Sunshine Shower Chapter 122

Moon Seoyoon had been unwell for a few days. Fortunately, he had no classes, it was the weekend, he had quit his part-time job, and Nam Taeun wasn’t around.

“You look terrible…”

Even after splashing cold water on his face, the area around his eyes still felt warm. When he looked in the mirror after a long time of dousing himself with cold water, he saw his swollen eyelids. Sighing, Moon Seoyoon wiped his face with a towel. If Nam Taeun saw him like this, instead of teasing him as usual, he would probably ask seriously what had happened. That’s how bad his condition was.

“What should I do about the cologne?”

Thinking about Nam Taeun, he also remembered the cologne that had become unusable.

After Woo Yeonjae left, Moon Seoyoon had spent a long time gasping for breath before pulling himself together to clean up the shattered glass. He also made sure to confess the incident to Nam Taeun right away.

— Oh? It’s fine. I’d almost used it up anyway.

He didn’t want the conversation to get serious by bringing up Woo Yeonjae, so he lied and said he had broken it by accident, which left him feeling uneasy.

‘Still, I’ll get you a new one over the weekend.’

— It’s okay. My taste has changed anyway, so I’ll probably buy something different. Oh, geez! Can’t you see I’m on the phone?

It seemed like Nam Taeun was with someone, as his annoyed voice came through the phone. After apologizing once more, Moon Seoyoon ended the call.

As Nam Taeun had said, the cologne was almost empty, so it wasn’t difficult to clean up. All he remembered while tidying up was the absurd thought that he hadn’t realized how easily a cologne bottle could shatter when thrown with such force.

Even though he had cleaned up all the glass shards and even the tiny puddle of liquid, the artificial scent still seemed to linger, giving him a headache.

Moon Seoyoon shook his head slightly and left the bathroom.

“I need to feel better by tomorrow.”

He hadn’t been crying since Thursday. The tears had stopped sooner than he expected.

After sending Woo Yeonjae away, he had collapsed onto the bed. His body felt so weak that, as he slumped forward, his head drooped as well. Like raindrops falling onto asphalt, faint marks appeared on his pants. He sat there, enduring the flood of thoughts tormenting him, until he staggered to his feet and buried his face in cold water.

For the first time, he found himself thinking that he wanted to stop liking someone, so he needed to toughen up. It was better to stay clear-headed than to keep crying.

Unrequited love was like a habit to him. It was as familiar to him as playing the piano.

Just as habits are replaced by other habits, and pianos fall silent if the keys aren’t pressed, unrequited love could also be broken with enough willpower.

It seemed more likely that people would eventually meet someone new rather than suffer from unrequited love their whole lives. Even without meeting someone new, some people might turn those feelings into fond memories or forgotten thoughts.

Even if he couldn’t cut it off in one swift move, he would eventually be able to let go by chipping away at it bit by bit.

“Maybe if I ice it and sleep, it’ll be okay.”

Speaking out loud on purpose, Moon Seoyoon mentally organized what he needed to do. If he didn’t, the emotions that kept crashing in would surely cause him more pain.

‘First, I’ll buy some ice at the convenience store…’

Another face suddenly popped into his mind. Moon Seoyoon shook his head out of habit and moved on. Maybe the cold ice would help clear his thoughts.

When he pressed the cold ice pack over his eyelids, his shoulders tensed up. But he stubbornly kept the ice pack on his eyes. He could probably just let the swelling subside on its own, but he could already predict the curious stares he’d get if he walked into class looking like this. He wasn’t particularly bothered by the stares, but he was afraid news might reach Woo Yeonjae.

‘If I ice it today, it should be fine by tomorrow.’

It was at least a small relief that there weren’t any classmates close enough to tease him about his eyes. They might ask what happened, but they’d probably accept that he was just tired.

“Hah…”

Before he knew it, his body had adjusted to the cold, as if he had never tensed up at all.

As he lay on the bed with his eyes closed, his mind began to race again as soon as the chill faded. The first image that came to mind was Woo Yeonjae, staring down at his rejected hand.

This was the first time he had so openly rejected Woo Yeonjae by pushing his hand away. He could understand the startled expression he had seen. He, too, would have been surprised if Woo Yeonjae had done something similar to him.

‘I really need to stop thinking about this.’

