Kill Your X Chapter 36

“By the way, it seems like something’s going on at Jerome today. The atmosphere has been different since the last time I was here.”

“I heard there’s some kind of party going on between celebrities in the private lounge.”

“A party?”

I pretended not to know, even though I’d heard it directly from Ma Yubin.

“I don’t know exactly what it is. It seems like you need some kind of entry card to participate. They said an entertainment agency took over, so now celebrities are roaming around Jerome. I heard Ma Yubin is here too, have you seen him?”

“I passed by him for a second.”

I looked up at the stairs leading to the lower floor. Three security guards were guarding the entrance to the private lounge. One of Jerome’s advantages was the near-perfect soundproofing of each space, so the main lounge was no different from usual, making it hard to imagine a party happening downstairs.

“Besides Ma Yubin, did any other celebrities from KNT Entertainment come?”

“Yeah. I saw a few. Their visuals are all insane. Besides the debuted celebrities, some aspiring actors the company is training also came, and they’re amazing too.”

“Did this person come? This person?”

I searched for the KNT Entertainment celebrity list on my phone and showed him. He looked a little bewildered, but he pointed out each celebrity who visited Jerome today, one by one.

“I thought you weren’t interested in celebrities. You flatly rejected that broadcaster who hit on you before. You said you didn’t like someone who was too well-known to the public.”

“I changed my mind. What does that matter when we’re just rolling around together for one night? It’s better if they’re a celebrity, their identity is confirmed. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll buy the drinks today.”

I told the bartender to put the bill on my tab and stood up. The man asked me with a deflated look, “What, Song Gyujin, where are you going?”

“The private lounge.”

“You need a special entry card to get in there.”

I ignored his reply and went to the entrance leading downstairs. The security guards blocked my way, and I took out the card Ma Yubin had given me.

“I’ll escort you downstairs.”

One of them politely guided me. I hadn’t actually been to the private lounge that many times, despite frequenting Jerome for several years. There were parties at the end and beginning of the year, but since my purpose for visiting Jerome wasn’t socializing, I didn’t bother participating. It suited me better to find a suitable partner, make small talk, and go straight to a room from the main lounge.

As I went down the stairs and stood in front of the door, I could feel the vibration of the music. The security guard opened the door for me. I took a deep breath and stepped into a world I didn’t know.

“Wow, you really came?”

Ma Yubin slipped away from the group surrounding him and greeted me. His flushed cheeks indicated he was much more drunk than before.

“Since you kindly invited me.”

“Welcome. Have fun now that you’re here.”

Ma Yubin handed me a welcome drink. As I just stared at the champagne glass with small bubbles rising, he took my glass, filled it, and downed his own in one gulp.

“Why are you so wary? It’s just champagne. Do you think we’ve spiked it or something?”

“No. I’ve already had enough to drink today.”

“Ah, then I won’t force you. Once you’re an adult, you should only do as much as you can handle.”

Had I been too prejudiced? The party they were having was unexpectedly wholesome. Gentle jazz music played in the lounge, and the people gathered inside chatted while drinking just enough to get a buzz. It seemed they held the party here simply because they needed a place to enjoy themselves away from the public eye.

“It’s not much, is it?”

Ma Yubin hit the nail on the head.

“Hmm, you’re right.”

“If you only read the entertainment gossip circulating in the financial district, you’d think we’re some kind of beasts, but people don’t know what they’re talking about. People like us, who have a lot to lose, are too scared to do anything dangerous. At most, it’s just secretly gathering like this and chatting.”

Even though they seemed to be enjoying themselves, people occasionally glanced at Ma Yubin and me. They weren’t hostile, just curious. It seemed they were just surprised that I, who was neither a celebrity nor an aspiring celebrity, was at the party.

“Ma Yubin-ssi, I have a question.”

“What is it?”

Ma Yubin didn’t seem to mind the gaze that scanned me from head to toe. Being exposed to the public was his daily life, so this kind of attention wouldn’t be a big deal to him.

“You said you don’t do dangerous things, does that include sex?”

“Of course.”

He closed the distance and whispered in my ear,

“Not really.”

The eye level slightly looking down at me, the dazzlingly beautiful face. If we had met normally somewhere else, I would have likely been attracted to Ma Yubin. As a one-night stand, of course.

