Approximal Guide Vol. 5 Chapter 5

Despite the situation, I was caught by Ha Seonghan’s words. Just as I was about to ask what he meant, Ha Seonghan, whose face was now split in half with light leaking out, spoke again, still smiling.

“I killed people because I liked you.”

“……”

“A lot of people.”

I heard someone screaming in the distance. I hoped it wasn’t someone I knew.

“It wasn’t for you, but it’s because of you anyway.”

“……”

“Hajung, let’s die together.”

Ha Seonghan’s face exploded with light. Kang Hajung—! I heard someone calling my name. I felt relieved. As long as someone was desperately calling me like that, I felt like I could return, even if I was far away.

I just hoped the explosion was small. I hoped that what I did to save you was the right thing. Just before being consumed by the light, I saw you. You looked like someone who had been betrayed. You didn’t seem angry, more like you were in despair. That’s when I realized. What I did was cruel to you, and it would give you another wound.

Once again, I had done something I would have to apologize for to Kim Moohyuk.

The Battle of Parkdal Mountain.

The battle, which the nearby armored division tasked with cleaning up reported as an accident caused by a few stray bombs used during military training, was known to the public as an accident. It wasn’t entirely wrong. The sound of explosions and the chaos of nearby civilians fleeing were heard throughout the area, which seemed like an accident with stray bombs.

In reality, however, only Colonel-level officials knew about the true nature of the battle. It had occurred on Parkdal Mountain, one of the nearby mountains of the Center. The Center’s boundary had been breached, and using the gap created by the Spacer’s ability to stretch space, a rogue militia group called Accent poured in, killing 57 Esper members and 132 Guides from the Seogyeong Center. It was a battle with many casualties.

At the same time, when Ha Seonghan, the leader of the rogue Accent group, was causing chaos in a movie theater, Accent’s vice leader, Colonel Hwang, and the Spacer, Sseuan, invaded Seogyeong Center, and the battle eventually reached Parkdal Mountain.

Special Esper and Guide forces from China and Japan, who were visiting the Seogyeong Center for joint training, had to immediately return home after the terror attack started, fearing that if any foreign Esper or Guide were wounded or killed, it could escalate into a diplomatic issue. Their quick return ended up being a help.

Another fortunate thing was that Kim Inhak had prepared a new anti-terror manual before the Guide ward explosion terror. Thanks to this, even though Ha Seonghan was attacking the movie theater, the Center had enough troops to resist Accent forces attacking the Center.

The problem, however, was that the Accent group was stronger than expected. The Accent forces led by Colonel Hwang and the Spacer, Sseuan, attempted another explosion in the Esper ward, just as they had during the Guide ward attack. The explosion was suppressed early, but as the security breach allowed Accent forces to infiltrate, Seogyeong Center quickly lost many Esper members.

The main goal of Accent was to take down Kim Moohyuk, who had not regained consciousness, and subdue the Center by force. Since no Esper at the Center was as strong as Kim Moohyuk, they planned to kill him while unconscious and take control of the Center.

However, their attempt ended in failure. Kim Moohyuk regained consciousness in the middle of the battle. He woke up in the collapsing Esper ward and swiftly defeated most of the Accent Espers before heading to the movie theater, calling my name, Kang Hajung, and charging like a beast.

That’s how Moohyuk found me, and I got caught in Ha Seonghan’s rampage…

“…Moohyuk…”

I struggled to focus with my blurry vision, caused by the bandages around one of my eyes. I felt like the guiding system inside me had collapsed, and I couldn’t even tell if there was one Esper or two near me. The one thing I was sure of was that Kim Inhak was by my side.

It had been a while since I regained consciousness, but I had only just started speaking again. My injuries were severe, and after Ha Seonghan’s self-detonation, I had been kept alive by the healing Esper’s abilities.

“Sunbae, about that… Moohyuk is busy with the cleanup… You know, it’s a mess right now.”

It seemed like Kim Moohyuk hadn’t come today either. I barely managed to close my eyes. It was hard even to lift my eyelids, as my lashes stuck to the corners of my eyes.

Since regaining consciousness, I had not seen Moohyuk even once. I had been in the intensive healing ward because of my severe injuries. I hadn’t asked the medical staff, but it was likely that visits weren’t allowed in the intensive care unit. Maybe Kim Moohyuk had come during that time. I wanted to ask Kim Inhak about that curiosity, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

…Since I couldn’t speak well, I thought it was better not to ask and just remain silent. I hadn’t drunk any water for a while, so my throat was strained, but the sensation in my throat wasn’t the biggest issue. There were places where I couldn’t feel anything at all.