It was an expression anyone could make, yet for some reason, Woo Yeonjae’s shocked face was stuck in his mind. Maybe it was because he had never seen that look on Woo Yeonjae before.

It was, in a way, an expression that looked hurt.

‘Why him?’

The Woo Yeonjae he knew wasn’t the type to get hurt by relationships. He had never seen him struggle with people before. That was probably one of the reasons Moon Seoyoon had leaned on him so much. Unlike himself, who drifted aimlessly like water, Woo Yeonjae had always stood firm.

“It must be a misunderstanding…”

It was probably just his imagination. His emotions, which had surged up unexpectedly, seemed to have been projected onto Woo Yeonjae, making it look that way.

Moon Seoyoon pressed the ice pack against his face a little harder. He remembered the cold hand that had once covered his eyelids in the heat of summer.

“…Ha.”

So this is what it feels like to be with someone for so long. Every small part of his daily life was filled with memories of Woo Yeonjae, making him think of him no matter what he did. Moon Seoyoon squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, trying to clear his mind.

The water from the melting ice pack began to trickle down his temples. It wasn’t tears, thankfully.

***

Moon Seoyoon greeted his classmate and stepped out of the lecture hall. His eyes had improved significantly, so even wearing a hat could cover up his not-so-great condition. As he walked, he checked his phone out of habit. Since starting the second semester, he had been driving, so there was little chance of bumping into someone while walking. Still, out of a subconscious habit, he kept his eyes forward, as if doing so would make Woo Yeonjae appear.

With the last class of the day done, his schedule was over.

‘First, let’s head back to the dorm…’

Nam Taeun might be there. He felt awkward about seeing him after breaking the cologne, but at the same time, he thought it would be nice to see him. Though his swollen eyes hadn’t fully healed and he was still in a daze from time to time, Nam Taeun’s presence would help him suppress the thoughts that occasionally resurfaced. More importantly, Nam Taeun wasn’t the type to pry into things unless Seoyoon brought them up first, which was comforting.

He was debating whether to text and ask if Nam Taeun was at the dorm when, just as he reached to open the driver’s door, a familiar scent brushed past his nose. Instinctively, Moon Seoyoon froze. It was an involuntary reaction.

“Let’s talk.”

As he turned around reflexively, he spotted a familiar pair of sneakers in his lowered field of vision. Slowly, Moon Seoyoon raised his head. As expected, there stood Woo Yeonjae. It felt strange to run into him on a Monday after not seeing him at all since the semester started.

“…Where did you park?”

It had only been four days since they last spoke. Moon Seoyoon had been about to dismiss the conversation with a “What do you want to talk about?” but changed his mind. He knew Woo Yeonjae wouldn’t back down, and unlike last time, Seoyoon’s thoughts were clear. After 17 years of knowing each other, it wasn’t a relationship they could end in a vague, unresolved way.

No matter what they discussed, they needed to come to a clear conclusion about their relationship.

“I haven’t been driving lately.”

He had brought it up thinking there would be too many eyes near the school, but Woo Yeonjae gave an unexpected answer. His tone was calm, but his face looked even sharper than the last time Seoyoon had seen him.

Does that mean he’s been taking taxis? Seoyoon knew that Woo Yeonjae disliked public transport and crowded places like buses, subways, or taxis, so it made him wonder. Normally, he would have asked why he was taking taxis, but now, they didn’t seem to be on the kind of terms where he could ask such things.

Suddenly, it dawned on Seoyoon—just how distant they had become. In just a few days, after just one conversation.

“Let’s talk in my car.”

His lips had parted, ready to ask about the taxis, but he closed them again without speaking and instead opened the driver’s door.

He had originally brought the car to visit his mother, but it had proven useful in many other ways, from helping him move his things to now providing a secluded place for conversation.

Even after turning off the engine, Moon Seoyoon stared straight ahead. There weren’t many quiet places to have a conversation, so the car was now parked in a wide, open lot. He hadn’t meant to, but they had ended up at the same spot where he and Woo Yeonjae had once argued years ago. The memory of riding back to the dorm in Woo Yeonjae’s car remained vivid.

As he stared blankly ahead, he could feel a gaze on him, watching intently. Taking a soft breath, Moon Seoyoon turned his head. Their eyes met immediately.