Simmering Heat Chapter 25.2

If he was angry at himself for being stuck in this stagnant contradiction, wanting yet not wanting, or if he resented the past him who had devoured his courage, either way, it was a futile complaint. No matter how much he fretted, tied to an irrevocable past, nothing would change.

And in this unchanging place, he thought it would be okay to simply mark time, content with self-sufficiency. Greed is just another word for disaster. He often reminded himself of this even as he walked alongside him.

“Taeun.”

But times like these…

When a gentle, unfamiliar voice softly called his name…

“I’ll be right out of the shower. Rest for a bit.”

“…”

He couldn’t stop the crumbled stone walls from being rebuilt, the trampled blades of grass from reviving.

The completed landscape was, once again, called love.

I really do like you. Fearlessly, foolishly so.

Affection, once more, greedily desired him. Facing this irresistible constant, Taeun looked back and forth between past failures and faint hopes.

To mark time or to take a step into the unknown. The choice was his. Entirely his. This first true freedom, vivid and unwavering, lay before him.

Taeun gripped the doorknob, released it, and gripped it again, repeating the motion. Like someone being pushed forward against their will, his involuntary movements, accompanied by heavy breaths, gradually subsided.

“Hey.”

Taeun finally let out a small sound. He didn’t need to look to know Jinhyun had stopped at his call. Slowly, he turned his back to the door.

“You know…”

He stared directly into the man’s strange expression and fervent eyes, aware of the unusual signs. Gulp. The sound of him swallowing was far more obvious than before.

“…You know…”

“Yeah.”

The immediate reply was low, like sediment. Resembling bubbles rising from the bottom.

“…How far is a ‘taste’?”

The intent behind the foolish question was veiled. The relaxed atmosphere, built on childish promises and jokes, instantly shifted, wrapping around them with a strange weight.

“As far as you want.”

The silence was brief.

“What if I want everything?”

“I’ll give you everything.”

Jinhyun answered without hesitation.

He approached as much as Taeun hesitated, pulling him in like a snare that tightened the more he struggled, with an unwavering strength that was more than enough to build a small conviction.

“Jinhyun.”

“Yeah.”

“You… know…”

“Yeah.”

There was no impatience in his steady responses, even to Taeun’s halting words. Each precise syllable struck him like an arrow.

“After you’re done showering…”

“…Yeah.”

“Will you sleep with me?”

And so, Taeun took a step forward.

Towards the watch on his wrist, the vase adorning his old desk, the ugly doll guarding his bedside, the charging cable crammed in his bag, the hand that wiped away his vomit without hesitation, and the gentle voice that called his name.

🔥

His chest felt tight, suffocating. It was hard to breathe, as if a large boulder was resting on his torso. Taeun took several deep breaths. The tension felt like it could kill him.

He was the one who said he didn’t want to sleep together before dating, the one who argued that platonic wasn’t so bad. And yet, he’d completely changed his mind.

Despite the sudden change of heart, Jinhyun didn’t protest. He didn’t even show any surprise. He simply ended the conversation with, “I’ll shower and come to your room.”

Sitting on bedding twice as comfortable as his cheap study room mattress, Taeun repeatedly inflated and deflated his chest like a balloon. Hoo, Huuh, Haa, he exhaled, rounding his lips as if blowing out candles, his mind cluttered with the bits of knowledge he’d gleaned from books.

First, kiss… then clothes…

“…Should I undress him?”

Or should he wait for Jinhyun to undress himself? What about his own clothes? Should he tell Jinhyun to wait a moment, neatly fold and put away his clothes, or should he wait for Jinhyun to undress him? If he undressed, how far should he go? Everything at once, down to his underwear? Or should he just take off his outer clothes and leave his underwear for later…?

Useless worries made him breathless. Let’s say he undressed, then he’d probably have to lie down. How should he lie down? Side by side facing the ceiling? Or facing each other? Or maybe one facing the ceiling and the other…

“Oh, shit…”

Taeun regretted it. He should’ve discussed it a little. He didn’t know he would change his mind so impulsively. With nothing decided, everything felt uncertain.

He didn’t even know what or how much he would “taste.” He just planned to throw himself into it. Like back then, when he could willingly be pathetic, as if he hadn’t been hurt, driven only by his feelings.

“Whatever.”

Don’t be awkward. This wasn’t something you think about and do. It was supposed to happen naturally, like water flowing from high to low. He was busily rotating his hips while sitting down, trying to soothe his aching body.

Knock, knock.

A short knock came from outside the door.

There was only one person who would knock. Despite the expected situation, Taeun was startled as if his heart would leap out of his mouth. He quickly corrected his posture. Soon, a voice seeking permission came from outside.

“Can I come in?”

The guy who usually barged in without a second thought was acting unusually formal. As if asking if he was ready. His stomach suddenly churned. He tried to ignore the strange feeling.

“Uh, uh, come in.”

The door opened. Jinhyun, freshly showered, smelled of the same scent as Taeun. His clean-shaven face, with his quickly dried hair swaying, was calm, but the redness of his ears couldn’t be hidden. In the ticklish air, where even the sound of the hinges turning felt like it was brushing against his skin, Jinhyun strode towards the bed.

“Hey, hey, wait.”

Taeun quickly spoke, watching him stiffly.

“Why?”

“T-turn off the light.”

The ceiling light brightly illuminated the room. It was too bright. Extremely bright. Bright enough to see every pore if they sat close. Jinhyun hesitated, showing his displeasure without hiding it, and grumbled sullenly.

“…But then we won’t be able to see anything.”

That was obvious, and exactly what Taeun wanted. He urged him again. But Jinhyun didn’t listen.

“I want to see you.”

“Still, this is a bit… too bright…”

“Don’t you want to see me?”

He did. That was the whole point of this. But he didn’t want to be seen. Despite his grand decision, he lacked confidence. Torn between two desires, Taeun came up with a decent solution.

“Then, turn off the light and turn on your phone flashlight… and we can look occasionally when we need to…”

“…Are we performing surgery?”

As if to say he’d indulge Taeun’s nonsense only so far, Jinhyun resumed his steps.

“Why are you ignoring me?”

Flustered, Taeun backed away with his butt, picking a pointless fight, but it was no use.

“I’ll ignore only this.”

His head was suddenly grabbed. Jinhyun’s lips, carrying the fresh scent of toothpaste, pressed against his, urgent.

🔥

A tongue, resembling a snake’s head, slithered between his closed lips.

The floor dipped under the man’s weight as he pressed down, supporting himself on his knees and the mattress. Taeun’s torso, struggling to receive the insistent tongue, momentarily lost its center and tilted. Like reaching out a hand just before falling, Taeun instinctively wrapped his arms around Jinhyun’s torso. Despite his arms desperately gripping his shoulder blades and back, they both collapsed onto the bed. Taeun landed underneath, cushioned by the soft bedding, his head and neck supported by the low pillow and a large hand.