I struggled with the sensation of numbness, so I opened my eyes that I had kept shut for a moment. Upon hearing that Moohyuk was busy, I kept quiet and closed my mouth. Kim Inhak looked guilty, as if he had done something wrong. He probably had been busy with the aftermath too, but I didn’t want to make him feel worse, so I said nothing.

“I’m fine, so go ahead and take care of your work. You must be busy.”

“…It’s been chaotic lately. The central department guys seem eager to pin the blame on us somehow… I’ll send Byeongeun. Focus on your recovery.”

Well, that might be difficult. There seem to be too many damaged parts to fully recover to my previous state. Objectively speaking, Kim Inhak’s request seems impossible.

Six weeks since the Battle of Pakdal Mountain. They say I was unconscious for about a month and a half. Today is the first time I’ve seen Kim Inhak’s face. So, I wasn’t disappointed not to see Kim Moohyuk. Rather, I was relieved to know from Kim Inhak’s tone that Kim Moohyuk was unharmed. Although an Esper healer had regenerated my half-torn lung, it was still difficult to breathe as the cells were still growing. Kim Inhak’s face looked peculiar as he watched me wheeze after a few words.

“…You know Ha Seonghan is alive, right?”

“….”

I didn’t answer. If I survived being caught in the rampage of an S-class Esper, Ha Seonghan would be the same. I expected he would be captured by the Seogyeong Center Espers, treated, and then brought to trial.

“…It seems the Accent guys also know their leader is alive.”

That meant Kim Moohyuk was handling the aftermath.

“What’s the central department’s reaction?”

“They’re acting suspicious.”

Of course. With the connection between the central department and Accent, and Ha Seonghan being severely injured, it made sense. After some thought, I spoke.

“…Add a function to Ha Seonghan’s restraint suit to strip him of guiding abilities rather than just controlling his powers.”

“Yes.”

Kim Inhak nodded. Then he looked at me. I seemed to understand what that gaze meant, so I asked.

“Where am I disabled?”

“….”

Kim Inhak couldn’t answer. Judging by the fact that my fingers and toes moved fine, it wasn’t spinal paralysis. But since I couldn’t bend my knee well, I thought I might continue to limp as I did when I was Colonel Kang Hajung.

“…Moohyuk was… very angry. About what happened to you.”

“….”

“You don’t think enough about the people around you. Even with Ha Seonghan.”

It seemed he wanted to say that I didn’t know Ha Seonghan well enough. Kim Inhak was right. I didn’t know Ha Seonghan, and as they say, ignorance is the greatest sin, so I was punished. While acknowledging my mistake, I brought up another topic.

“To Moohyuk…”

“….”

“Don’t force him to come to me.”

Kim Inhak’s eyes widened at my words. He seemed slightly shocked, as if he hadn’t expected it. I didn’t say anything while watching his expression. Inhak clicked his tongue.

“You’re too much. Pushing him away like that… Even I feel cold from you, so imagine how cold Moohyuk must feel.”

While Kim Inhak was saying that, one of my eyes scanned the hospital room meaninglessly. Even though I knew only Kim Inhak was here, it was as if I was looking for someone. But since the person I was looking for wasn’t here, I closed my eyes, pretending nothing was wrong. Inhak sighed and left the room, thinking the conversation was over.

“Ugh—!”

Suddenly, something surged up my throat. I could smell a faint metallic scent through my nose. It seemed I had coughed up blood. I pressed the nurse call button I was holding.

“What’s the matter?”

A nurse officer came in shortly after. Unable to lift my arm, I couldn’t speak and just groaned with blood in my mouth. The nurse officer sighed, approached, and held a medical tray in front of my lips. I spat out the blood and frowned as my ribs throbbed in sync with my pounding heart.

“Oh dear, you coughed up blood again today. This will continue for a while. The guiding core is still unstable…”

I looked at the nurse officer with eyes that seemed to say thank you, as speaking was difficult. The nurse officer seemed to understand my gaze and told me to rest without worrying.

Although the military doctor hadn’t explicitly said anything, I had a vague feeling. Ha Seonghan’s rampage had undoubtedly left a permanent disability on Sergeant Kang’s body, or rather, my body. I was sure because it felt completely different from before.

There seemed to be parts that even the healing Esper’s ability couldn’t fully mend. I lost consciousness thinking that far. Nowadays, I fall asleep immediately like this. I don’t know if it’s because I have more sleep now or if I’m just passing out.

I briefly woke up at dawn because I felt a familiar wave. I blinked blankly with one eye and tried to make a sound from my throat.