“If we hit it off while playing around, we can hook up as much as we want. It’s not a gathering for the purpose of sex, but as adults, there’s no reason for me to stop them if they want to. Although Seunghan seemed to hate even the sight of it.”

“You’re the celebrity he’s always chasing around, aren’t you?”

Ma Yubin neither confirmed nor denied my question and said something else.

“So, do you hate that? If your goal is to piss off Seunghan, there’s no one more suitable here than me.”

I thought for a moment. I did come to the party with the intention of picking someone up and sleeping with them. However, I was hesitant to choose Ma Yubin for some reason. It wasn’t just because I had seen him making out with my damn first love earlier. I felt like I would regret it later if I ignored my ominous premonition.

“Let’s postpone it for a more dramatic situation. Ma Yubin-ssi has been taking only lead roles in both movies and dramas for quite a while now.”

Since I added flattery, Ma Yubin nodded in satisfaction, despite my indirect rejection.

“Alright then. It’s not like today is the only opportunity.”

“But could you recommend someone? To be honest, I don’t know the people here very well, except for you, Ma Yubin-ssi. And I don’t think they’re all gay.”

Ma Yubin looked visibly delighted. Whether it was exaggerated or not, he had great reactions.

“Wow, Gyujin-ssi, you’re really charming. Is it okay to be so promiscuous with such an innocent face? You’re much bolder than most people in the entertainment industry.”

“If you’re not going to recommend anyone, I’ll just have to try my luck.”

“There, that guy.”

Ma Yubin pointed in one direction with his finger. It was a man drinking alone in the corner.

“Is he a celebrity under KNT Entertainment? I don’t think I’ve seen him before.”

“He is signed to our company, but he’s still a trainee. He used to be an event idol in a small agency, and he joined us not too long ago.”

He looked about twenty-two at most. I hesitated because he looked much younger than I expected, so Ma Yubin added, “That guy, even though he looks like that, is bi, leaning towards gay. He’s not seeing anyone right now, and he’s still a rookie, so he doesn’t know how scary Seo Seunghan is.”

“Thanks for letting me know.”

Well, was there any point in being picky in this situation? I belatedly wet my throat with the welcome drink and approached him. Curious eyes were fixed on me. I put on the most charming smile I could muster and stood next to him. It was a routine I’d done almost every week until I met Si Yeonho.

“Hi, we haven’t met before, have we?”

✽✽✽

Exhaustion washed over me as we finished. It had been a while since I’d spent a night with a stranger, so I couldn’t tell if it was satisfying or not. It might have been because my body had grown accustomed to the less-than-stellar but stimulating sex with Si Yeonho.

“Hyung, are you really a librarian? I can’t imagine you working there.”

“It’s a social mask. Isn’t it the same for you?”

“That’s right. The company is trying to push me as the harmless first love image, and it’s a real pain.”

I chuckled and put the borrowed cigarette in my mouth. Click, my partner lit it naturally. It had been years since I’d last smoked. Had I learned from Kim Minseok when we were dating and quit after we broke up?

“Sigh.”

I inhaled and exhaled the smoke. Back then, I couldn’t understand why people would buy and smoke this stuff, but the bitter scent spreading in my throat felt strangely sweet today.

As I continued making small talk with my partner, I heard a rather loud presence outside the door. Someone was trying to force the door open. Unlike my flustered partner, I leaned back against the headboard, prepared for what was coming. It wasn’t the room I usually used, so the feel of the wood against my bare skin was somewhat unfamiliar.

The door swung open, revealing the person I had been waiting for. The man who was once my lover, the man I almost loved.

“You came?”

He looked around the room and tilted his head slightly. He did the same in the opposite direction, and a chilling gaze landed on me. The faint line between his eyebrows revealed his displeasure. It was all ridiculous.

“You should have come a little earlier. I could’ve included you if things went differently.”

“Get out.”

It was the first time I’d heard him use a commanding tone. My partner hurriedly gathered his clothes, and I realized he wasn’t talking to me.

Soon, we were the only two left in the room. The furniture slightly disarrayed from our vigorous activity, the heavy scent of alcohol and semen mixing in the stale air. It reminded me of the moment we reunited a few months ago, but the feeling was completely different.

“Sunbae.”

The familiar title tightened my chest painfully. I now knew that even that title was a lie.

“Why are you acting like a slut all of a sudden?”