The leisurely worries he’d had, with the background sounds of running water, were actually pointless. Kissing, undressing, lying on the bed – the series of actions that should have unfolded sequentially were compressed, tangled, and mixed together.

So Taeun thought:

Ah, you can do it all at once.

The tranquil realization was soon shattered.

The papillae of Jinhyun’s tongue, rubbing intensely against the inside of his upper teeth, blocked his thoughts. Taeun involuntarily tensed and flinched. A ticklish sensation ran like an electric current through his spine and into his brain.

Every time the wet flesh brushed against the inside of his mouth, his abdomen sank as if a sharp needle had pricked him near his navel. Jinhyun, teasing his palate, found Taeun’s tongue and slowly turned his head. Chuuup, the sound of wet surfaces rubbing against each other echoed clearly through the parted lips. The gap was immediately sealed again. The hand on the back of his head had moved forward, gently stroking from Taeun’s forehead to below his ear.

A long thumb gently rubbed his smooth cheek. Jinhyun carefully caressed him, as if confirming the movements inside his mouth, and slowly lowered his hand. While pulling on Taeun’s plump lower lip, he lifted the hem of his loose shirt and slipped his fingers inside.

“Nn…”

A short moan escaped Taeun’s lips at the touch, cooler than his body temperature.

His body, pinned beneath, jolted as Jinhyun gently caressed his flat stomach. Jinhyun slowly pulled away, creating distance and securing his vision. A transparent thread, spun from saliva, stretched and then snapped. Jinhyun looked down at Taeun for a moment.

Thanks to the bright ceiling light, his flushed face was fully revealed in Jinhyun’s view. His cheeks, flushed red like a drop of crimson on white paper, looked incredibly lovely. His tightly closed eyelids fluttered open, as if questioning the empty space left by Jinhyun’s lips. His eyes, briefly lost in the thin gap, met Jinhyun’s moist gaze and reflected his surprise.

“Ah, why are you looking…”

Taeun turned his head to the side as he spoke.

Because of his loose t-shirt, the line from his collarbone to his jaw was prominent. Jinhyun traced the neat line with his eyes, as if savoring it. He felt an urge to sink his teeth into the smooth, white skin, like a sandy beach. Suppressing it, he pressed his lips there instead. He sucked lightly, creating a chup sound, and as expected, a suppressed moan escaped Taeun’s lips. His innocent body, reacting to every touch and kiss, was all the more enticing. Jinhyun spoke, his lips still on Taeun’s neck.

“Can’t I look?”

His hand, which had slipped under the t-shirt, continued to roam. As he moved to Taeun’s side and caressed him ticklishly, Taeun closed his eyes again, as if he couldn’t bear it. Jinhyun smirked, one corner of his mouth lifting. The small movement of Taeun’s eyelashes was enough to make him noticeably harder. Taeun opened his lips slightly, still with his eyes closed.

“Ah… no. Try not to look as much as possible… and you too, close your eyes.”

“Why?”

It was admirable how he managed to finish his sentence despite his trembling. Jinhyun wondered what had possessed Taeun to act so boldly, when he couldn’t even handle this much. He moved his hand upwards, gently licking the red mark he’d left.

“B-because it’s embarrassing… ah!”

A surprised voice burst out as he flicked Taeun’s nipple with his finger. Ignoring it, he rubbed the protruding bud with his thumb. The rolled-up hem of the t-shirt had lost its function, exposing Taeun’s chest. As he rubbed, applying slight pressure as if spreading something, the soft nipple quickly hardened, as if becoming erect. Jinhyun moved his hand to the other nipple, lowered his head, and sucked it in.

“Huu, ah…”

Taeun, who had turned his head as if about to bury his face in the pillow, opened his eyes wide in surprise at the unfamiliar sensation and looked down. His gaze immediately met Jinhyun’s, who had been watching him all along. The intense gaze, burning enough to redden his scalp, and the strangely arousing sight filled his vision at once. Taeun stared blankly at Jinhyun, sucking his nipple as if kissing it, with an incredulous expression.

A feeling like static electricity prickling his hair made his fingers and toes curl involuntarily. The hem of Jinhyun’s shirt he was holding crumpled, briefly revealing his slender waist and toned abs. The waistband of his underwear and the distinct line of his hip bones, visible above his pants, entered Taeun’s field of vision unfiltered. Taeun unconsciously clenched his teeth.

He felt a tightness below. His penis, fully erect from the intense stimulation, felt like it would burst from the pressure of his underwear. He felt like he would soak his pants before he even got them off. Taeun grabbed the sides of Jinhyun’s head with both hands and urgently exclaimed.

“W-wait… ah, ugh, wait a minute…”

“Haa… why? I can’t stop now.”

His body trembled as hot breath spread across his chest. Enduring the urge to tell Jinhyun to stop talking while he was on his nipple, Taeun continued.

“It’s not that… just, a little, slowly… b-beginner’s course…”

“…”

He couldn’t bring himself to say, “I think I’m going to cum.” It was too embarrassing. He hadn’t even done anything much. Just a bit of kissing and nipple sucking. It was absurd that his untouched penis was already getting wet. In contrast, Jinhyun seemed quite composed, which bothered him.

Is this the difference in experience? Taeun felt a little intimidated. He also felt somewhat unjustly jealous and worried. What if Jinhyun found it boring? Insecurity sparked anxiety, which quickly filled his head.

It wasn’t that he had specifically preserved his virginity. He just hadn’t seen anyone else because he had someone he liked. But now, he suddenly felt foolish for having passed up opportunities for various experiences. He worried that Jinhyun would be turned off by his awkwardness. A regretful murmur escaped his lips.

“I should’ve dated more…”

“…What?”

Jinhyun’s expression immediately hardened. His eyes, softened by arousal, now focused on Taeun with a sudden chill.

“Is that really something to say now?”

“What’s wrong with saying that…”

“You’re looking for someone else right in front of the guy who’s crazy about you.”

“…”

That wasn’t what he meant… but thinking about it, it could sound that way.

“…That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

Taeun applied slight pressure to the hand holding Jinhyun’s head and gently stroked his cold eyes with his thumb. It was novel and cute how Jinhyun entrusted his head to Taeun’s hand, despite being upset.

“…I’m embarrassed.”

At his honest words, the displeased look in Jinhyun’s eyes softened considerably.

“…I don’t know what to do, and I feel like I’m just, nn, being led…”

His voice hitched as Jinhyun’s finger lingered on his nipple. He was embarrassed that he was reacting so sensitively to something as simple as having his chest touched. He didn’t know if it was because it was his first time, or if it was a stimulation even experienced people couldn’t resist. Taeun pulled Jinhyun slightly closer and confessed his shy inner thoughts.