“…”

But no sound came out, and the familiar wave sitting in the chair soon left the hospital room.

I had to watch the door close with a click, shrouded in darkness.

I couldn’t count the days that passed after that. I would fall asleep as soon as I opened my eyes, and barely get up when it was dark outside only to fall asleep again. It was almost funny how I slept all the time like a newborn.

When the nurse officer occasionally came in to change the IV needle from the back of my hand to the other arm, I could tell that about three days had passed. They need to change the IV site every three to four days. More days passed like this, but Kim Moohyuk still didn’t come to the hospital room, and I started to think that the figure I saw that night might have been a dream.

Even so, there was nothing I could do except breathe and sleep. Moving a finger was the entirety of the rehabilitation training I could do in bed. It was frustrating.

Because it felt like Kim Moohyuk’s voice, saying ‘Kang Hajung, until the end—!’ kept playing repeatedly in my ears. I wanted to say sorry… I wanted to get up and tell him with my own strength. That’s why I told Kim Inhak not to scold Moohyuk unnecessarily.

…What kind of misunderstanding might Kim Moohyuk have? He might have thought I was unfeeling. Considering the opposite, it wouldn’t be pleasant for him to risk his life for me either. Thinking that way made it impossible to hide my complicated and anxious feelings.

So I tried to put in more effort each time. I even tried to coax the damaged guiding core to make the guiding circulation flow throughout my body.

“Ugh, huff—!”

Of course, it wasn’t easy. It was very painful as the guiding system twisted and caused internal injuries like turmoil inside. But it wasn’t unbearable pain. I just wanted to see Moohyuk.

“Sergeant Kang, how are you feeling today?”

The nurse officer came in and asked me. Even though I felt my throat move, no sound came out, so I struggled for a while, then spoke with an unpleasant wheeze.

“Good. I think I can join the Olympics soon.”

The nurse officer chuckled at my words. While adjusting the drip and inserting a syringe into the IV bag, I blankly stared at the dust floating in the hospital room as the afternoon sunlight streamed in. Then I squeezed out another sound.

“…Could you turn on the TV?”

The nurse officer, as if it was no trouble, turned on the TV in the room with the remote and handed the remote to my only somewhat functional right hand.

I immediately turned to the military channel. A program covering the latest news from the military was airing. There was nothing significant, but something bothered me.

— The Minister of Defense will visit the Special Forces Central Management Headquarters this afternoon to meet with the head of the Central Department.

— The Ministry of Defense has decided to dispatch 10 trained snipers to deal with severe boar damage in northern Gyeonggi Province today.

— For the ROK-US joint training, the Eagle Fire fighter jet, which landed at Sacheon Military Airport, will leave Sacheon Military Airport at 2 PM on the 8th, three days later, according to US Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Jennifer Lawrence…

All three news items were highly suspicious. The Minister of Defense visiting the Esper·Guide Central Department, which supposedly doesn’t exist on the surface. Although the news mentioned the Special Forces Central Management Headquarters, no past Minister of Defense had visited the Center’s Central Department.

In most countries, including South Korea, there is a Ministry of Defense known to the public and another Ministry of Defense known only to the head of state and the Ministry of Defense itself. That is the Esper·Guide Special Forces. To Espers and Guides, the Central Department clearly has the nature of the Ministry of Defense, but externally, the Ministry of Defense and the Central Department must pretend not to know each other. This news was almost announcing the recognition of the Central Department’s existence.

But why? The Blue House wouldn’t stand by and let this happen. The Blue House and the National Assembly, which are most wary of military dictatorship, wouldn’t allow a meeting between the Center’s Central Department and the Ministry of Defense.

Moreover, to deal with boars, it wasn’t regular soldiers from a nearby unit but specially selected snipers who were given the kill order. Northern Gyeonggi Province would be near the Seogyeong Center. In other words, it was almost like deploying snipers near the Center.

The sudden ROK-US joint training was also strange. Given the importance of diplomatic relations with various countries, ROK-US joint training should be conducted with utmost caution, but the news specified the name of the fighter jet and the exact date and time of its return to its home country. It felt off.

I wanted to call Kim Inhak, but I had no phone, and even if I had one, I didn’t have fingers to make the call. Except for part of my right hand, I was entirely bandaged. It was a frustrating situation. Then I suddenly stared at the IV drip from the city flow, watching the liquid drop. How long had it been since the nurse officer injected another drug into the IV bag…? I blankly stared at the IV bag and fell asleep.

When I barely woke up, it was the next day, and Han Byeongeun was in the hospital room. I told him about the news I saw yesterday, but Han Byeongeun looked at me with a lukewarm expression and replied.

