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Author: NeroLotus

On the 27-inch screen, used as both a computer monitor and TV, the year-end awards ceremony came to an end. The dazzlingly colorful lighting illuminated the leading actors in the drama who were nominated for the grand prize for acting, one by one. Among the male actors in typical tuxedos, one appeared on the screen.

With clear eyes and fair skin, his soft brown hair was illuminated and shone brightly. In an instant, a man with a captivating presence that made the actors around him seem ordinary squinted his eyes and smiled radiantly. His perfect face looked brilliant from any angle, as if specially illuminated for him. The fans’ cheers sounded like they would pierce through the speakers.

The name of a man was called out by an older actor who came out to present the award. The camera zoomed in on the male actor. The host couldn’t proceed right away due to the louder and longer cheers from the fans. The male actor stood up and lightly hugged the actress who was also called. Heading towards the stage, he had a larger presence than the nearby stage manager. His broad shoulders and open chest gave him an athletic appearance, unlike his soft exterior.

The man who surpassed veteran performers and won the grand prize was only in his late twenties. The drama he appeared in was exported worldwide, marking a milestone in K-drama. As a result, the filming location had become a tourist attraction, including a secluded rural bus stop. It was an achievement that couldn’t be ignored.

Yoon Do-young, while receiving congratulations from his colleagues, stepped onto the awards ceremony stage looking somewhat embarrassed. In the middle of the spotlight, he held the grand prize trophy in his hands. Kang Hyun’s sharp gaze, fixed on the rectangular screen, focused on the glittering golden trophy.

That was my role. It was a web drama with 12 episodes. However, when the role was changed to Yoon Do-young, the production cost increased 20-fold, and the series was extended to 24 episodes. Furthermore, it was scheduled for prime time on terrestrial TV, not just a web drama. With just one appearance, he had gained such tremendous power, leaving an award-winning impression with a deep voice.

“Thank you very much to the staff for considering me for this role.”

What he said echoed in his ears, leaving a sharp impact in his mind.

The officials from the production company praised me, saying that the character was a perfect fit for me. Perhaps they praised Yoon Do-young even more. They must have praised and congratulated him on his international filming. Maybe Yoon Do-young knelt down and expressed gratitude for accepting this role.

“I would also like to express my sincere gratitude to the agency boss for actively promoting this role.”

As he spoke, I knew in my head that the role had been changed at the request of investors. However, despite my awareness, it hurt deep inside my chest. No, it tore me apart. To soothe my heart, I drank a lot of beer.

“I dedicate this award to my best friend, Kang Hyun.”

Yoon Do-young’s eyes on the screen were gently squinted. His soft gaze seemed to melt my heart. Normally, I would have smiled at that smile, but Kang Hyun’s expression remained unchanged as he stared at the rectangular monitor. His eyes seemed even colder and more distant due to his cold and indifferent expression.

A prize dedicated to me…

What does that even mean? Why? Why are you giving me credit for the award?

Kang Hyun’s eyes, filled with contemplation, grew wider. A faint smile emerged from his slightly twisted mouth.

Did you really believe that?

Did you truly believe that playing that role made it impossible for me to succeed?

When I heard the boss say that the role was given to someone else, I held back my sorrowful emotions. I didn’t want to show how devastated I felt because you didn’t even know that I played that role. I was careful and didn’t tell anyone until we started filming.

Perhaps…

Because you never considered what I had to say.

Because you always believed everything I said.

The wrinkles between Kang Hyun’s eyebrows deepened as he continued staring at the monitor. The corner of his eye, which had once been filled with determination, turned red. The beer can in his hand crumpled under pressure. Yoon Do-young’s dazzling smile continued to shine brightly on the square monitor reflected in his eyes.

I picked up the remote control and turned off the screen.

Beer overflowed from the dented can. The foamy liquid trickled down the back of my hand. Kang Hyun, still fixated on the figure on the screen, stood up from his seat.

The small room of about 10 pyeong felt suffocating as he moved around. His slim body seemed to have long legs in comparison to his tall height. Passing by the gray-colored single bed and desk-side dining table, he walked towards a small sink. He poured the beer down the drain, turned on the cold water, and washed his hands and face.

T/N: For those who don’t know, ‘pyeong’ is a Korean unit of area and floorspace, equal to a square kan or 36 square Korean feet. 