“I… want to touch you too.”

“…”

“I want to undress you too.”

A strange silence fell. Just as a petty worry crossed his mind that he might come across as someone who only knew how to talk big without knowing anything, Jinhyun let out a heavy sigh and kissed him on the cheek, peck. A series of short kisses followed, on his brow, the bridge of his nose, his chin, and down to his neck. Taeun quietly received the barrage of pecks, glancing at him. His handsome face, free from its previous coldness, was melting softly.

After leaving lip prints here and there, Jinhyun sat up and knelt. He gazed at Taeun, lying beneath him, chest bared, as if inviting him to touch. Jinhyun had thought Taeun was clumsy at seduction, lacking any real talent, but it seemed he was mistaken. Taeun’s unique honesty was more stimulating than any practiced skill.

“You undress me.”

“…”

“I want you to undress me.”

Instead of answering, Taeun slowly raised his torso, using his arms to push himself up from the mattress.

Still, the distance was too close to untangle their intertwined legs. As Taeun grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it, Jinhyun lowered his head and raised his arms to help him undress. His well-balanced upper body was revealed under the light. Taeun’s gaze travelled up from his strong forearms, with their bulging veins, across his broad shoulders, and stopped below his chin. He moved the garment in his hand to the side and asked,

“…Can I touch you?”

“It’s yours, do as you please.”

It sounded like blatant flattery. Mine. Taeun savored the words imprinted in his mind.

He brought his hand to Jinhyun’s sculpted abdomen and slowly stroked it. The heat and subtle tremors of his arousal were transmitted directly. He could clearly feel that Jinhyun’s excitement was rising because of him. It was unbearably embarrassing, yet addictive.

He wanted to see more, various aspects of him. He wanted to know how he got aroused and reacted in reality, not just in his imagination. Taeun leaned his head close to his abdomen and placed his hand on his narrow, hard pelvis.

Unlike Jinhyun, who was kneeling, Taeun was sitting with his butt on the bed, so Jinhyun’s solar plexus was right in front of his face. He felt a burning sensation on the top of his head from Jinhyun’s downward gaze. Ignoring it, he pressed his lips to his concave abs and licked them briefly. It wasn’t just Jinhyun’s abs that reacted. He could clearly feel the outline of his penis against his chest, near his collarbone. It throbbed and twitched, fully erect. Taeun was quite startled, but hid it and rubbed his chest against it subtly. Remembering what Jinhyun had done, he continued moving his lips.

He diligently kissed his side, under his chest, and near his navel, then paused for a moment. His hesitation was brief. He gathered his courage, slightly lowered the waistband of his underwear, and sucked hard around his hip bone. Though inexperienced, he knew how to leave a mark. The act of leaving his mark on a secret place, one rarely seen by others, sent shivers down his spine. As he diligently sucked on the skin, gently biting and teasing it with his tongue, a low curse erupted above him.

“Ah, fuck…”

It was a rough, low voice, like a beast growling. Taeun, inwardly admiring the blooming red mark on his smooth skin, glanced up at Jinhyun. Their eyes met again. Somehow, he felt less shy than before.

“…H-how is it?”

He asked for feedback, as if checking his homework. He hoped Jinhyun liked it.

“Should I… haa, be honest?”

Jinhyun stroked Taeun’s hair as he asked. His hand moved down and gently gripped the back of his neck. Taeun nodded nervously. He felt another twitch from the hard object against his chest.

“I think I’m going to cum.”

“…”

He was speechless at the overly honest answer. A strange sense of camaraderie crept up on him. It wasn’t a situation where they could pat each other on the back and chat, saying, “I almost came too, did you?” So he just responded with feigned composure, “I-I see.” A sense of accomplishment filled his chest warmly. I guess I’m good at this…. Lost in the unexpected sense of achievement, Taeun came back to his senses at a slight pain. The grip on the back of his neck tightened.

Having reached his limit, Jinhyun lowered his bare torso and reached for Taeun’s waistband. His rough hand impatiently grabbed both his pants and underwear, intending to pull them down at once. Taeun, unable to even gasp, hurriedly grabbed his pants.

“W-w-wait, wait.”

“Why, again?”

“This, uh, I’m not mentally prepared yet…”

“What more preparation do you need? I’m about to explode.”

The vulgar words seemed to represent his feelings. Taeun felt the same about his own imminent explosion. And he was extremely reluctant to expose his about-to-explode penis in the brightly lit room. It seemed some of his fear still lingered.

That’s why he’d wanted to turn off the lights. He might have been okay if he wasn’t sober… Clutching his pants with both hands like someone needing to use the bathroom, Taeun blurted out,

“Do you have any, any alcohol at home?”

“Would I? The person who drinks it ran away.”

Jinhyun mumbled, pressing his lips against the skin below Taeun’s ear. Meanwhile, he was still trying to pull down his pants with one hand. Their unexpected wrestling match continued without any sign of ending. Just before Taeun’s defeat, due to the disadvantageous position and difference in physique, was inevitable, he shouted.

“Hey, hey! You, you pinky swear too.”

Taeun practically yelled.

A question mark appeared on Jinhyun’s strangely relaxed face, as if he’d taken some kind of medicine. Taeun blinked rapidly, continuing,

“Promise you’ll sleep with me next time too.”

“…Huh?”

He needed one last assurance. It was like a threat, telling him to comply without complaint, imposing a sense of obligation so he couldn’t back down. Taeun removed one hand and held out three fingers, just like Jinhyun had done.

“Even if you change your mind, don’t show it, promise you’ll continue… Even if you regret it when you wake up in the morning, promise you’ll sleep with me again.”

“…”

“If you promise you’ll only sleep with me from now on, I’ll, I’ll take them off.”

His pants, which had been pulled down to his hips and taut, suddenly loosened. Jinhyun, oblivious to the loss of strength in his hand, just stared at Taeun with a dumbfounded expression.

“If you can’t, tell me now. Even now…”

“Can I interpret what you just said however I want?”

Even his mumbling sounded idiotic. Jinhyun punched his own chest as if to calm his heart, which was pounding wildly.

Even when he was freely kissing and sucking, or watching Taeun’s innocent and honest caresses, his blood hadn’t rushed like this. Struggling to breathe, he punched himself again. Taeun, watching his sudden self-harm, frowned slightly.

“…Does it hurt?”

“I can’t… breathe, well, never mind that.”

Jinhyun, gasping for air, stopped the change of subject. No matter what happened to his breathing, there was something he had to clarify.

“Answer me. If you don’t say it clearly, I’ll take it however I want.”

“What, what should I say?”

“What you just said sounded to me like…”

He paused. His chest heaved rapidly. He felt as dizzy as he had when he’d made his clumsy confession.

“You and I have sex.”