“…Don’t worry too much. Colonel, your health isn’t good, so leave the outside matters. There are plenty of people handling it now…”

“What nonsense.”

Despite the unpleasant, metallic tone in my voice, Han Byeongeun just looked at me with pity instead of frowning. It was probably because of what the military doctor had said when I asked Han Byeongeun when he arrived this morning.

‘It seems you won’t be able to avoid disability. You’ll only be able to use about 70% of your total lung function for the rest of your life. You should avoid strenuous exercise or running.’

That was practically a death sentence for a soldier. It was surprising to think that a man could die three times. The first death was when my knee was damaged, the second was when my entire body died, and the third was being told that a soldier like me could never run again. At this point, it seemed like there was nothing left but retirement.

“…Now, even the Director can’t keep you here any longer. You should take this opportunity to retire…”

“No.”

But I can’t retire now. No, I won’t. It meant I couldn’t leave Kim Moohyuk behind like this. The thought of seeing Kim Moohyuk again overwhelmed the absurdity of wanting to die leaving him behind.

The last news I saw bothered me. The return date of the US fighter jet Eagle Fire. I asked Han Byeongeun about it.

“When Eagle Fire returns to its home country… is it taking anyone with it?”

“…”

Han Byeongeun remained silent. I had a vague feeling, but I didn’t think it would be Kim Moohyuk, which was troubling. I frowned and spoke again.

“Take me to Kim Moohyuk.”

“Colonel, your wounds haven’t even healed yet. If you go out now and get infected…”

“If I can’t run or move anyway, they can just cut off the infected part.”

“Please don’t say things like that! Don’t you know it drives the people around you crazy!”

Han Byeongeun was angry. He kept telling me to take care of my body and to grow up, but I listened quietly and spoke again.

“Take me to Moohyuk.”

“Colonel, really…”

Han Byeongeun looked exasperated but then went to the medical office and got a permission slip. Thankfully, the hospital lent us a wheelchair. Byeongeun grumbled as he helped me into the wheelchair. Riding the wheelchair pushed by Han Byeongeun again felt oddly nostalgic. I hesitated and said,

“…Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. When someone who doesn’t usually talk like this does, it feels like they’ll die in five minutes.”

Geez, he always had to say something like that. But I couldn’t scold Han Byeongeun any further. Just transferring to the wheelchair drained my energy, driving me crazy. In the end, I could only sit in the wheelchair as if dead.

Han Byeongeun borrowed a wheelchair-accessible van from the hospital, put me in it, and drove off. It seemed he knew where Moohyuk was, so I realized that Han Byeongeun and Kim Inhak had been hiding news about Moohyuk from me. But I didn’t say anything. As long as I could stand in front of Kim Moohyuk, that was enough.

The van drove smoothly toward the main building of the center. The main building was busy with repairs here and there due to the recent battle. It was my first time seeing the center since being severely injured and taken to the hospital after facing Ha Seonghan at the cinema.

As Han Byeongeun guided the wheelchair toward the main building, I blankly observed the center’s scenery. Unlike the place I knew, there were many collapsed and broken spots. These were the traces of the battle that day. I had only heard bits and pieces about what happened from Kim Inhak and Han Byeongeun. I didn’t know the details of how the battle unfolded, but the remaining traces at the center suggested it had been a tough fight.

“…Did they say Director Hwang was captured and Tsuan escaped?”

“Yes. Just in case, Ha Seonghan is detained at Seogyeong Center, but Director Hwang was sent to Gangwon Center last week. They agreed to take care of him there…”

Espers who are felons undergo military trials because their existence can’t be known to civilians. Director Hwang also had to be temporarily detained for trial, but since Seogyeong Center already had a powerful Esper like Ha Seonghan, they decided to separate the two to prevent any potential escape.

Even so, it was surprising that the other center directors, who usually hated doing favors, accepted Kim Inhak’s request. It seemed the Gangwon Center, which wasn’t particularly friendly with the Central Department, had agreed to help Inhak.

Since it had been a month and a half since the incident, it was natural for things to stabilize gradually, but the center seemed to be handling the aftermath of the battle more calmly than I had expected. I thought it was a relief and reduced my words. I didn’t want Byeongeun to notice I was panting heavily from the difficulty of breathing.

“Moohyuk should still be in the Mars Operations Room.”

Due to this incident, the unofficial team Mars was recognized as an official active platoon under Kim Inhak’s leadership. So, I thought Moohyuk would be in the Mars Operations Room, but I couldn’t help but feel that the physical distance between the operations room and my hospital room was closer than I thought.

