Speak of The Devil Chapter 33

I just… When I wanted sex, I thought of Jung Yiyeon. If I thought of Jung Yiyeon, I wanted sex, and if I wanted sex, Jung Yiyeon came to mind. What the hell is this damned Möbius strip?

“Crazy bastard.”

Every time Jung Yiyeon and I finished rolling around and I returned alone, Jaeoh, waiting for me in front of my house, would say that. Jaeoh seemed to think that I indulged in alcohol and frivolously rolled my body. I didn’t bother denying it.

Jaeoh’s face, looking at me with painful eyes, and his hand, passing warmth as he lay next to me while I slept, had all become familiar. It became a routine to toss and turn in agony all night, then barely fall asleep at the early morning when Jaeoh went to work.

But there was an unusually sleepless morning. It had been two months since I quit my job. It was around the time when the frequency of meeting Jung Yiyeon, which used to happen every 2-3 days, became so rare that it was hard to count with both hands and feet. Meanwhile, the seasons changed from spring to summer.

“Aren’t you sleeping?”

Jaeoh, getting ready for work, asked me that, but I just shook my head blankly. I felt empty in both body and mind. Was I falling apart, or was there simply nowhere else to fall apart? Amidst my lethargy, it seemed that sleep wouldn’t come now.

“Eat breakfast.”

Although I had lost some weight, I wasn’t emaciated, yet Jaeoh tried to feed me whenever he got a chance. The Korean sentiment of feeling like you’ll die if you don’t eat was unbearably annoying.

However, I couldn’t outright reject Jaeoh’s efforts, who acted thoughtfully for my sake. I was aware of the many wounds I had inflicted, and today, of all days, I didn’t want to add to my sins. Seeing this generous gesture, despite not being able to sleep, my mood this morning seemed strangely good.

When I sat at the dining table, Jaeoh prepared instant rice, fried eggs, and spam. Although my mouth was dry, I silently took a few spoonfuls. I had inevitably consumed alcohol last night and had sex with Jung Yiyeon, so my condition was beyond description rather than good. But with some effort, the rice slid down my throat.

“What do you want to do today?”

“I’ll try to get some more sleep first and think about it.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to do some work? As you have more time, you tend to dwell on other thoughts during that time.”

“I know, but… I don’t feel like working yet.”

“Maybe stop drinking at night, come in early…?”

“Ah, spare me the nagging.”

“Why are you looking at someone else when I’m right here?”

“What are you saying?”

“Just be grateful. Ha, you’re insane, truly.”

Jaeoh grumbled as he stuffed his mouth with rice. Despite his grumbling, I couldn’t help but chuckle self-deprecatingly.

There was no need for Jaeoh to be by my side. As if I couldn’t sleep or eat without Jaeoh. Rather, it seemed that Jaeoh’s presence made me feel less miserable.

“It’s going to rain today. Don’t go out, let’s hang out together.”

“What should I do until then?”

“Cooking? Didn’t you say you know how to make japchae? I also want to eat bulgogi.”

Living with my hyung, we couldn’t say we were completely incapable of cooking. Mostly, we ordered food and had it delivered, and my hyung usually did the cooking. However, I knew how to make a few things, and japchae happened to be one of them, as we had discussed it in the past.

But right now, I had no motivation to do something like that.

“Dream big, Seo Jaeoh.”

Although I outright rejected him, Jaeoh smiled and put down his spoon before getting up. His expression was quite cheeky, as if he was confident that I knew he could do what I had just refused.

Wearing the jacket that was draped over the back of the chair, he reached out and ruffled my newly combed hair.

“I’ll be back, Oppa.”

“Get lost.”

Despite waving him away, Jaeoh continued to smile. Seeing his refreshingly cheerful smile, I couldn’t help but smile too. Indeed, today didn’t seem so bad.

After sending him off, I quickly cleaned up the table, brushed my teeth, and collapsed onto the bed. Having filled my stomach, the drowsiness set in, and it seemed I could finally get some sleep.