“…”

“We eat together, date, kiss, hold hands…”

He took the hand that had been wandering around Taeun’s waist and pulled his wrist towards him. He kissed the tip of Taeun’s bent pinky finger and spoke with a strained voice.

“It sounds like you’re asking us to be in a relationship where we can say we like each other, right?”

“…”

Taeun closed his eyes tightly, then opened them again. He was confused by the unexpected question.

Ah, that’s right. That was the meaning of the promise he’d made. He realized it belatedly. His head naturally drooped. The man’s anxiety, pouring down on the top of his head, seemed to guess the answer. Somehow, it was difficult to look at him. Staring blankly at the crumpled sheets, Taeun swallowed hard.

At first, he’d been distrustful and wanted to run away. Then, he’d cried foolishly, thinking himself a fool for not being able to trust. A little later, he’d been desperate to believe. Whenever those trivial curiosities, which seemed unlikely to ever resurface, clamored, he’d been quick to suppress them. Because Jinhyun had pushed him away, because he’d been alone for so long, distrust was inevitable.

When it came to love, Taeun had always been ahead. He had never been behind, not even once. He’d always walked alone. Run ahead. Sometimes, when he looked back and saw Jinhyun hadn’t even crossed the starting line, he’d be overcome with sadness, yet unable to stop. That’s how he became alone. The moment he could no longer see even a faint figure, he was finally able to stop his foolish steps.

And suddenly, Jinhyun was in front of him. He called out to him. He wanted to walk side by side. Even though Taeun wanted to run to him and hug him, he was rooted to the spot. Jinhyun came to him and kept taking his hand, kissing him, as if promising to walk with him, tightly intertwining their fingers.

So he was able to decide to take a step forward, a step away from his stubbornly fixed position. And as a result, they were here. Taeun slowly raised his head with an incredibly slow movement. And he quietly looked at the man yearning for him.

Running away was pointless anymore.

“…Would you hate it if I said yes?”

So, asking back instead of agreeing was a sign of his poor courage, and a final confirmation. He had a small conviction that Jinhyun wouldn’t push him away again.

“Ah…”

A reluctant sigh escaped Jinhyun’s lips and dissipated into the air. His voice wavered pathetically.

“Are you going to promise or not?”

“A hundred times over.”

The grip on his wrist tightened, but it didn’t hurt at all.

Taeun stared intently at their intertwined pinky fingers, like a knot tied with red thread, and pressed his thumb against them as a seal. Even as Jinhyun’s hand slowly pulled away, he felt no anxiety. Amidst the pounding in his chest, he pressed a kiss, peck, on Jinhyun’s lips, like a seal. Jinhyun’s expression turned blank, as if his soul had left his body, at the connecting lip seal. Like a dog following its owner’s treat, he tilted his head, following Taeun’s retreating head, stopping just before falling over.

“…If you lie this time, I’ll kill you.”

Taeun issued a chilling warning and then wriggled, pulling down his pants.

He couldn’t bring himself to take off his underwear with his own hands; human shame welled up inside him. As he hesitated, holding the waistband of his underwear and kicking at the fabric tangled around his ankles, the tightness below suddenly disappeared. Without warning, Jinhyun pulled Taeun’s underwear down to his knees. Thud. His penis, fully erect with a bead of clear fluid at the tip, was exposed.

What, what the…

As he stared dumbly at himself, surprised by the suddenness, a warm hand immediately wrapped around his shaft. Without hesitation, Jinhyun grasped Taeun’s penis and pumped it up and down.

“Taeun, I think I really like you.”

“Wh-what…!”

“How can even your dick be so pretty?”

There wasn’t a trace of hesitation in the man stroking him. The pants, caught on his ankle, fell to the floor, and his underwear, bunched around his knees, was immediately removed completely. Taeun, tense from the unfamiliar touch of another person, twitched his hips. His sensitive penis bobbed as if it was about to ejaculate.

“Uh, y-you too… ah.”

“Yeah, me too… I’ll take them off.”

The conditional ending sounded suspicious. Without giving him a chance to question it, Jinhyun grabbed Taeun’s waist and pulled him down forcefully. His tense body fell back with a thud. The soft duvet and pillow absorbed the impact, but Taeun lifted his head abruptly, as if he’d been hit with a hammer.

“D-don’t, ah, stop…!”

The cool air that had been shrinking his heated penis was suddenly cut off. Taeun cried out in alarm as he saw his penis swallowed into a hotter warmth. Jinhyun, holding the base of his shaft and taking his entire length into his mouth, tightened his lips and bobbed his head up and down. After a couple of strokes, he briefly pulled away, stuck out his tongue, and licked around the tip. The unfamiliar stimulation made Taeun’s mouth open involuntarily, letting out a messy sound.

“Ah, n- huu, ah.”

His back stiffened, and his chin lifted on its own. The surging pleasure was more than welcome, it was frightening. Taeun shook his head and thrashed his legs. His thighs, struggling to escape, were caught and restrained by a strong grip. Jinhyun, who had been teasing his sensitive tip, deeply engulfed his penis again. The hand at the base of his shaft disappeared as the connection deepened. The rough papillae of his tongue rubbed against his flesh, grinding against the center of his glans, making his hair stand on end. Taeun, bound and helpless with his lower half exposed, grabbed the hair of the man buried in his groin.

“Ah, fuck, w-wait, wait…!”

Unable to withstand the force of Taeun pulling at his hair, Jinhyun slightly raised his head. His features were flushed and distorted. Even though Jinhyun was the one sucking, Taeun felt a strong sense of euphoria, as if his cock was being sucked. A silly thought crossed his mind.

Jinhyun suddenly felt pleased that Taeun was a man, or rather, that they were the same sex. Although everyone’s erogenous zones were generally similar, this was even more so for the same sex. The fact that he could easily understand how to stimulate and caress Taeun to elicit a reaction made him happy. Slowly releasing the penis he’d almost swallowed to his throat, Jinhyun licked the curve below the glans.

“You said you studied.”

“A-alcohol… I want to, nn, drink and do it. I’ll, I’ll go buy some.”

Taeun whimpered as if he was about to die from the overwhelming pleasure. He looked like he was deliberately trying to ruin the mood by asking for alcohol like an alcoholic. Ignoring his plea for alcohol, Jinhyun pressed down on his smooth thighs, causing his hips to lift naturally. Jinhyun spread his long legs wide, settling into a comfortable position.

“Watch me suck your dick sober.”

“Fuck, why are you, ah, saying it like…”

Taeun mumbled some complaints, then stopped arguing and pathetically pleaded for alcohol again. Jinhyun gazed at his beautiful, softly curved penis, resembling its owner, and asked, rubbing his lips against his protruding hip bone,

“I didn’t know… haa, before, because I only saw it briefly…”

“What are you going to say now…”

“Was it always like this?”