I knew I had to stop these petty and pathetic thoughts, but I couldn’t help it. Fortunately, Han Byeongeun didn’t notice my stiff expression as he moved me to the elevator. I didn’t want to let my partner, who was twelve years younger than me, know that I was sulking. Even though I said it was okay not to come, it felt heavy in my chest that he really didn’t come.

Fortunately, only Han Byeongeun and I were in the elevator, so we arrived at the floor with the operations room quite quickly.

“I’ll open the door for you. Do you want to go in alone?”

Han Byeongeun asked me what I wanted to do when we arrived at the operations room door. I thought for a moment and nodded. Han Byeongeun sighed briefly, knocked on the door, and then pushed my wheelchair in. The Espers sitting on the sofa quickly stood up, as if they had been watching who was coming in.

“Colonel…!”

“Colonel Kang!”

“Is it okay for you to be out like this?”

They were so surprised that they forgot to salute Han Byeongeun. Bang Ga-eun, Ham Jung-joo, and Go Seung-hwan asked me one after another. They looked a bit thin but didn’t seem to have bad complexions or any injuries. I nodded, relieved. Han Byeongeun cleared his throat and spoke.

“Colonel has severe lung injuries, so let’s ask about his well-being later. Where is Captain Kim Moohyuk?”

At those words, Bang Ga-eun looked troubled.

“He went to the administration to get some documents… He should be back soon…”

“Is that so? Then why don’t you all join me for a cup of coffee?”

Han Byeongeun naturally led them out of the operations room and positioned my wheelchair facing the door before leaving with a nod.

“Colonel, we’ll visit you soon.”

“…Get well soon.”

“Colonel, your one eye looks like Kakashi.”

As Bang Ga-eun and Ham Jung-joo left the operations room, worried about me, Go Seung-hwan pointed to the bandage over one of my eyes and got smacked on the back of his head and kicked in the shin by Bang Ga-eun. …I knew you’d get hit. But I didn’t have the strength to say it, so I just nodded slightly. I wanted to save my strength to talk to Kim Moohyuk when he returned.

I intended to apologize for not considering him and ask for another chance. I wanted to tell him that I would have been angry at my selfish decision if I were him. I had to tell him that I was cruel to him, who had to watch me helplessly twice, and that I only thought about not losing him.

I had to organize the order of what I needed to say. If I stammered and couldn’t convey my feelings, I would be disappointed. I kept muttering to myself and calming my breath. I was afraid that my troublesome lungs would make me cough in the middle of talking to him.

I wanted to move the wheelchair to grab the water bottle on the table, but I was so groggy that even moving the wheeled chair was difficult. So I had no choice but to wait quietly. However, despite the passage of time, no one came through the door.

In the end, I waited for Kim Moohyuk, who said he would come soon, but he didn’t come, and I lost consciousness while waiting for him.

“Do you have any sense or not!”

The military doctor’s shout made my feverish head buzz. I had to frown slightly due to the headache. The military doctor seemed to think it was pointless to scold a patient with a bad complexion, so he glared at Han Byeongeun, who was quietly standing behind.

“Sunbae Han, you too. Didn’t I say the outing should be within an hour? You know I only allowed it because you begged and promised to supervise the patient!”

It wasn’t Byeongeun’s fault. I had persuaded Han Byeongeun, who suggested we leave several times, to stay a little longer. I thought Moohyuk would come if we waited a bit more, but he didn’t, and I ended up wasting time in someone else’s operations room and had to be taken back to the hospital with a fever. I felt sorry for worrying Han Byeongeun and giving the military doctor more work.

I didn’t know if Moohyuk avoided me because he knew I was coming or if he didn’t know, but he never returned to the Mars operations room, and I collapsed with a slight fever, probably because I had been bedridden and in a wheelchair since regaining consciousness.

However, even with a feverish body, the fact that I couldn’t see Kim Moohyuk kept bothering me.

“You are strictly prohibited from going out until you can get up and walk. That’s already being lenient. Why did you go out when your immunity is already weakened…”

The military doctor sighed deeply. While feeling sorry for him, I kept thinking about Moohyuk. Did he avoid coming because he knew I was there? Even though I knew thinking about Moohyuk like this wouldn’t help me, I couldn’t stop.

Han Byeongeun seemed to be trying to calm down the military doctor who had angrily slammed the hospital room door. Left alone, I wheezed and soon fell asleep again. I don’t know how long I drifted between consciousness and unconsciousness. I felt like I was in a light sleep but couldn’t open my eyes.

“…Kim Moohyuk?”

I struggled to lift my heavy eyelids and muttered with a weak voice. It was because I felt a very familiar presence.