Just before drifting off to sleep, my phone vibrated once. The one who sent a message from early in the morning was none other than Seo Jaeoh. It was a somewhat affectionate message, advising me to take an umbrella if I had plans to go out and also kindly asking me not to catch a cold.

I do feel grateful to that rascal Jaeoh, so I might be able to make some japchae for him. However, the moment I thought about checking the refrigerator, I immediately gave up on cooking. Even the act of me doing well could be a torment for Jaeoh…

With a similar excuse, I closed my eyes against the approaching fatigue.

When I woke up, it was dark outside, and I thought I had slept until sunrise. Of course, I had slept for quite a while. It was already four in the afternoon. However, it wasn’t the time for the July sun to set. Looking outside, rain was pouring heavily from the pitch-black clouds.

I remembered Jaeoh asking me to cook, but I became even less inclined to go out to buy groceries. My will to go out for a drink also waned. Since Jaeoh said he would come back early, I thought he could buy something to eat on his way home. Delivery was out of the question on a day like this.

After washing up, I killed time watching TV. Bored with idleness, I wanted to meet someone and have a drink, but looking at the weather outside, my enthusiasm disappeared.

I grabbed a can of beer on an empty stomach. After eating breakfast, my stomach was empty, but I had to wait for Jaeoh’s response to the suggestion of buying something delicious.

Around seven in the evening, Jaeoh came home with both hands full. In one hand were packed meals, and in the other were beer and soju.

“Why did you buy so much alcohol?”

“I finally have a day off tomorrow. Felt like having a drink.”

“Don’t you have any vacation days?”

“No vacation for probation. Even taking a day off before caused a lot of fuss.”

Jaeoh still seemed to be in the probation period. I thought he had been exempted from the three-shift system since he came in as a parachute, but it seemed like he was still in the probation period and not working the three-shift.

Even if he gets more days off after the probation period, the work will probably get tougher, and working the three-shift will strain his body.

However, my sense of relief outweighed the concern for Jaeoh. He probably won’t come to my place as often. It was burdensome to have him worrying about me. While relying on him, I couldn’t easily let go of the uncomfortable feeling.

“I bought sushi. But what’s with the beer?”

Jaeoh teased me for having a drink before the meal. The guy who complained about japchae in the morning brought sushi this time. Pink tuna belly oozed with oil. Just by looking at its texture, it was undoubtedly high-quality sushi.”

When working with Jung Yiyeon, there wasn’t even an option. As my thoughts flowed in that direction, a tingling sensation filled my chest. I was quite fond of raw fish and sushi. However, I had never eaten with Jung Yiyeon, not even once. I never brought up the suggestion to eat knowing that he disliked it…

Suddenly, the urge for alcohol hit me, and I emptied the beer can. The sushi, eaten as a side dish, melted gently in my mouth. It was a sensation of melting away the moment it touched my tongue, enveloped by the savory richness.

Normally, I would have found it ecstatic. However, my mouth suddenly felt too bitter, and this expensive sushi was nothing more than a side dish for the beer.

When will I be able to think about anything related to Jung Yiyeon without any concern? When will I be able to not think about Jung Yiyeon himself?

“Ugh, I’ll kill you.”

In front of me, Jaeoh also drank beer with sushi as a side dish. Despite saying tomorrow is a day off, he seemed eager to get drunk. Watching Jaeoh, who stayed by my side, wanting to see me fall apart, must have been comforting for him.

Of course, I had no room to understand such emotions from Jaeoh. I wasn’t someone who received such feelings from others in the first place. It just made me feel frustrated.

Today, I was with Jaeoh. Moreover, since I had already had sex with Jung Yiyeon yesterday, it didn’t seem like I would contact him even if I got drunk. Still, because mixing drinks wasn’t my preference, I stuck to just beer.

“What did you do today?”

“I woke up really late because of this weather. Showered, cleaned the house a bit. Watched TV, you know.”

“You spent it quite envy-inducingly. I want to have fun too.”

“Weren’t you having enough fun when you were in Busan?”

“I live with my parents, so what’s the point of having fun?”

