer had to be hospitalized in a boring hospital in search of normal health.

 

However this dream was so weird. All the elements that fill the dream were so vivid.

 

Just like what I have seen and heard.

 

“This is just a dream.”

 

I ran away from my family, who were helplessly stretched out with an oxygen respirator. Wherever this is, I hope this nightmare will be broken somehow.

 

“Huck, huck.”

 

No matter how much I ran away, the dream was not over. The endless continuation of the hallway in the hospital room gave me a tremendous fear.

 

It’s as if this space was saying that you won’t be able to get out of here for the rest of your life, so I tried to get out more desperately.

 

Then someone grabbed me by the wrist.

 

“Oh my!”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Who, who….”

 

I was scared to look back at the person who caught me in a panic.

 

But I was surprised that the face of the person who grabbed me belonged to someone so familiar.

 

Light brown hair and eyes, and a mole under the right eye.

 

“………….Seong Chan-young?”

 

“Hello, Go Yeo-eun.”

 

My heart skipped a beat.

 

It was the first time I heard my real name since I transmigrated into the novel.

 

Is Seong Chan-young really dead?

 

Even if it was a dream, how would he know my name? We’ve never met. We couldn’t have met.

 

In the midst of confusion, the strange dream did not end. I was still trapped in the dream.

 

“Come on. This is where you’re supposed to be, isn’t it?”

 

“No, it’s not…”

 

I felt suffocated. I hated the hospital room.

 

I couldn’t even scream because of the unspeakable pain in my heart. Like the days I was sick. The sense turned the field of vision black.

 

⚝ ⚝ ⚝

 

Chairman Seong, who was not afraid of anything, recently had more things hitting his chest.

 

“Director Kim, I think I made another mistake.”

 

[What’s the matter, Chairman? After Lululala, happily going down to where young master Chan-young lived while packing a load of tonic.]

 

“If Chan-young is trying to be nice to you out of pity, don’t do it, Bok-dol ah.”

 

[You used honorifics because I was the hospital director, but now I’m just Bok-dol, huh? Stick to only one. Anyway, did you succeed?]

 

“Uh….”

 

His attempts to get along with his grandson, Chan-young, did not turn out well.

 

When he invited Chan-young to my parents’ house, he didn’t know that he was allergic to seafood. When he was admitted to the hospital, he was hesitant and missed the timing, and the misunderstanding only grew.

 

‘It’s similar this time.’

 

The alphas who followed Chan-young in the past, now changed their position and followed Chan-young. He thought Chan-young would like it if he blocked it, so he came down recklessly, but he had hurt him again.

 

– You’re all mistaken that it’s time for me to die, right?

 

The words stabbed his heart like a lever, but he didn’t know Chan-young would have such wounded eyes. Only then did Chairman Seong realize that he had done wrong.

 

Before expressing his frustration to Chan-young, he had to look at how his grandson was cleaning up his wounds.

 

‘That was what I had to do as an adult who didn’t give him proper affection.’

 

Tears came from Chairman Sung’s deep eyes. Kim Bok-dol, his attending physician, sighed at the sound of crying over the phone.

 

[I know it’s frustrating, but let’s be honest, you turned towards Chan-young out of compassion and guilt at first.]

 

“…….”

 

I had nothing to say. Chairman Seong thought so, too.

 

Before that, he had affection for my grandson, but he thought it would be enough if he provided enough financial support.

 

It was only after Chan-young vowed to die that he realized that what he really needed was intimate affection, but after decades of awkwardness, it was frustrating to keep repeating mistakes and hurting him.

 

‘Bok-dol is right. And Chan-young must have been more frustrated than me.’

 

If he hadn’t seen his grandson, Chan-young, make a drastic change as if he were seriously ill somewhere, Chairman Seong would not have paid attention to Chan-young.

 

Regardless of where the grumpy grandson caused another accident, all he had to do was order his subordinates to take care of it on their own.

 

And it would have been a relationship that would have forever deviated and drawn parallel lines.

 

‘Chan-young saw through it and was serious about it.’

 

Aside from the truth about whether it really hurts or not, it was something that should not be done to Chan-young. Sympathy raised Chairman Seong’s guilt, who had thought he hadn’t paid much attention to his grandson. It was absurd to suddenly pretend to be affectionate to resolve the guilt.

 

The core part of the praise has not changed. As soon as his pride was touched, he ran as if he was going to get bitten.

 

‘And I was the same.’

 

He still remembered what Chan-young had said before.

 

– What does that grandpa know so much about me? You don’t know anything.

 

“……I was wrong.”

 

He never tried to know properly, never really tried to understand Chan-young, but he moved forward to narrow the gap between his grandchildren unconditionally.

 

He was ashamed that he had only now realized how burdensome it must have been after hearing Chan-young’s cold words.

 

[It’s okay since you acknowledged it.]