At the cryptic question, Taeun lowered his chin and blinked blankly.

“It’s modest.”

Peck, instead of pointing with his finger, Jinhyun kissed his penis.

Only then did he understand what Jinhyun meant. He was referring to his sparsely haired nether regions. Taeun, already mortified to the point of wanting to die, was so taken aback that he kicked Jinhyun’s back hard with his heel. Despite the painful blow, Jinhyun didn’t even flinch.

“That’s why I said turn off the lights…!”

“So fucking hot.”

Jinhyun seemed slightly out of it, only concerned with saying what he wanted to say, ignoring the pain. As if refusing to allow even a moment’s respite, he pressed down, grinding the tip of Taeun’s penis with his tongue. Unable to bear the sight of the obscene scene unfolding below, Taeun loosened his neck and buried the back of his head in the pillow. He gave up.

The ceiling blinked white, repeatedly disappearing and reappearing. As his penis was engulfed again, he bent his knees and rubbed his feet against the sheets. The sensation, entirely different from when he masturbated, tickled him like a fine brush painting on his body as a canvas. His legs trembled involuntarily as Jinhyun’s head moved back and forth, past the roof of his mouth and into the narrowing throat.

“Huu…”

The heat rising within him spilled out as a thin, melting moan. I don’t know. The ceiling shimmered. He could only barely breathe, his eyes slightly open and his chest heaving. Taeun’s mind softened and blurred, like cotton soaked in hot water. He couldn’t even tell where or how the long, straight fingers were touching him…

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.”

…He could. Taeun cried out urgently.

Just before his consciousness slipped away, consumed by pleasure, his back arched and his torso sat up. Even as Jinhyun’s hand, which had been gently stroking his testicles, moved down to smoothly caress his soft perineum, Taeun’s dazed eyes widened in alarm. The fog in his mind cleared as he felt the fingers pressing around his entrance, as if about to penetrate him.

“Huu, why.”

“Th-th-there.”

A finger was probing the wrinkled entrance between his buttocks.

Taeun hesitated, about to ask why Jinhyun was touching there.

The question was wrong. There was only one reason to touch there. But since they hadn’t discussed anything beforehand, he had to ask something else.

“Am… am I the bottom?”

“…Huh?”

“Are you… going to put it in?”

Jinhyun’s face, hazy as if he had a fever, tilted slightly to the side. He seemed to be trying to understand the question, phrased in their native language, as if he didn’t comprehend it at all. He opened his mouth again, but…

“…Then?”

“Huh?”

“Of course I…”

He trailed off, his face dazed as if he’d realized something.

“…Ah.”

A bewildered sigh escaped his parted lips, replacing the heavy silence.

In the awkward silence, Taeun had to reflect on his words and actions.

Did he make a mistake? No. Did he say something he shouldn’t have? He wasn’t sure. Rather, it was a topic appropriate for the situation. Since they hadn’t discussed it properly, it was a matter that naturally required consideration. However, judging by Jinhyun’s reaction, it seemed he was the only one who thought so.

“……”

“……”

The sudden silence stretched. Jinhyun’s expression was a mixture of distress and confusion. Taeun could easily understand his confusion.

Even if he had experience, he’d only dated women. He probably assumed his role without much thought, because that’s how it had always been…

But Taeun hadn’t been a bottom before either. Despite having liked men for a long time, having a penis shoved up his ass was something to seriously consider. But if he was asked if he wanted it, he wasn’t particularly eager. The partner was what mattered.

However, he couldn’t help but express his doubts in the midst of this bewildering situation. He wasn’t about to get penetrated without knowing anything. Taeun shuddered, recalling the feeling of Jinhyun’s fingers probing his entrance. The strange, indescribable sensation was still vivid.

“…Wait a minute.”

Jinhyun finally broke the long silence.

His hand, which had been lingering near Taeun’s tense buttocks, moved away. Jinhyun swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat down. Taeun’s eyes followed his quiet movements suspiciously. Jinhyun leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and lowered his head. His serious posture involuntarily brought to mind a famous sculpture.

What was its name? Ah, The Thinker… Although it was only the upper body, even the naked form was very similar. The only difference was that the rigid sculpture didn’t tremble its legs so restlessly.

Jinhyun spread his hand, which had been supporting his chin, and slowly stroked his face, then tilted his head back and blinked a few times. The well-defined muscles in his back rippled with each shallow breath. Taeun, watching his shoulder blades move like gentle waves, cautiously spoke.

“What… are you doing?”

“Sorry, just a minute.”

He asked for time as if asking Taeun to wait. His erect penis, coated in saliva, felt extremely embarrassing. Taeun took this opportunity to pull the blanket up to his neck. He wrapped himself tightly in the thick fabric like a customer at a hair salon. The living sculpture let out a deep, resolute breath, Fuu. Jinhyun returned to his place and sat cross-legged in front of Taeun.

“Let’s do what you want.”

“…”

“What do you want to do? I’ll do the rest.”

Despite his casual tone, as if conceding his turn in a game, his expression was extremely solemn.

It seemed he’d given up a lot in that short time. His stiff posture hinted at the magnitude of his decision. He looked like a saint, dedicating his body, radiating an almost religious piety.

Is… is this something to be treated with such solemnity and reverence?

Taeun, who hadn’t given it much thought, was momentarily flustered, but then he understood. For Jinhyun, a heterosexual man born and raised with a standard education, having there… penetrated was probably more shocking than the world turning upside down.

“I…”

Taeun mumbled, unable to make a hasty decision.

How significant it was that Jinhyun, despite his nature, had given him the choice, even if it was a lie. He was impressed, but also burdened. He should’ve discussed it with him earlier. Now, with both of their cocks standing at attention, there wasn’t much time to think carefully.

“I think… I’d be happy with anything, as long as it’s with you…”

To buy some time, he prefaced his words with his honest feelings.

“Me too.”

Jinhyun agreed without hesitation.

“…”

“…Choose, quickly. Before I change my mind.”

So they were back to square one.

The position, which he hadn’t considered important, was surprisingly difficult to decide upon.

There must be a reason why the world favored experienced workers. He thought that someone who’d topped before would probably be better at it, but he was also slightly irritated. Moreover, being the bottom involved a lot more to consider. There would be an unavoidable physiological aversion, along with undeniable shame. Various testimonies, a mix of excruciating pain and ecstasy, crowded his mind, urging him to make a decision. And the decision was in his hands. The safe, painless path lay before him. But he wasn’t keen on readily declaring he’d be the top. What should I do? Taeun worried. His stiff penis was still throbbing beneath the blanket. Since Jinhyun was in a similar state, he had to make a decision quickly.

“Hey, then.”

“…”

“Do you want to play rock-paper-scissors?”