“Moohyuk…”

“…”

There was no response. That made me sure it was really Kim Moohyuk. His presence was still trying to reach me but was cautious enough not to fully connect. I was so glad to sense him that I wanted to jump up, but my body wouldn’t move as I wished. Still, I tried to sit up and say the words I had prepared earlier. Even though I knew my legs were flailing like a severed insect, I kept trying to get up. I had to apologize to him. I was sorry, and I had so much more to say. I wanted to see his face to make sure he wasn’t hurt. Honestly, I missed his face so much it drove me crazy. I just wanted to check if he was okay, even from a distance.

“You’re doing something stupid again.”

“…”

My pathetic flailing stopped. I had no words to respond. From Kim Moohyuk’s perspective, he wasn’t wrong. Since I didn’t reply, he remained silent for a while.

Then, the sound of a chair scraping startled me. I looked in the direction of the sound with my eye accustomed to the darkness. A shadow in the dark was facing the door.

“Moohyuk, no. Wait…”

I called out to him desperately, afraid he would leave.

“Just a moment, just a moment… Kim Moohyuk…”

My wheezing voice was pathetic. It was rough and trembling with desperation. Kim Moohyuk stopped. My heart pounded so hard I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to tell him my feelings, thinking this was the chance he gave me.

But then, I started coughing uncontrollably. My alveoli, which hadn’t fully expanded, caused me pain. I tried to stop coughing and speak, but each attempt failed, and the coughing grew worse. The sound of my coughing was harsh.

“Don’t come looking for me.”

Even through my violent coughing, his voice was clear. I couldn’t respond, and Kim Moohyuk soon left the room.

“Moohyuk, wait, just wait…!”

I called out to him, leaning forward urgently, but lost my balance and fell off the bed. The IV line attached to my hand stretched taut and fell to the floor. The sound of it hitting the floor was loud. My fingers, bent awkwardly in the cast, throbbed with pain. I stared blankly at the hospital room door.

Kim Moohyuk didn’t return. Even after waiting for a long time. Sitting on the floor, I crawled to the remote and pressed the nurse call button.

“How did you fall out of bed?”

“I wanted to drink water but lost my balance.”

The nurse officer gave me a slight glare as I apologized. I knew it was a scolding to be careful, so I apologized again. When asked if I was hurt, I hid my painful fingers and shook my head.

If I hadn’t held onto the bed rail, I would have broken something badly. It was fortunate that the IV bag was plastic and didn’t break. If there had been glass shards on the floor, my skin would have been cut, leading to infection.

I tried to think positively. I asked Han Byeongeun to bring me a toy balloon that inflates when you blow on it, and I blew it occasionally. It was my way of rehabilitation. I didn’t want to show the pathetic sight of coughing uncontrollably again. I also did knee exercises by pressing a towel under my knee.

The knee that had been troublesome when I was Colonel Kang was now completely wrecked. I had thought it might be due to psychogenic stress, but it seemed my knee knew its fate. Still, I couldn’t neglect rehabilitation. I had to see Kim Moohyuk again.

So, I focused on rehabilitation training for a while. My efforts paid off, and the military doctor finally allowed physical therapy. I went to the rehabilitation training room every day and trained with the physical therapy officer.

Even though it was just blowing a ping-pong ball into a hole or doing simple strength exercises like a child, it was much better than lying in bed doing nothing.

“You have strong willpower, so you’ll recover quickly.”

The physical therapy officer encouraged me. It might have been empty words to give me hope, but I really felt my strength improving slightly. After spending a month and a half in bed, I had lost muscle, so all I could think about was recovering quickly to get permission to go out.

At least, that was the case until today.

“…What?”

I had finally healed enough to take a shower, but with no stamina and only one functional eye, it took me an hour just to wash my hair and body. Exhausted, I came out of the bathroom and was toweling my hair when Han Byeongeun’s words hit me like a bolt from the blue.

“…That’s what happened. Since the Central Department kept demanding accountability, Moohyuk took it upon himself to cover the losses and volunteered as a mercenary.”

“What did he volunteer for?”

I was furious. I grabbed the cane from the corner of the room and stormed out. Han Byeongeun quickly caught up with me as I hobbled along, grumbling.

“Where do you think you’re going in that condition? I’ll get in trouble again!”

“I’m not going to meet someone who keeps me waiting. I’m going to see someone who stays in one place so I can see him immediately. You lead the way. You have to drive me.”

“…What?”

Han Byeongeun looked surprised. I lightly tapped his shin with my cane.

“What are you doing? Hurry up! We need to go before the military doctor catches us!”

