At the End of That Memory Chapter 28

I didn’t want to abuse my privileges. Nothing was more foolish than rejecting the generosity he had shown me to quench an unquenchable need. My father forced me to steal, and even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn’t make a deal with reality.

“…Ha.”

My father laughed and stumbled for a time. I tried to help him up instinctively, but I couldn’t because I was violently shaken off. As I paused and took a step back, my father talked as if he was chewing on something.

“A guy who can’t even attract an Alpha and can’t even get pregnant, can you even do anything properly anymore?”

I bit my molars gently. It was quite an insult, but I wasn’t surprised. I’d known for a long time about my father’s opinion of me.

“…I will formally discuss the terms of negotiation with Mr. Kwon Yido.”

All I could think of was this. No, it was still information that had been given to me previously, therefore I was considering properly asking it this time. He did not provide it to me on his own but in exchange for a formal contract.

“I will ask for the materials promised in advance…”

“Can’t you shut your mouth?”

My father yelled and hurled the USB drive he was holding on the ground. As if that weren’t enough to make him feel better, he trampled on it with his shoe. He was groaning and puffing, gritting his teeth and blinking.

“Do you think I’ll just hand you over to that bastard?”

“…”

“If I thought I was going to hand you over, I would have given you away a long time ago. That bastard has no intention of keeping his promise. He was trying to eat us and throw us away!”

My father continued to yell, his eyes going crimson. He approached me, gripped my shoulder tightly, and spoke each syllable with power.

“Do you think I sent you there just to listen to such nonsense? If you tell that bastard about the data, then he won’t hide it even more, right?”

I was the one surprised by the tremendous reaction. I was aware of my father’s anxiety, but I couldn’t understand why he became so enraged when I told him I’d talk to him first. Isn’t it clear that he is attempting to keep me from telling Kwon Yido about it?

“What, Chairman Kwon Byeongwook passed away?”

“…”

“There is more than one person who has seen that old man running around. Do you think the Alpha, who is still running around messing around, will die that easily?”

Did Kwon Yido lie to me? Of course, Kwon Byeongwook, who turned 85 this year, was not going to go around messing around.

“What are you going to do if our company dies before then?”

“Father.”

For a brief period, I could see disgust in his eyes. When I addressed him in this manner, he immediately showed his displeasure. His genuine sentiments were evident whenever he played such a caring father, but he changed as soon as he determined I was useless.

“…Companies don’t collapse that easily.”

So I blurted out exactly what I thought without realizing it. It was something I would never say under normal circumstances, and it was so insolent that my father got furious.

“Even if we solve the problem in this way, it will end up being the same unless we root out the cause. If the system had been turned upside down by removing one system, it would not have collapsed to this extent. You know that nothing will change unless you change the outdated management method.”

My father was mostly responsible for Haeshin Financial Group’s demise. They buried innumerable managerial corruption and were only concerned with what was in front of them, failing to see long-term losses. Although there were numerous possibilities to change, didn’t we end up here by going round and round in the hope of finding an easier way?

“Rather, if you look at it from afar, it would be better not to turn your back on Kwon Yido…”

Thud! A sharp bursting sound rang out. My head turned to the right, and my still body stumbled for a moment. My vision, which had become bright white, hovered around the edge of the floor, unable to remain fixed.

“How dare you tell me what to do, huh?”

It sounded like I had ringing in my ears. As if I’d fallen under the ocean, my father’s voice was muted. What if I had experienced a concussion? The sensation of my eyes swirling in front of my eyes was strange.

“So now, you want me to cling to that bastard like a rat?”

I stared blankly into space, oblivious to what had occurred to me. After a while, I felt a searing pain in my left face. I could also detect the fishy flavor of blood on my thin lips. Every time I blinked once or twice, the distant sensation of reality gradually returned to me.

“…”

I was slapped. Nobody else but my father. For that reason, I dared to criticize him.

All the pain came to me unexpectedly the instant I discovered it. Not only the cheek but also things like an inappropriately bitten tongue or shredded flesh inside the mouth. Or the acute nausea that accompanied the tightening in my solar plexus.

“Useless bastard…”

My mouth was filled with blood-stained saliva. I wanted to spit it down my throat, but the nausea made it impossible. My heart was racing and aching as if something was going to burst.

“I picked something like you up for no reason.”

When I slowly raised my gaze, I saw dull eyes. The look in his eyes was as if he was looking at a rock hitting his toes, without the slightest hint of emotion.