The cold water helped cool down his head, which had been burning hot. Kang Hyun leaned against the sink’s wall, staring into empty space. He took slow breaths, calming his emotions.

The world is a structure where certain people have everything from the start. It never made sense for someone like me to take on a leading role in the first place. Even being a supporting role is a form of virtue.

By performing regardless of the given role, I can showcase my acting skills and find recognition when I reach middle age. A supporting role within the acting community. Wasn’t that the title I aimed for?

Kang Hyun suppressed his emotions and focused on his reasoning as much as possible. He walked back to the table, turned on the lamp, and sat on a chair, opening the script for his new drama. His role was that of the male lead’s sister. Although it had fewer lines, the character had depth. It was a role that would complement the lead character, exchanging lines with Yeoju and Tiki.

A fluorescent line was drawn on his script. He recited the lines with the appropriate expressions, but he struggled to concentrate, even though it was just a few lines. He slapped himself on the cheek to snap out of it. The stinging sensation helped him regain focus, and he immersed himself in the script.

The day slipped away as he read through the script. Going through it repeatedly, he began carefully reading the lines of the other characters from the first chapter. Kang Hyun’s eyes, which had initially struggled to focus, gradually became serious. His lips moved, reciting the lines, and his expression changed accordingly.

The role that he liked resonated with him. He engaged with the character’s hand gestures, and then his phone rang. Kang Hyun’s expression froze, no longer displaying his usual calm demeanor. Even after changing his smartphone a few years ago, he still used the ringtone set by Yoon Do-young. Kang Hyun stared at the caller’s name in silence.

In the darkness, the three letters “Yoon Do-young” stood out prominently. The ringing had continued for a while before stopping, and the notification sound echoed through the silent house.

The smartphone’s screen flashed, revealing a message that disappeared in an instant.

Yoon Do-young: Hyun, I’m in front of your house.

After a moment, the sound of a rustic doorbell rang. There was also a light knock on the door. Kang Hyun’s gaze shifted towards the front door. Yoon Do-young, standing outside the gate, glanced at the consecutive messages that had arrived.

Yoon Do-young: We didn’t even have an after-party. Where are you? I miss you.

The last sentence wavered with uncertainty. The anger that had been building up in Kang Hyun’s mind until now subsided, replaced by a heavy feeling in his chest. The emotions that had momentarily pushed reason aside blurred his judgment.

After hesitating for a moment, he lifted his smartphone. It was Yoon Do-young, known as an acting genius since his days as a child actor. In simple terms, his acting was flawless. He captivated viewers’ hearts in romantic dramas. If I had played that role, I wouldn’t have felt like I owned the world.

I acknowledge it.

As fellow actors, I admire his performance. The character you portrayed in the drama made my heart race, and I waited eagerly for your call throughout the day.

I can’t bear to keep drawing a line between reality and drama.

Kang Hyun’s finger hovered over the smartphone keypad.

Kang Hyun: I watched the awards ceremony.

Kang Hyun: Of course, I knew you would win. Congratulations.

This was the last courtesy I could extend as an old friend.

Yoon Do-young: Where are you? I want to meet.

He stared at the response that came immediately. Heat surged through his trembling eyes. His lips trembled along with his teary eyes.

The mixed emotions he had been feeling flowed through his fingertips. He had to clear his mind and not let his wavering emotions take over. With determination, he pressed the keys on his smartphone.

Kang Hyun: In a hotel with my lover.

There was no reply. In the eerily quiet studio, the only sound was the humming of the refrigerator. The smartphone’s screen automatically turned off, and Kang Hyun’s attention turned back to the script.

Under the lamp’s light, the unfolded script didn’t progress despite the passing hours. He read it aloud, holding his chin with one hand and tracing the lines with his fingertips. He finally reached the end of a page, and though progress was slow, he continued, reading through each page. Stretching, he felt the faint light seeping through the cracks in the blackout curtains.

Realizing that he needed to sleep, he turned on his smartphone and played the sleep music he always listened to. With earphones in his ears, he made his way to bed when a notification brought important news.

“Yoon Do-young hospitalized due to a car accident.”

“Best actor Yoon Do-young injured in hotel lobby collision with Jung Kyung-sang.”

“World star Yoon Do-young was involved in a car accident.”

Kang Hyun, reading the inundation of news articles, rushed out of the house as if his body was propelled by an unseen force. Tears streamed down his face as he ran to the side of the road, desperately trying to hail a taxi.

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