At the End of That Memory Chapter 29

When spring comes, there are the first things that change. For example, a weed sprouting from the barren ground or a flower bud sprouting from a barren tree branch. A time when the coldness in the gently blowing wind dissipates and the night that came early gradually becomes late.

The cherry blossom season was only getting started when the wedding took place. I required a coat at night, and the wind left a cold sensation on the tip of my nose. The promenade I walked with Kwon Yido was likewise an unforgettable memory for me.

A month and a half later. In the blink of an eye, the seasons shifted. Flowers I’d never seen before began to blossom one by one in the initially brilliant garden. The weather had improved to the point that you could set up a table in the garden and enjoy tea without having to go to the greenhouse.

“The weather has cleared up a lot.”

Looking up at the beautiful sky beyond the greenhouse ceiling, I spoke. The staff today offered iris tea, which was as transparent as jade in hue. I didn’t mind taking a drink because it had a little sweet fragrance.

Lee Taeseong gave me an unconvincing response, “Yes, I see.” I’m guessing he loved this novel because his eyes were soon drawn to it. I was about to drink some tea to avoid disturbing him when he abruptly raised his head.

“…Is the main character dying?”

“…”

Pftt, I laughed. Should I call it an imprint effect? It seemed that the first book I gave him was too strong. Every time he read a new book, I saw a worried expression on his face.

“He won’t die.”

When I answered clearly, he lowered his head with a sigh of relief. This time, he seemed to be immersed, so I looked up at the greenhouse ceiling again as it was far away. The clouds visible through the transparent glass were truly peaceful.

‘Useless bastard…’

“…”

That was already a week ago.

It occurred to me that time flies by in so many different ways. Humans are adaptable beings, and even feelings that appear to be hopeless can eventually improve. Everything that appeared to be on the verge of collapsing was kept intact.

‘Don’t cry, Sejin.’

I cried in Kwon Yido’s arms that day after returning from being slapped by my father. Even when I was younger, I had never cried like this. As if wounded by something, I let out all the emotions I had been holding in. Kwon Yido hugged me patiently, and he didn’t say anything until I stopped crying.

‘Why did you do that?’

His gaze was full of many suppressed emotions. Worry, regret, or slight anger. Kwon Yido, as he always showed, also seemed to be kind in his way.

I was glad I didn’t hand over the USB. I had that thought for just a moment. If I had handed over the materials, I would not have had the confidence to meet Kwon Yido like this.

‘…I don’t really want to have it.’

I needed stamina to express my emotions, I always lived my life ignoring situations that bothered me. This meant that if a problem arose, I avoided it as much as possible and followed my father’s words as obediently as possible.

‘Kwon Yido, you said that. I could choose what I want.’

So this action was my first decision and my own. Even though the results were disastrous, a confidence similar to a resignation arose. I was convinced that even if I had handed over the data, I would not have become my father’s beloved son.

‘…So, have you chosen what you want?’

What if I told my family what I wanted? It was true that I had such greed. People have regrets about things they couldn’t control, so that was the only thing I wanted. But no matter what happened, I couldn’t ask him for it.

‘Well…First of all, I would like to spend some time with you.’

He fell silent when I said it as a joke. He touched my swollen left cheek and slightly lowered his eyes. The lips that soon met were very careful and light, like his feathers.

I think I just had an uneventful day as usual. After having dinner together and chatting in his room, I returned to my room and fell asleep without any sleeping pills. I liked the peace he gave me, so I didn’t even bother to talk about what happened.

‘Let’s get an MRI first.’

The very next day, as soon as morning dawned, he took me to the hospital. I said there was no need to do that, but he was so stubborn that I couldn’t stop him. When asked about what would happen if rumors spread, the confident answer was enough to silence me.

At Seonho Hospital, I was diagnosed by an overly friendly doctor who diagnosed me with a perforated eardrum. Kwon Yido had a scary expression on his face, but the human eardrum was an organ that healed naturally better than expected. At first, I often heard tinnitus in my ears, but after a few days, it became normal as if nothing had happened.

The real problem was the large, reddish-brown mark on the corner of my cheek.

‘…Wow, that’s harsh.’

The first time I looked in the mirror, I was surprised to see that my appearance was more awful than I thought. Not only was my left cheek swollen, but it was also full of speckled blood vessels and burst marks. The inside of my mouth was in tatters, but it was no wonder that the outside was a mess.

‘Why is your face like that?’

Lee Taeseong, who followed the path to the greenhouse, saw my face and asked with a very scrunched-up face. Normally I would hesitate a bit, but it was a very engrossing question. It was so typical of Lee Taeseong, that I also answered indifferently.