“Understand the topic, understand the topic. They say even animals know the grace that raised them, so why are you always like that? If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be alive…Do you know anything about management since you were born rolling on the street?”

Yes, I thought that was correct. If it weren’t for my father, I would have died in the cold falling snow. Instead of being slapped here and there, I would have become as insignificant as a stone lying on the street.

“I don’t even want to see you, so get out of here. We won’t be seeing each other for a while.”

But why do I feel so wrong even though I know this? Why did my heart break so much at everything my father said?

“…I’ll take my leave.”

I bowed low and left the Chairman’s office. My father didn’t say any greetings to me until just before the door closed. That fact didn’t make me sad; instead, it made me question many things.

‘Useless bastard… 

I wanted to ask. What is the reason for my existence? Am I just a piece of chess that my father has? So what on earth should we do with our lives now that even that usefulness has disappeared?

* * *

I took the stairs down from the tall building because I was scared I would run into someone if I took the elevator. My body slanted to one side a couple of times, but I was able to avoid trouble by holding on to the railing. Fortunately, by the time I reached the first floor, the discomfort in my left cheek had greatly lessened.

“…”

Chief Kim, who was standing near the building, saw me and said nothing. He simply opened the car door and raced away, as he always did, without saying anything. When he returned, he was clutching a little convenience store bag.

“…What is this?”

The bag appeared cool, and it turned out to be ice cream in a large packet. It was a blue plastic lid with a snowflake drawn on it and the word ‘milkshake’ written on it. I smiled thinly as I watched him silently tighten his seatbelt.

“It’s not the weather for ice cream yet…”

I guess this was probably the only thing that immediately came to mind. I held the ice cream in both hands and carefully placed it on my swollen left cheek.

“Thank you. I will eat well.”

“…Yes.”

Chief Kim was also terrible at masking his emotions at times like this. It would have been simple to shrug it off, but he was holding a lot of power between his brows. My mood improved as the eyes in the rearview mirror became more serious.

Chief Kim didn’t say anything else until he got home. Meanwhile, the ice cream melted as I stared blankly out the car window at the surroundings. Normally, I’d be thinking about a variety of things, but today I couldn’t think of anything.

I was just concerned about having supper with Kwon Yido. It would have been nice if my puffy cheeks had dropped by then, but that seemed improbable. My skin was extremely sensitive, and even minor injuries made it stand out. As a result, when I removed my garments, the markings left by Kwon Yido remained.

Would you believe me if I told you that I fell?

He might not have cared that much. We got along, but we were further apart than before. Although we ate together as usual, the time we spent talking after dinner had disappeared.

“…I’ll see you later then.”

Chief Kim opened his car door in front of the gate and stood still for a long time. He seemed to have a lot of things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t seem to get anything out of his mouth. I wish I had told him it was okay. Unfortunately, I didn’t have that time left.

“Please go in carefully.”

I said just one word, left him behind, and rang the doorbell. I’d been in this house for so long, but this was my first time going through the front door. I was holding melted ice cream in my hand and my left cheek was swollen.

Squeak, the front door opened. Chief Kim still had not gotten into the car. It bothered me enough to make the back of my head sting, but I was trying to pretend not to notice and took a step forward.

“…Young master.”

I felt a sense of déjà vu. When was it? Was it the day of the engagement ceremony? Just like the time he called me the moment the paper door opened left and right.

“When you go in, apply medicine first.”

It was amusing that the only thing he said was that he was worried. The most ludicrous thing, of course, was that I stopped walking when I heard those words. I thought it was nothing, but I think I was just pretending not to be persuaded by a single phrase.

I purposefully avoided saying I knew. I just kept walking till I came to the gate. But as soon as I saw the wide-open garden, a thought struck me.

“…”

It felt like I’d returned home. I felt welcomed, much as when Kwon Yido brought me home from my officetel one day as if this gorgeous estate was a refuge where I had spent my entire life.

I walked along the stone walkway, admiring the well-kept garden. I went for a walk after lunch every day when I went to the greenhouse.

It was a location I had visited numerous times. The gardener tended to the well-kept lawn early in the morning, and birds occasionally flew around.

Should I say it is peaceful? Everything that happened today seemed surreal. Although I could still hear the wind in my ears, it might have been an illusion that would fade if I opened my eyes.