 

“It shouldn’t end with this. If you realize your mistake, you have to fix it so that you can move on.”

 

[You don’t have to say it. You have to do it yourself. That’s the basics.]

 

“No friend has ever stood by me, tsk.”

 

[I’m on Chan-young’s side. You’re not lacking anything, but he is.]

 

His friend’s words shot like arrows and penetrated Chairman Seong’s heart. That was right. Although Chan-young was full of material abundance, he lacked mental satisfaction.

 

He had to be thankful that he had a chance to look back on the heart of a child who had been torn apart and devastated.

 

‘If Chan-young succeeded in attempting suicide…….’

 

Just imagining that made his back shook with chills. Even if he hugged the body of his grandson who had already died and shouted “I’m sorry,” his heart wouldn’t reach the person who had already left.

 

Chan-young’s suicide attempts were said to be several times. Chairman Seong almost lost his grandson in vain several times.

 

‘I must not let that happen again.’

 

What Chairman Seong wanted was Chan-young’s happiness. He could do anything to listen to it.

 

“But I don’t know what to do, Bok-dol ah.”

 

Rather, it felt easier to discuss which company’s stock should be bought more in the stock market tomorrow. He was not sure how to melt his grandson’s frozen heart.

 

[If you don’t know, ask the young master.]

 

“Can I? I think he’ll get even angrier. Even now, he was disappointed in me and went into his room.”

 

[That’s why you have to work harder. You regretted not holding him in the hospital.]

 

“……yes, I did.”

 

Chairman Seong regretted not running straight from the hospital. At that time, he told his friend that he couldn’t approach him for Chan-young, but that was an excuse.

 

‘The real reason must have been so that I wouldn’t be hurt.’

 

He was afraid that if he held Chan-young, he would be told why he did it. He thought that fear was an emotion that he had thrown away while trying to get rid of the enemies he faced until he reached this age, but it wasn’t the case.

 

The family, who should have been the closest, ran away because they were afraid that they would distance themselves from Chairman Seong.

 

And the result? Chan-young went down to the countryside thinking that his grandfather had abandoned him. Like there was no place for him, like he couldn’t stand it anymore.

 

[This time, approach him honestly. Put down your pride as a chairman. Just admit as a grandfather that you were bad at trying to get along with your grandson and ask him what to do.]

 

“Is that enough?”

 

[Oh, there’s nothing more certain than that.]

 

“I see…”

 

[Cheer up. You can do it. You can make it if you can make the best company.]

 

The call ended with words of support. Chairman Seong walked firmly and carefully approached Chan-young’s closed door.

 

“Chan-young ah, it’s your grandfather. Are you alright?”

 

“…….”

 

The awkward words were meant to contain the courage that had barely been shown, but no answer was heard inside.

 

“A while ago, I…… It’s my fault. As a grandfather, I wanted to compensate you for what I’ve been indifferent to at once, so I went too far.”

 

“…….”

 

Even though he couldn’t hear an answer, Chairman Seong went on alone. He didn’t know if it’s for him, but the alphas who live in Chan-young’s house stayed still without showing up.

 

‘At least they know how to keep the courtesy of old things.’

 

Although it was invisible without microscopic observation, Chairman Seong’s weak fondness for the alphas burst into his mind.

 

“It’s all true that I sympathized with you and felt guilty. But that’s not all there is to it now. I truly want you to be happy, and I want to do anything for you for that.”

 

So if you could tell me what I can do for you, I’d be very happy with this allowance.

 

“…….”

 

“I know it will be sudden. As much as you haven’t been in the right environment, don’t wait for me. You don’t have to answer. It’s up to you to decide when you want to answer.”

 

Having said that, Chairman Seong felt both cool and empty at the same time, as if his chest had been let open. It was difficult to tell the truth, but after speaking, it couldn’t have been better.

 

Chan-young’s room was still as quiet as death. Did he fall asleep already? Chairman Seong was determined to let Chan-young hear his confession again if he had not heard it.

 

“Kung! Kung Kung!”

 

Suddenly, general began to bark. He barked violently and went past Chairman Seong to Chan-young’s door, scratching the door and struggling to open it.

 

“Kung kung kung kung!”

 

“What’s the matter. Did you detect something happened to your master?”

 

“Kung!”

 

The sense of the animal was more powerful than that of the human. Chairman Seong also opened his natural sense of Dominant Alpha and focused on Chan-young beyond the door. The same was true of any possible pheromone measurement.

 

“……!”

 

“Kung Kung!”

 

“Chan-young ah, open the door!”

 

“Oh, my God!”

 

Chan-young’s breath was faintly heard through the door. He gasped like a strangled man.

 

I need to save it right away. Chairman Seong’s head turned in a precarious situation.

 

“Chan-young!”

 

BANG!

 

The grandfather, who could not let his grandson fall into pain twice, eventually smashed the door and ran to Chan-young.