Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols – Chapter 3 – Boomer System (2)

Author: LyraDhani

When you were preparing for a job, one of the things you ended up revising multiple times was your resume.

At the same time, having worked in the HR team, it was a document I had seen countless times, and at one point, it was also a document that I revised every day while dreaming of changing jobs.

However, the resume I was looking at now was something I had never seen before.

[UA New Trainee] Kim Iwol

Kim Iwol (20 years old/previously 29 years old)

Career History

– Joined UA through street casting

External Activities

– Assistant Manager at Hanpyeong Industries HR Team (5 years)

Performance Evaluation (100)

– Vocal proficiency: 4/20

– Dance proficiency: 1/20

– Self PR: 12/20

– Attendance management: 18/20

– Organizational Adaptability: 10/20

Total exp: 0

Total point: 0

Of all things, it claimed to be my resume.

The past at Hanpyeong Industry, which was as tough as the fiber of a poorly boiled sweet potato, was listed under external activities.

It looked like my experience there had become worthless.

More importantly, was my dance proficiency really 1? I was truly lucky for never getting picked for any talent shows at workshops.

As I was staring blankly at the total exp and total point, wondering what they were, a new explanation appeared.

[SYSTEM] ‘Exp-point system’ is being notified to ‘subordinate’.

▷ Completing ‘tasks’ will grant a certain amount of ‘exp’.

▷ When the exp reaches 100, it can be exchanged for 1 point.

▷ Points can be added to proficiency level.

It was ridiculous.

If you could get better at dancing by working a lot, executives would have already held extravagant talent shows for office workers worldwide.

Other things that caught my eye were ‘new trainee’ and ‘street casting’.

‘Joined through street casting?’

In February, 9 years ago, on the street, an idol casting.

I felt like I could almost remember something.

Right before entering university, someone had stopped me on my way home.

I vaguely remembered getting a business card while talking to my sister.

I was quite perplexed when they handed me a business card from UA, a company famous for housing ballad singers, saying they were forming an idol group.

I remembered thinking they were scammers using someone else’s company name and completely ignoring it.

It wasn’t even the first time I had received a business card related to idols, so I had completely forgotten about it.

Now, it seemed like I was in a situation where I had accepted that offer back then and joined the company.

‘The only male idol group that later debuted from UA was Spark.’

The place I ended up, after all the twists and turns, was Spark again. What were the odds?

I had no idea what they saw in me to contact me, but as the pieces fit together, my mind started to clear up.

You couldn’t get anything done when blood rushed to your head.

I calmly tried to summarize what I had learned so far as simply as possible:

I had gone back in time to nine years ago.

I became a trainee under UA.

I had to debut in a six-member boy group or I wouldn’t be able to save my sister.

And I would have to join that damned Hanpyeong Industry again. With a lifetime contract.

The situation was still a mess, but now I could accept the reality.

Thinking of it as giving my sister 70 years’ worth of birthday presents that I almost couldn’t give her made me feel a bit better.

This time around, I would receive compound interest on those birthday gifts.

I would just have to grit my teeth and hold on.

I forcibly pulled myself together.

At that moment, an alarm went off above my head. More precisely, it came from the wooden ceiling above me.

At the same time, the Center Emperor Choi Jeho, who had been sleeping next to me, opened his eyes.

He had the same face as he did on the reality show before his debut, a nose bridge that hadn’t changed even after 9 years, and a slight frown every time he woke up due to poor eyesight.

The moment I saw his too-familiar face that made me want to turn away in disgust, my composure completely evaporated.

Instead, a deep-seated anger filled the void.

Could I really do it?

Could I?

Happily debut with these bastards who made me upset just by looking at them?

My stomach churned. It was definitely my acid reflux acting up.

“Oh? You’re already up, too, hyung.”

At that moment, a face popped out from the ceiling with a voice that was way too cheerful for the morning.

Was it because of the lighting?

Looking at the features that seemed to glow, I was momentarily at a loss for words.

The visual was so unrealistically perfect that I thought he wasn’t human for a second.