First and foremost, I intended to try to sleep. I determined to take as many sleeping tablets as possible and sleep peacefully as if nothing had happened. It was fine to have nightmares, therefore I needed to get away from this reality first.

But everything went wrong the moment I walked into the house and up to the second floor. The door to my room. Someone standing nearby looked at me and began speaking.

“Did you arrive just now?”

“…”

Kwon Yido was standing in front of the door, dressed the same as in the morning. Like someone standing against the wall and waiting for me no matter who saw him. I saw him going to work, and there wasn’t even an inch of disarray in his neatly dressed suit.

“Why here…”

I blinked blankly, making eye contact with him. Then, when I saw his dark eyes harden, I had to reflexively lower my head. Oh, it’s ruined. With that thought, a frighteningly cold voice pierced my ears.

“Raise your head.”

“…”

Shocked, my shoulders shook. I tried to pass him by pretending not to notice, but Kwon Yido was faster than me. He approached me with great strides violently grabbed my chin and forced my head up.

“…”

“…”

He smelled of wood. Heavy and quiet pheromones flowed out as if they were about to devour me. Was it because he reacted more sensitively after engaging with him, or because he was bursting at the seams with emotions he couldn’t contain? In any case, the atmosphere was oppressively dense and suffocating.

“Jung Sejin.”

After a while, he called my name in a very suppressed voice. He asked with frighteningly cold eyes.

“Who did this?”

I was thinking of answering that it was no big deal. However, it seems that Kwon Yido’s patience did not last very long.

“I asked which bastard did this to you”

I felt like my jaw was hurting from where he was holding it. It wasn’t that strong, but the area where Kwon Yido’s hand touched felt hot. I forced myself to avoid his gaze and spoke as calmly as possible.

“…I fell on the street.”

Even though I think about it, I know it was a ridiculous answer. I just hoped that he would get away with this excuse. Of course, Kwon Yido spoke clearly without changing his expression.

“I asked a stupid question. I already know who Jung Sejin was seeing.”

He let go of my chin and pressed his index finger across my swollen cheek. When I flinched and grimaced, he quickly removed his hand. I slowly closed and opened my eyes, and he was delicately touching my ear.

“I don’t know when his palms became the streets…”

“… ”

“But if you’re going to fool me, you shouldn’t have shown me this face.”

The hand that touched my ear’s shell moved to the corner of my eye. He didn’t see anything, but he softly touched the corner of his eye with his thumb. He threw his arms around my back and pulled me into his embrace, speaking quietly.

“Don’t cry, Sejin.”

“…”

My eyes welled up with tears as soon as I heard those words. Every time I blinked, the tears ran down my cheeks faster and faster. I had no idea when I became this way, but the unfinished anguish kept pouring out of me.

‘Don’t tarnish your father’s face.’

“…Sniffle.”

It would make a difference if I did well. Whether it was my personality, this world, or those within my family’s fence. I believed that if I worked a little more and didn’t point out my flaws, things would improve one day.

So I tried everything I could think of. My grades were always excellent, and I was never caught nodding off in class. I always played the part of a cherished son, even if it was disguised as humility to those around me. When someone complimented me, I never neglected to mention that it was all because of my father.

‘After all, he is my son.’

The lovely remarks that came back felt like fresh rain to my parched heart. Even though I knew those were hollow words, I was desperate for affection, as if it were a desire. I wanted to hear the word “son,” so I played my part to the T, even if it meant killing someone.

“Ha…”

I wanted to be loved. More specifically, I wanted to have a family. Even if only duty remained in the end, I couldn’t let go of the comfort of brief satisfaction.

However, some things in the world remained unchanged no matter how hard you tried. Just like not having pheromones didn’t turn me into a Beta, being in the same house didn’t turn me into their genuine family. My father’s adoration for me was so meaningless that it vanished with just a few words.

‘Sejin got married.’

Should I be thankful for the chance to have another family? The result was a hostage-like marriage. He ended up accomplishing the aim he set for himself when he brought me here. I, who had been mercilessly driven away, wound up in Kwon Yido’s arms.

“…Ugh.”

I couldn’t tell you what was so sad about it. Was it because of the place that hurt, or because I wanted to make a fool of myself? The warmth of the extended embrace destroyed my heart, and I could not breathe as tears streamed down my cheeks.

He held me for a long time as I cried silently. The awkward hand caressing my back provided more comfort than 10 sentences. The pheromones were completely affectionate toward me.