He wasn’t comfortable suddenly assigning the painful position to someone he liked. So Taeun sought a common solution. A single match. It seemed fair to both of them to compete properly. It was a decent way out.

“If I win, I’ll be on top, and if I lose, I’ll be on the bottom.”

“…”

“You know, since it’s supposed to hurt… how about as a penalty?”

But Jinhyun’s reaction wasn’t very enthusiastic.

“You won’t regret it? I really don’t mind either way.”

At the unbelievable response, Taeun poked his head out from under the blanket and smirked. The guy who was struggling in a pose reminiscent of a famous sculpture was talking big.

“You were sighing and worrying so much…”

“That was… me organizing my thoughts.”

“How did you organize them?”

“I decided not to be swayed by the means and focus on the goal.”

“…What does that even mean?”

Suddenly, it was proverb time. While Taeun was trying to decipher the rather grand statement in his head, his body was suddenly enveloped in broad arms, along with the blanket.

Then, long legs wrapped around his waist. He felt hard heels near his tailbone. Taeun, wrapped tightly in Jinhyun’s embrace like a silkworm, rested his head lightly on his shoulder and looked up at him, as if waiting for an answer. Jinhyun, like an answer key at the back of a test paper, explained the meaning into Taeun’s ear.

“It means I want to fuck you, no matter what.”

That was the correct answer. He liked the words, neither excessive nor insufficient. Taeun took his hand out from under the blanket and hugged Jinhyun back. He wrapped his arms around Jinhyun’s back, intertwining their fingers and pressing their bodies close. Jinhyun’s firm, muscular chest was more comfortable than the soft pillow. …Is it because he’s mine now? Taeun blushed slightly at the embarrassing thought that popped into his head. He rubbed his temple against Jinhyun’s warm skin, met his eyes, and mumbled,

“I want to fuck you too.”

“…”

The casually spoken reply was like a large boulder to the listener. Jinhyun’s serious expression softened, like a newborn calf.

His wide eyes, like a parent looking at their newborn child. The emotional fluctuation, rarely seen in him, was both welcome and strangely amusing.

“…Are you getting all emotional over something like this? You’re such a pervert.”

“Did I get caught?”

Despite having his inner thoughts completely exposed, Jinhyun wasn’t embarrassed at all.

Rather, he grinned as if pleased that his feelings were understood and asked a question in return. Taeun, without bothering to reply verbally, unclasped their hands and held out his fist. It was a signal to resume their interrupted game.

“Don’t regret it.”

Jinhyun warned, like a final ultimatum.

“A real man doesn’t go back on his word.”

Taeun, also solidifying his resolve, retorted with a dashing bluff.

With a silent agreement, Taeun leaned back, creating some distance, and crossed his arms like a pretzel. The comical act of peering through the gap between his clasped palms like a telescope was both an attempt to read his opponent’s move and a pointless act to heighten the tension of the game.

Oh, I think he’ll choose rock. Or is it paper? Right, it’s paper. Taeun, interpreting the indistinguishable shape as he pleased, quickly read Jinhyun’s first move. Just as Jinhyun finished his preparations and unclasped his arms…

“Wait, instead of rock-paper-scissors… let’s do red light, green light.”

Suddenly, a different game was suggested.

“Why?”

At the unexpected suggestion, Taeun asked for a reason.

“You usually start with rock in the first round.”

“…”

“I’m not that conscientious, so I’m not confident I can be fair and square.”

“…”

…So it was rock, not paper. Taeun, embarrassed to learn about a habit he hadn’t been aware of, awkwardly nodded his head in agreement. At his sheepish consent, Jinhyun chuckled and yielded the lead.

“You attack first.”

Thus, the foundation for their single match was laid. Their expressions, which had held a hint of playfulness, were now covered in tension, like students facing an exam.

“Here I go.”

“Yes.”

Taeun’s heavy voice signaled the start of the serious match, and Jinhyun politely accepted. Finally, the starting whistle blew.

“Red light…”

It was the moment the obscene competition, with the bed as its arena, began.

🔥

It didn’t take long for the bed, transformed into a stadium, to regain its original function.

The match was short. There was no time to savor the joy of victory, the sorrow of defeat, or the lingering feelings of the game. A single match, by nature, didn’t allow for any tricks or regrets. After a brief tug-of-war, in the decisive moment when Taeun’s gaze followed Jinhyun’s long index finger as if mesmerized, Jinhyun pushed him down and swallowed his lips.

At the urgent kiss, Taeun closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Jinhyun’s neck. So this is how it ends up, the slight emptiness and faint fear were fleeting. The regret of defeat vanished with their lips meeting as if they were originally one. He clung to Jinhyun more actively, turning his head and sucking on his lips. The wet, messy sounds quickly revived the subtly erotic atmosphere that had momentarily subsided. He was thirsty. Taeun gulped down his saliva and repeatedly clung to his warm body.

With his eyes closed, other sensations became more acute. He felt every single one of Jinhyun’s restless movements. In the darkness, he could sense the man, now naked, on top of him. Taeun suppressed his rising shyness and cautiously intertwined their legs, aligning their stomachs. Thick pubic hair brushed against the wet skin of his penis. The ticklish sensation made Taeun reflexively let out a low moan. I guess it’s real, a foolish thought crossed his hazy mind. Since the outcome was decided, he wanted to accept it gracefully. He meant it.

Until he opened his eyes involuntarily as his nipple was pinched. Until he saw the club in his field of vision.

What is that?

Taeun’s face hardened like a village guardian post.

Taeun stared up at Jinhyun, who was rummaging through the pockets of the discarded pants. Anxiety filled his eyes. Despite the fact that the object he’d always been curious about, the one hidden beneath Jinhyun’s underwear, was right in front of him, he couldn’t feel the thrill of it.

Jinhyun soon pulled out what he was looking for and easily tore open the packaging. Riiip, the sound of the plastic tearing and the stiff paper box rustling made him swallow involuntarily. Seeing Taeun’s bobbing Adam’s apple, Jinhyun stifled a laugh and poked his cheek with his index finger.

“You said you wouldn’t regret it.”

Holding the newly opened condom casually in his hand.

“…I don’t?”

“Then why that face?”

“What’s wrong with my face?”

“You look like you’re being sold off.”

“I don’t?”

Someone had said that the more you want to affirm something, the more you deny it, and the more you want to deny something, the more you affirm it. Taeun agreed inwardly.

He wanted to accept and embrace the outcome. He thought he could. But faced with the reality, the loser couldn’t stop his childish retorts, like a petulant seven-year-old. Taeun deliberately kept his gaze fixed upwards and stammered. Even a slight glance downwards brought the wicked flesh into his field of vision, amplifying his fear. A vulgar word commonly used to describe that involuntarily popped into his mind.

Horse cock…

It was a horse cock.