‘No way, Cutie Pretty Visual Lee Cheonghyeon?’

His looks were so great that my bitter grudge was briefly erased from my mind.

After seeing that face, I could almost forgive UA for selling those full-body mini standees for 23,000 won each.

Even so, that guy was a jerk who came back from his first long vacation with a sunburn, making photo retouching a nightmare.

But still, to think such looks existed in this world.

There was a mysterious aspect to Cutie Pretty Visual Lee Cheonghyeon’s face, with the round eyes, nose, and mouth coming together and giving off a cold aura.

“Jeho hyung is an early riser too. I really like our room’s living habits! The maknae approves!”

That guy was way too cheerful in the morning.

But it seemed the Center Emperor Choi Jeho wasn’t even listening.

“Hyung! We eat breakfast in the practice room. Let’s get ready to go to the practice room first!”

Cutie Pretty Visual Lee Cheonghyeon explained kindly as he came down from above.

How many more days would I have to listen to these voices that made my ears shudder? The future looked bleak.

* * *

An hour later, I found myself standing inside the UA building along with future Spark.

The UA that had cast me was an agency that had long been known as a ballad powerhouse.

Most of the singers affiliated with UA were also ballad singers, each with at least one hit song to their name.

But then, out of the blue, UA suddenly announced that it would be entering the idol market.

The underground practice room where I had arrived was a space hastily put together by UA to train trainees.

Spark’s fans called this place the ‘UA Underground Prison.’

≫ A rookie who released only two songs has a hiatus of 1 year and 2 monthsㅋㅋㅋ Just say you don’t want to make moneyㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ The kids must think it sucks too, they debuted, but they’re mysteriously shelved.

Spark’s hiatus was extraordinarily long.

At one point, there were even rumors that their hiatus period kept getting extended every time an issue came up.

For the record, this place wasn’t unfamiliar to me either. I’d seen it countless times while screenshotting their choreo videos to survey their group dance.

I stood there, feeling a familiar sense of being sh*t on, and someone approached me and talked to me.

“You haven’t been here long, so it must be overwhelming, right? Since you said it’s your first time being a trainee, let me briefly explain our practice routine.”

It was Jeong Seongbin, the mental pillar who would become Spark’s leader in the future.

To me, Mental Pillar Jeong Seongbin was like a filial son.

He had the most gentle face among the ruffian-looking group Spark, so I quickly memorized his face.

Mental Pillar Jeong Seongbin explained things like when the trainer teacher would arrive and UA’s various rules. His orientation skills were top-notch.

‘He’d be perfect as the trainee education manager…’

As I was admiring his calm and clear pronunciation, Mental Pillar Jeong Seongbin suddenly asked me.

“Do you have any other questions?”

“No. Thank you for the explanation.”

Worried that he’d realize I wasn’t paying attention, I answered quickly, but Mental Pillar Jeong Seongbin’s expression became strange.

“Um, hyung. Weren’t you going to drop the formalities starting today?”

There was that kind of setting?

Seeing the more senior trainee Mental Pillar Jeong Seongbin speaking formally to me, it seemed the hierarchy here followed the order of age.

I wasn’t fond of such a conservative organizational culture. As someone naturally more inclined to be at the bottom rung, it made me even more uncomfortable.

“Maybe because it’s still awkward…Look. If it’s okay with you, just speak casually with me.”

“Yes.”

I hated dropping formalities right after meeting someone by using age as an excuse. But I decided to go along with the flow to avoid unnecessary trouble.

Fortunately, Mental Pillar Jeong Seongbin didn’t press the issue further.

“Then should we start with stretching?”

With those dreadful words, Mental Pillar Jeong Seongbin got up.

The time had come to sweat alongside my enemies from hell to achieve the same goal.

I wanted to go home.

I desperately wanted to go home.

The words I had etched into my heart daily during my office worker days naturally came to mind.

Then, my vision flashed white.

Ah, I didn’t need any manuals or explanations anymore.

[SYSTEM] Work instructions from your ‘superior’ have arrived.