Han Byeongeun frowned but pressed the elevator button, realizing he had no choice. Honestly, I was worried that the nurse officer or the military doctor would come running to stop me, but thankfully, no one appeared. I got into Han Byeongeun’s car, and we headed to the place I used to live with Kim Moohyuk.

“Why here?”

“I need my uniform.”

“What?”

Han Byeongeun asked as if he had misheard, but I quickly got out of the stopped car and entered the place. The door code hadn’t changed, giving me a strange feeling. …Well, knowing him, he wouldn’t bother changing these things…

But when I entered the house, I was shocked. It felt like an abandoned house with no signs of human presence. Disbelieving, I brushed the top of the shoe cabinet and found it covered in dust. It was unlike Kim Moohyuk, who liked to keep things clean. The floor was likely the same, so I kept on my hospital slippers as I walked in. I looked back at my footprints in the dust, thinking it was a wise choice.

I headed to the wardrobe to find my uniform. Thankfully, it was neatly ironed and covered in plastic. I sighed in relief and covered my nose and mouth with my hospital gown. My lungs weren’t in good shape, and inhaling too much dust wasn’t advisable.

I quickly changed into my uniform, starting with the shirt and pants. The waterproof bandage still covered the surgical wound on my chest, reminding me that I hadn’t removed it after my shower in the rush to leave the hospital. I was afraid of causing an infection by removing it in the dusty house, so I left it on.

Once dressed, with even my hat on, I was sweating from the pain that followed the quick movements. I suppressed a sigh and headed back to the entrance. When I came out fully dressed, Han Byeongeun’s eyes widened.

“Where are you going? This is really starting to scare me!”

“Good. You should be scared of your superior. We’re going to the Central Department. Take off your socks. I didn’t bring mine, so I need to wear yours.”

I answered casually as I got into the passenger seat. Han Byeongeun grumbled but told me to look in the glove compartment. Seeing new socks, I smiled and reached for them, but bending down caused intense pain, making me groan. It took me about ten minutes to put on both socks. It was absurd how even wearing socks was challenging due to my poor condition. During that time, Han Byeongeun was grumbling but driving toward the Central Department.

“If Colonel’s doctor finds out about this, we’re in big trouble.”

“Who doesn’t know that? The moment you let me in the car, you became an accomplice. Just drive properly.”

I responded nonchalantly and took a mint candy from the glove compartment. Then, I dozed off again. Despite my lack of manners, Han Byeongeun didn’t say anything, knowing that my condition made me fall asleep like that. When I woke up, we had arrived at the Central Department. I straightened my hat and told Han Byeongeun.

“Wait here. If you leave before I return…”

Han Byeongeun snorted at my absurd threat. Without wasting time, I hurried into the Central Department building. I found the very operations bureau chief I had met at the Central Department the day I supposedly died years ago.

“Oh, Major Kim? He’s now the Deputy Chief of Operations. What brings you here?”

“If you tell him that I’m Captain Kim Moohyuk’s pair guide from Seogyeong Center, he’ll understand.”

The receptionist, who had been dismissive when a sergeant asked to meet a major, was surprised and gasped at my words. After a moment, she made a call somewhere. …Come to think of it, getting promoted from second lieutenant to first lieutenant is common, but from captain to major in five years? It seemed strange.

It was suspicious that he was promoted from section chief to deputy chief. In a regular company, such a promotion might be achievable in five years, but in the military, it was quite difficult because it involved a change in civil servant grade. He had a pale, weak appearance with no apparent connections, so his rapid promotion was unusual.

Regardless, I thought seeing his face would provide answers, so I waited calmly. The receptionist had a public service worker guide me. I followed the skinny public service worker.

“Please go in here.”

The place he led me to was the deputy chief’s office in the operations bureau. It was amusing that they had given a separate office to the deputy chief, not the chief or director. I knocked, and a voice from inside told me to come in.

I entered. The section chief, no, the deputy chief, glanced at me and gestured for me to sit on the sofa in the office. I saluted lightly and sat down. Previously, I was a colonel, and he was a captain, so saluting wasn’t necessary. Feeling annoyed, I gave a sloppy salute that barely resembled a proper one.

“Well… your salute is a bit…”

“Is there a problem?”

“Uh, no. Why did you want to see me?”

Major Kim started to say something, then clicked his tongue and asked my business. I immediately stated my purpose, having waited for this moment.

“I will accompany Captain Kim Moohyuk on his overseas deployment as his pair guide.”

“What?”

Major Kim turned to look at me in surprise. I met his gaze with a stern expression.