The joke, born from the image of something belonging to an animal attached to a human, wasn’t funny to Taeun at all. He couldn’t laugh. He’d guessed it was somewhat large based on the vaguely felt size, but the moment he saw the real thing exposed, he had to question his perception.

It wasn’t just somewhat large. It was very large. It was the largest he’d ever seen, in reality or in any media. He thought his own cock wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, but it was dwarfed in comparison. Of course. Because I’m human.

And he had to put that inside him. Where? Up his ass.

‘He’s putting a horse cock into a human.’

Intercourse between different species was reprehensible. Taeun suddenly began to question the validity of this act.

However, his scattered thoughts were soon submerged and extinguished by the situation. Jinhyun, having emptied the string of condoms onto the bed, pushed up Taeun’s shirt. While being undressed, his eyes rolled towards the scattered condoms and the transparent tube-shaped container by his pillow. The small, ordinary-looking object could easily be mistaken for a facial cleanser. Taeun read the letters written on the surface. Natural… Massage… Warming… The unfamiliar words combined to form an incredibly embarrassing phrase.

“Wh-when did you buy that?”

Taeun asked, speaking close to Jinhyun’s ear as he licked up his neck. They were both completely naked now.

“Last Monday.”

The day Jinhyun had declared he would go home and masturbate. It was as if he had known this would happen, his preparedness was impeccable.

“Both of them?”

“Yeah, I really did my homework.”

“Nn, d-did you… masturbate too?”

His earlobe was nibbled. Then, a tongue invaded his ear canal, as if about to lick his eardrum. In this situation, naked and rubbing against each other, such a question wasn’t even remotely embarrassing.

“Of course… I practiced too.”

Jinhyun answered shortly, exhaled roughly, buried his face in Taeun’s skin, and fumbled around on the mattress. Having found what he was looking for, he slowly raised his torso. Then, placing Taeun’s legs on his thighs, he opened the transparent container of lube. Their groins were pressed tightly together. His heavy shaft and testicles rubbed against Taeun’s penis. Taeun flinched as the thick liquid spilled onto their joined flesh.

Jinhyun, with his back straight, pressed his penis against Taeun’s and grasped it with one hand. As his large hand moved up and down, applying pressure, Taeun twisted his waist as if trying to escape.

“Hey, this, this is weird, weird.”

“What’s weird.”

“Wait… it’s hot, I think it’s hot.”

“Ah,” Jinhyun sighed briefly, as if it was nothing.

“I was a little… out of it then, so I ordered the wrong thing.”

He had intended to order regular lube, but what arrived was a special kind that generated heat on the skin. He hadn’t realized he’d chosen the wrong type and had placed the order anyway. Not returning it, thinking it might not be so bad, turned out to be a decent choice. Jinhyun narrowed his eyes and looked down at the writhing, pale naked body. Taeun’s reaction was quite dramatic.

“Hey, I, I don’t think I like this. Ugh, ah, I want to wash it off.”

“Why… it feels so, so good.”

Taeun’s legs trembled as if receiving a penis. The squelching sound of friction repeatedly pounded his brain. Jinhyun moved his hand quickly, lowered his head, pressed his tongue against Taeun’s erect, apricot-colored nipple, and sucked lightly. Taeun, gripping the sheets like a lifeline, hurriedly covered his mouth, but a whimper escaped through his fingers. Jinhyun licked a path from his heaving ribs to his armpit, then looked up.

Taeun’s trembling chin was both pitiful and arousing, stimulating a dark desire for conquest. Although his marks were already all over Taeun’s upper body, it didn’t feel like enough. He wanted to devour him whole. He moved his hand even faster. Their joined penises pulsed fiercely, their veins bulging. The squelching sound, like splashing in mud, heightened his arousal endlessly.

“Ah, I’m going to cum… augh.”

“I’m not… yet. Wait. Let’s go together.”

At the cruel words, Taeun shook his head fiercely. What, what am I supposed to do, he mumbled. His cute reactions, which invited playful teasing, didn’t disappear even during sex. Jinhyun, unfazed, lifted his index finger and pressed it against Taeun’s urethral opening, blocking it. Taeun, suddenly blocked, thrashed his legs, but it was all in vain under Jinhyun’s restraining weight. His bulging biceps quickened the pumping.

“Nn, let go… ah, I’m going to cum, let go…!”

“Haa…. Just a little longer, huh?”

“You said you were going to cum… earlier…!”

“That’s because… you were sucking me…”

He whispered, intentionally omitting the object of the sentence. The memory of Taeun’s lips wandering over his abdomen suddenly tightened his abs.

That was when it happened. Taeun’s arms, flailing in the air, suddenly wrapped around Jinhyun’s neck and pulled him down. Then, urgent lips sucked haphazardly at his neck, collarbone, and chest. The sight of Taeun struggling to hasten his own orgasm was pitiful and arousing. Taeun pleaded in a wet voice.

“Ah, hurry up and cum, I really… I think I’m going to die…”

“Nn… you want to cum?”

“Yeah, let go, let go, quickly…! Ah!”

At his urging movements, Jinhyun’s arousal reached its peak, and he gritted his teeth. The strength in his rapidly pumping hand suddenly left, and their joined penises spasmed and ejaculated simultaneously. The opaque fluid, released in several spurts, splattered messily across their abdomens.

“Ah…”

Taeun let his arms fall and moaned. The delayed orgasm, forced and untimely, poured a pleasure proportionate to the pain throughout his body. His drained limbs went limp, as if sinking into the ground. His mind went blank, and for a moment, he couldn’t think. His heart seemed to have moved downwards, and his penis, covered in various fluids, throbbed like a wound. His shaft, heated by the friction, was still burning hot.

Where did he even get this… Taeun barely managed to move his teary eyes, feeling a strange thrill. He wanted to check the scattered lube for some reason. He was worried that something might be wrong; the burning, itching sensation in his lower half was frightening. There might be a warning like, Do not rub excessively, in the instructions.

As he fumbled for the lube with his limp arms, a short rustling sound of plastic came from above. His eyes, drifting sideways, naturally followed the sound. Jinhyun had already torn off a single condom from the string and was holding it in his mouth.

What is that?

And Taeun repeated the same thought, like déjà vu.

Jinhyun’s penis, which had just ejaculated simultaneously with his, was already swelling again, as if fast-forwarded.

Without a moment to be shocked, Jinhyun peeled open the condom wrapper and brought it to the tip of his penis. The time it took to unroll the rolled-up plastic over his hardened penis felt long. He then tore off a few more condoms and casually tossed the rest onto the bed.

Putting one of the four or five condoms in his hand onto his finger, Jinhyun glanced around and spoke casually.

“I’ll have to wash the sheets.”

It wasn’t something to say while pushing a finger between someone’s buttocks.