‘I fell on the street.’

‘…’

I still remember the look he gave me. Did he believe that? It was a look that was absurd enough to make me doubt it. He quietly closed his mouth and spoke in an extremely normal tone.

‘You should have been careful.’

Well, I should have been careful. Why on earth did I believe in myself and act so confidently?

‘I’ll try to be more careful next time.’

When I answered calmly, Lee Taeseong frowned. He asked me what I was thinking as if insinuating something.

‘…What happened to the street?’

It was truly a poetic question. Even he didn’t know that the streets were people.

‘What else happened? The street is the street.’

My getting slapped probably wasn’t a big deal to my father. There was no place to go and talk about it, so once the wound healed, it would be like it never happened. I wasn’t angry to begin with, and now I wasn’t even impressed.

‘… Did the managing director do anything…?’

Lee Taeseong frowned as if he couldn’t understand. Since it was such a random question, I asked back as if that was what it meant.

‘Kwon Yido? What about him?’

‘That…’

He was immediately about to speak but then closed his mouth with a regretful expression on his face. He shook his head and quickly finished his words.

‘Nothing.’

I was curious about the story behind it, but I didn’t inquire further. I too was uncomfortable with topics related to that.

Anyway, since then, I have led a daily life no different from before. I read a book in the greenhouse in the morning and took a leisurely walk in the garden in the afternoon. Kwon Yido’s library was so large that I didn’t think I would run out of books to read even if I stayed there for a few more years.

The only thing that had changed was that Kwon Yido had become strangely busy.

‘It will be a little late for a while.’

He was the person I always had dinner with, but it became difficult to even look at his face. This was because he went to work before I woke up and left after I fell asleep. When I went out into the hallway to wonder when he would come back, I would only see the light on in the study on the second floor, even though it was early in the morning.

I wasn’t upset. I just felt a little empty.

If I think about it, we had a very ambiguous relationship. We were engaged, but in the end, all of this was just a contract. Nevertheless, our bodies were mixed, and yet our feelings were never revealed to each other.

It wasn’t that I doubted Kwon Yido’s feelings. I wasn’t ignorant enough to not know the affection he showed me. On the other hand, I wasn’t stupid enough to confuse the feelings I had for him.

“Taeseong Lee.”

“Yes.”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“…Yes?”

As soon as Lee Taeseong heard my question, he raised his head as if he had been struck by lightning. He shrugged his shoulders to avoid misunderstanding that his eyes were somewhat hurt.

“I’m just asking. I think Lee Taeseong would be very popular.”

The words were lip service, but they were not empty words. His expression was a bit stiff, but Lee Taeseong was considered very handsome. As his job was to be a bodyguard, he had a good physique, so he must have been quite popular.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

I was going to apologize if he was offended. I was just asking out of curiosity, so it was okay if I didn’t get an answer. However, Lee Taeseong still answered with a blunt expression.

“I’m not dating anyone.”

Judging by his not-so-bad attitude, it seemed like he didn’t even have any intention of dating. Just as I was about to change the subject, thinking that I had asked a question for no reason, he asked in a sighing voice.

“Why are you suddenly asking that?”

“…Well, just because.”

I touched the teacup with my finger. The warm tea water took on a mysterious color, a mixture of sky blue and turquoise. I narrowed my eyes and looked down at the ring on my left ring finger.

“Lee Taeseong guards me every day so I thought you would have time to date.”

As Kwon Yido worked without weekends, Lee Taeseong also took charge of my security without any days off. What we did was read, but that wasn’t his free time anyway. This meant that it must have been difficult to give up a whole day to his lover.

“I thought that if you met someone, they would be disappointed.”

I had no dating experience, I didn’t know how to deal with someone busy with work. Things like how empty I could show and how much I could interfere with him. I didn’t mean to do that to Kwon Yido, it was just something I vaguely thought about alone.

“I have to make sure they don’t feel disappointed.”

Lee Taeseong spoke in a very confident voice. He added it casually as if asking if he was saying something so obvious.

“Dating is something you do when you take your time.”

It wasn’t wrong. It was too textbook-like. However, the words that followed were very self-deprecating.

“If things go wrong, we’ll break up…”

“…”

Has there ever been a lover who broke up because they were busy? I knew he was not good at hiding things. However, in many ways, he was an easy person to get to know. When I saw that bitter expression on his face, it seemed like it hadn’t been long since he broke up with his lover.

“It looks like you have a lot of dating experience.”

“I have as many as everyone else.”

He answered calmly, and I didn’t ask any more questions. I had no more questions, so my conversation with him ended there. Today was a rather friendly day because we usually just read books and then parted ways.