“I understand that someone needs to take responsibility for the recent terror incident. But why does it have to be Captain Kim Moohyuk, the highest-ranking officer at Seogyeong Center, or even nationwide? And why alone, without his pair guide?”

Major Kim’s expression hardened as he replied.

“Do you realize this is insubordination?”

“I don’t know. They say being young and pretty makes up for a lack of knowledge, so I don’t know much.”

Of course, I’d never heard such a thing. But at least it succeeded in shutting Major Kim up. I spoke again.

“If you’re sending Captain Kim Moohyuk, send me with him. He’ll need a guide.”

“You’re really…”

At that moment, the door to the deputy chief’s office flew off with a bang.

“Ah, what the—!”

Major Kim jumped about five centimeters off the ground. …Is he a flying Esper? He looked too heavy for that.

I cleared my throat. Even though the door had flown off and crashed into the wall, I didn’t look back. I knew exactly whose presence I felt from the end of the hallway, even inside the room.

A familiar baritone voice came from behind me.

“Deputy Chief, could you step outside?”

“Uh, me…? Do I have to go out?”

Kim Moohyuk didn’t answer. Major Kim blinked in confusion, then cleared his throat.

“Uh, come to think of it… I should go have lunch or something…”

It was long past lunchtime, but he was embarrassed to leave his office to Kim Moohyuk. I didn’t care, and Kim Moohyuk’s intense gaze on me made Major Kim awkwardly leave his office.

As soon as the deputy chief left, Kim Moohyuk slammed the door back into the empty doorframe with a loud bang. Despite the noise, I didn’t turn around. The sound of military boots approached, and Kim Moohyuk sat across from me, crossing his legs.

“Did you come to beg like a dog? To stop my deployment?”

“….”

“Do I look weak to you? Can’t you stay out of it?”

I thought about why he was saying such things. Did he see my involvement in Ha Seonghan’s rampage and my insistence on accompanying him on this deployment as meddling? I could understand his perspective, but I didn’t want to make excuses, so I didn’t answer. I took off my hat and placed it neatly on my lap.

“…Where are you getting your guiding from?”

Kim Moohyuk didn’t answer. He didn’t glare at me and remained expressionless. His face showed no emotion, just like the first time I met him in Sergeant Kang’s body.

I sighed briefly and started radiating guiding energy. That was when Kim Moohyuk’s expression changed. He placed one of his military boots on the table between us and grabbed my neck.

It was a strong grip, one I never thought he would use on me. My airway was blocked, and I could feel my face turning red. My hyoid bone was so fragile compared to his hand. As a faint sense of fear crept in, I released the contact guiding. As if punishing me for starting the guiding on my own, a sharp pain began to stab inside my solar plexus. My eyelids trembled as I endured the sensation of being stabbed with a knife. It was also because of the grip on my neck.

“…You’re really crazy. Even now, you want to do this?”

Kim Moohyuk looked down at me and then shook his head, sneering. Even with my eyes bloodshot from the strangulation, I didn’t stop the contact guiding, and he let go of my neck as if he had lost his strength.

I couldn’t help but cough as the sudden rush of air entered my lungs. Bent over in pain, coughing violently, Kim Moohyuk walked to a mini-fridge on one side of the deputy chief’s office, took out a bottle of water, opened it, and tilted my head back to give me a drink. The water flowed slowly enough for my narrowed airway and damaged esophagus to handle, allowing me to drink without difficulty.

But Kim Moohyuk soon pulled away. The bottle’s mouth left my lips. Fearing he might leave, I quickly spoke.

“Please, let’s go together.”

“….”

“I can’t send you alone. Moohyuk, I now, now I understand how you felt—”

At that moment, Kim Moohyuk’s fist slammed onto the table. The thick glass top cracked with a loud noise. As he lifted his fist, powdered glass fell from his hand.

“I’m not going, Instructor.”

“….”

“I won’t go with you.”

Kim Moohyuk smirked, clenching and unclenching his bloody fist. Then he looked down at me and spoke.

“Seeing your face is unpleasant. Even an Esper can get tired of their guide. You end it first.”

“…What?”

I didn’t understand what I had just heard. With my blurred vision, I looked up at Kim Moohyuk in a daze. My ears were ringing. No, Moohyuk, that’s not it… I wanted to tell him that I regretted hurting him, that I had been too harsh on him. I wanted to say that I would never leave again, that I liked him, and if he didn’t mind, we could be like any other bonded Esper and guide…

But before I could speak, Kim Moohyuk turned his back and left the room. His back overlapped with the image of him leaving the hospital room. I couldn’t stop Kim Moohyuk.