Their position remained the same as when they’d cum. He tried to bring his shamelessly spread legs together, but it was impossible because of the man positioned between them. While Taeun bit his lip hard, anticipating what was about to happen, the sticky lube poured onto his groin again. The location was different from where it had been spread on his shaft earlier.

The thick liquid, squeezed out below the base of his penis, flowed down his perineum. The initially cool sensation soon turned hot, as if heating up. The feeling of his unspeakable place getting hot made Taeun grab Jinhyun desperately.

“Hey, hey, I, I don’t like this.”

“Because it’s hot?”

He nodded quickly without even thinking of speaking. Jinhyun, looking down at his frantic nodding with amusement, kissed his flushed cheek briefly and replied,

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

“Ah…!”

Two lube-coated, condom-clad fingers immediately wandered around his opening, reapplying the spilled lube. They didn’t enter rashly, instead carefully caressing his skin. The meticulous touch was driving him crazy. Taeun shuddered and shook his head.

“Ooh, it’s too, hot… a-ouch, I just, I’ll just do it…!”

“You’ll really get hurt. I’ll buy the non-heating kind next time.”

In other words, he was telling him to endure it this time. Taeun, who had been shaking his head endlessly, suddenly stopped and glared.

“Y-you… bastard, you did this on purpose… nn, to fuck with me…!”

“Don’t be ridiculous? We decided this through a fair and square match.”

He had a point. Taeun agreed logically, but his body didn’t. The afterglow of his orgasm hadn’t even faded yet. Having his sensitive, untouched area caressed with a strange liquid was driving him insane.

Jinhyun kissed Taeun all over, rubbing his lips against his skin as if melting ice with his tongue. His forehead, eyelids, neck, chest, navel, and down one leg, from the back of his knee to his ankle. Taeun thought he was acting like a crazy dog, salivating all over him, but he didn’t have the energy to scold him.

He’d asked for the beginner’s course, but this definitely wasn’t it. It was at least intermediate, no, advanced. It was too much. The tingling sensation washing over him drained his energy. And as if waiting for this moment, thick fingers slowly penetrated his wrinkled opening.

“Huh…”

“…Does it hurt?”

Taeun covered his face with his arms and shook his head again.

It didn’t hurt as much as he’d expected, perhaps because it was only a finger. He just whimpered as he felt the unfamiliar sensation of his entrance stretching. But the uncomfortable foreign feeling was distinct. And embarrassing. He felt like steam was rising from the top of his head. The situation, with his legs wide open and his hole being probed, pushed Taeun to the limits of his shame. He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes.

Soon, the lube-coated fingers began to move, squelching. The heat building inside was intensely vivid. The finger moved in and out at a very slow pace. Just as he was getting used to one, a middle finger joined the index finger, probing his insides. Jinhyun pushed the two fingers deep inside, slightly bent them, and circled the inner walls. At the same time, his thumb on the outside tickled and rubbed his sensitive perineum.

“Nn…”

Taeun’s penis, which had gone limp after ejaculating, was now stiffly swollen, pointing upwards. With each in-and-out motion of Jinhyun’s fingers, the viscosity of the thickly applied lube increased, creating multiple strands. The fingers scissored open, stretching his entrance wide. The opened hole made a vulgar, squelching sound. Taeun was aroused despite the fact that the sound, something he’d only ever heard in porn, was coming from his own body. It was an ecstasy that threatened to consume all his senses.

“Haa…”

Taeun removed his forearm from his eyes, grabbed the pillow, and let out a shaky breath. He wanted to grab onto something. The penetration was smoother than before. As the discomfort faded under the careful caresses, the fingers slipped out, scraping against the upper wall. He was scared that the softened hole, like a ripe fruit, didn’t close completely even after naturally contracting.

“I’m going to put it in now…”

Here it comes. Taeun, fluttering his eyelashes, barely managed to open his eyelids. He tried to look down but stopped. It seemed better not to see.

Jinhyun held and spread Taeun’s knees, positioning him for easy insertion. He lightly held his penis with his other hand. The thick shaft, with its veins standing out like an old tree, looked menacing.

“Raise your hand if it hurts.”

“Are you… a d-dentist…?”

Jinhyun just chuckled without saying anything. Then, lowering his gaze, he carefully aligned the tip of his penis with Taeun’s slightly open, red hole.

At that moment.

Taeun, who had been barely clinging to consciousness, widened his eyes.

I’m dying.

A primal fear, instantly extinguishing all desire, took over Taeun’s mind. With slight exaggeration, it felt like the forehead of an elephant was pressed against his ass. Reality was always crueler than imagination, and it was no different with sex.

There was no way that could fit inside. Taeun raised his hand at the pressing sensation. It was as fast as lightning, like a dental patient who’d just had all their teeth pulled.

“It hurts, I think it hurts.”

“…I’m just touching you.”

“It hurts… my mind hurts.”

His lips moved on their own, not even knowing what he was saying.

The club, which had seemed ready to rip him apart, stopped. Fingers with moderate pressure gently massaged his calves.

“Should I stop?”

It was a gentle voice, as if he’d really back down if Taeun asked him to.

“…”

His head, which he wanted to nod frantically, stiffened for some reason. It didn’t feel right to give up now, after coming this far. In the silence, only his chest heaved rapidly, as if he were drowning. After repeatedly gasping for breath, Taeun slowly lowered his raised hand and held it out.

“H-hold my hand.”

He hadn’t even done this when his mother had dragged him to the hospital as a child. Faced with a life-threatening situation, even shame was a story from another world. Jinhyun intertwined their fingers and held his trembling hand. Taeun, gathering his scattered wits, listed his demands.

“Slowly, you have to do it slowly.”

“Okay.”

“If I tell you to stop, you have to stop immediately.”

“Yes.”

The obedient replies were somewhat comforting. Taeun took a deep breath and forced himself to speak, mustering his nonexistent courage.

“Now… now try putting it in.”

“Okay.”

The paused insertion resumed. His entrance began to stretch, much wider than before.

“Haah…”

His breath caught as the flesh slowly filled him. Beads of cold sweat formed on his forehead from the pressure that felt like it was splitting him in two. It felt like all his internal organs were being crushed. He had to endure it, but it was difficult. Even his clasped hand trembled with the physiological fear and unfamiliar pain. The sheer size, felt only through sensation, was so immense that he was afraid his body would break if he took it all.

Is this really right? Was sex, this act, supposed to be this painful and brutal?

Taeun swallowed his rising doubts. The man in the video he’d watched recently hadn’t seemed to be in pain like this. Rather, intoxicated with ecstasy, he’d moaned and even moved his hips on his own. That’s why Taeun had believed there would be pleasure that outweighed the pain, and that was why he hadn’t been particularly concerned about being the top or bottom. He’d thought he’d be happy no matter what, as long as it was with someone he liked.