Despite that, it seemed like he lived quite freely. Jaeoh and I chatted about trivial matters while tilting our glasses. The sushi Jaeoh brought was really delicious, but it was too oily to eat as a side dish. I couldn’t even finish half of that expensive meal.

In contrast, the empty bottles of alcohol accumulated quickly, mostly filled by what Jaeoh drank.

“Stop drinking.”

“Uh-huh. I’m getting drunk.”

The situation was different from before. Usually, it was me who heard the advice to stop drinking. Still, Jaeoh was less intoxicated than I was back then. He obediently went into the bathroom to wash up as I had suggested.

Meanwhile, I cleared the table. Since I had only had a few cans of beer, I was only slightly tipsy. Perhaps it would have been better to drink a lot of beer with soju. I was worried about how to spend the night again.

Jaeoh, who seemed to be more intoxicated after washing up with hot water, stumbled out of the bathroom and collapsed onto the bed. I also washed my face and brushed my teeth before getting on the bed. Since my bedroom was also the living room, the bed was also the sofa if I wanted to watch TV. I sat beside the already sleeping Jaeoh, turned on the TV, and had a fresh can of beer in my hand.

“…Lee Nan.”

I thought Jaeoh was asleep. However, the one calling my name wasn’t sleep talking. Jaeoh, who had been lying face down on the bed, was awake.

“…Who have you been sleeping with lately?”

“What?”

If he was drunk, he should be asleep, but Jaeoh seemed to be making baseless accusations without any signs of dozing off. Suddenly, he climbed onto me. With his arms around my waist and his thighs straddling mine, my body stiffened.

“It’s not like I’m going to a gay bar. Why do you keep disappearing to meet someone every day?”

“…Just go to sleep.”

“Are you looking at someone else while I’m right here?”

“…”

Jaeoh had said similar things during the day. At that time, I thought he was just joking to lighten the mood while lecturing. He had asserted that he had no intention of forcing his emotions on me, just asking to be by my side.

But it was by no means a joke. It was a statement he made in all seriousness, pretending to be a joke.

I slowly began to realize that this atmosphere was dangerous. The situation of only Seo Jaeoh being drunk. I was completely sober.

“Lee Nan.”

Sure enough.

“I’ll make you forget.”

Muttering nonsense, he abruptly raised his upper body. Before I could react, our lips were intertwined.

Seo Jaeoh grabbed my cheek and recklessly kissed me, unlike the cautious and polite touches we had experienced before, handling broken glass. It was a blind kiss fueled by the intoxication of a desperate drunkard.

He bit and sucked on my lips, then forcefully pushed his tongue into my mouth. Navigating beneath my tongue, scraping against the firm palate, his tongue moved as if it, too, were intoxicated.

His heated palm slid under my shirt, urgently caressing and teasing my chest. I read Jaeoh’s desires more fundamentally than ever in that touch.

Jaeoh kissed my lips, cheeks, and chin all over. He kissed my ear and then randomly marked my neck with his lips. The hands that gripped and caressed my chest and swept down my side were relentless.

Though the scent of alcohol lingered, Jaeoh’s natural scent reached me. If it was familiar, it was because we had engaged in sex numerous times before.

Our sexual encounters were always pleasurable. Jaeoh had a great body and the stamina for multiple erections. While I often took the lead, he wasn’t bad when he took charge. We knew how to pleasure each other even without penetration. We knew each other’s sensitive spots.

“…Ha.”

But why now?

“…Seo Jaeoh.”

Why was it so discomforting?

“Step back.”

At the cold words that escaped my lips, Jaeoh shuddered. I pushed away his rigid body. Just being touched by me had caused a noticeable bulge between his legs.

It was a stark contrast to me, who felt no arousal whatsoever.

“…Lee Nan.”

Jaeoh didn’t distance himself from me. Instead, he held onto my body more tightly. The desperation in that grip made it hard for me to breathe.

“Let go.”

“…Lee Nan. Lee Nan.”

Intoxicated, Seo Jaeoh was clearly not in his right mind. Instead, he pressed me down with his weight and forcefully kissed my lips. It felt as if he wanted to commit something akin to assault, making me uneasy. There was no sense of danger; it was just discomforting.