▶ You know how we give out points as a part of employee benefits? Starting today, if you do well, you’ll get points. Not many places are this generous. Anyway, you’re in luck, Assistant Manager Kim. Don’t waste them on frivolous things, use them only when absolutely necessary.

But if it was a material reward, that was a different story.

I was disappointed that it was points and not cash, but as the recipient, I had to take advantage of whatever I could get.

Still, can’t you just change that way of speaking? Just reading that saps half my motivation.

Still, I was in no position to be picky, so it was a beneficial proposition for me. Especially since my dance proficiency was abysmal.

‘If I ask for work, will it give me one?’

The situation of requesting work was unfamiliar to me. Normally work poured in even if I just stayed still.

For a moment, I wondered if I should kneel facing the direction where the text was visible, or bow my head instead.

Fortunately, the catastrophe of having to beg for work on top of being forced to debut did not occur.

[SYSTEM] ‘New task’ has been assigned.

▷ Complete one basic move

▷ Reward: Exp

I should be able to manage just one move, right?

Surely, they gave me a task that I could achieve with my 1-point dance proficiency. I steeled myself.

I had to say, this was undoubtedly the most foolish decision I had ever made.

* * *

Do you know just how intense the practice regimen is for K-pop powerhouse Korean idol groups?

‘F*ck, f*ck…!’

I didn’t know. And now I felt like I was going to die.

Ignorance was truly a sin. Nothing short of punishment could explain the hardship and adversity I was currently experiencing.

“Kim Iwol, turn to the left.”

“TIurning isn’t the problem here. Be honest. You can’t tell left from right, right?”

Even so, I could at least distinguish between left and right.

Didn’t I just turn left?

“How can a person be this uncoordinated?”

“It’s beyond clumsy; you’re creaking. If your limbs are this uncontrolled, your brain might go on strike tomorrow.”

The group’s dance members, Center Emperor Choi Jeho and King of Cuteness Kang Kiyeon, were seriously discussing this situation with the utmost grave expressions.

Watching these two being in charge of the group’s performance quality, I was reminded of a post I saw on a community board.

≫But don’t you think UA gathered an amazing group of members despite being a horse sh*t agency?ㅋㅋ There’s not a single one lacking in skill.

They added an uncoordinated member to provide more amusement for the audience. My heart ached.

The highly individualistic Center Emperor Choi Jeho seemed indifferent to this situation.

On the other hand, King of Cuteness Kang Kiyeon, famous for his perfectionism since a long time ago, didn’t take his cold eyes off me until the end.

For someone like me who got dizzy just looking at Spark’s photos for five seconds, this was the worst punishment.

After I rampaged through the practice room like a broken runaway train, King of Cuteness Kiyeon’s eyes glinted with sharpness. His icy stare was as piercing as his words.

I’d gotten good at reading Spark’s expressions.

Sure enough, he spoke in a chilling voice.

“Hyung.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t even think about going back to the dorm today.”

It suddenly reminded me of what my junior at work who loved idols had said while blankly eating a triangle gimbap in the break room.

She had asked if I knew the top three mayo ^[1] .

That was when… our team was in the 3rd week of overtime, and an article came out about her favorite idol group canceling a fansign due to illness but they went to Gangwon Land instead.

I forgot the third one besides ‘Tuna mayo’ and ‘Oppa, don’t just do whatever you want mayo’, but King of Cuteness Kiyeon’s version of ‘mayo’ was quite harsh too.

How many times had I repeated these indecipherable moves?

“Oh. Got it.”

“Quick, do it once more before you forget.”

As soon as the dry Center Emperor Choi Jeho and the relentless King of Cuteness Kang Kiyeon gave the okay signal, my vision flashed white.

I thought it was a sign I was about to pass out but it was just the system. Persistent little thing.

[SYSTEM] The ‘task’ is complete.

▷ Reward: Exp (20)

▷ Total exp: 20

▷ Total point: 0

20? 20?

After all that suffering?

With my limbs trembling uncontrollably?