The sweet scent of iris tea lingered in my nose. Instead of skimming through the book I had just finished reading, I suddenly remembered one more thing I was curious about. This time too, it was a question I had no intention of digging into unless there was an answer.

“…By the way, Lee Taeseong, how old are you?”

* * *

There was a lily of the valley flower covered with a glass dome on the nightstand next to the bed. The flowers were neatly gathered and placed on a stand, and the stems were wrapped with a white ribbon. I thought the lid was removable, but I didn’t try to open it because I was afraid something would go wrong if I touched it.

I sat down on the bed and touched the perfume bottle next to it. Every time I touched the beaded cubic, the fabric petals shook together. Since it had not been used since it was sprinkled on Kwon Yido, the contents were still the same.

I opened the lid and sprayed perfume into the air. The perfume sprayed like a mist and had a grassy smell similar to roses but a little lighter. Perhaps, as time went by, it would gradually change into a more natural and faint scent.

“Are you going to be late today too…?”

It was already getting closer to dinner time. I haven’t heard anything from Kwon Yido, but I’d probably have to eat alone again today. I was constantly contacted to say that he would be late, but if he was particularly busy, he might forget.

Let me take a walk.

With that in mind, I picked up my phone and looked for Kwon Yido’s number as if I were possessed. I wondered if I was bothering a busy person for no reason, but by the time I thought about it, I had already pressed the call button. Before I could hear a beep from the cell phone I held to my ear, I heard a familiar voice.

-…Jung Sejin?

“…”

Even though my name was just called, my heart began to race strangely. While I felt happy, my conscience tingled with the disappointment I harbored inside. While I was catching my breath for a moment, I heard another word from the other side.

-Hello?

“… Ah yes. I’m listening.”

I felt it every time I called him, his voice was subtly different from what I heard in person. Both were equally good to listen to, but this one was a little softer.

Kwon Yido spoke in a friendly voice with a hint of laughter.

-You should talk, not listen. You called me.

“…”

-What’s wrong?

“No…Nothing’s wrong.”

Why do I feel so strange? It was a conversation I always had, but today I couldn’t sit still any longer.

“Were you looking at your phone?”

-Yes, I was just about to contact you.

I guess he didn’t forget because he was busy. Judging by the fact that he tried to contact me, he would probably be late today as well.

“… ”

-…

No words were exchanged for a moment. The smell of the perfume that Kwon Yido had given me mixed with my shallow breath. The scent that had permeated the air seemed like it would disappear without a trace after just a little while.

-What were you doing?

“I…It’s just the same as usual.”

The things I did at home were obvious, but he always asked me what I was doing. At first, he asked me if I was busy, but when I was dumbfounded, he changed the question.

-If it’s the same as usual…You went to the greenhouse during the day, but you are probably staying in my room now.

“…”

I don’t know how someone who didn’t even stay at home knew this so well. As I was looking around for no reason, Kwon Yido asked vaguely.

-Did you have tea with the attendant today as well?

What did he say before? Did he say that he didn’t like me sharing a space with others that I’ve never shared with him? So, we even installed lights in the greenhouse, but I never went there with Kwon Yido.

“Did you know that Lee Taeseong is the same age as me?”

Instead of answering his question, I naturally changed the subject. I remembered the answer Lee Taeseong gave me when I asked him how old he was earlier.

‘I’m twenty-nine.’

I didn’t know we were the same age. I thought he was one or two years older than me. Kwon Yido asked back in a shaky voice as if I was the only one who thought that way.

-He is not yet 30?

“… ”

Wow, I laughed. Kwon Yido, who didn’t even know Lee Tae-seong’s name, seemed to have thought the same thing as me. As expected, I felt sorry for Lee Taeseong, but he didn’t look like he was in his 20s.

“…Kwon Yido.”

-Yes.

I muttered slowly, fiddling with the blanket with my hands. I was smiling just before, but for no reason, I felt strange again. I thought that if I hung up this phone, it would be tomorrow before I heard Kwon Yido’s voice again. The fact that I hadn’t seen him in days even though we lived in the same house was very awkward.

“You’re late these days.”

So I just said it without thinking much. I wasn’t expecting a special reaction, it was just the truth. I was curious about how busy work was, but I had no desire to question it.

But after a long while, Kwon Yido’s soft voice was heard on the other end of the phone, which had been silent.

-…I am coming.

Suddenly, the phone was hung up. It happened before I could even call him in my panic. Silence fell throughout the room, and I belatedly understood Kwon Yido’s words. The only thing that appeared on my cell phone screen that I stared at was the time of the call with him.