Salt Society Chapter 46

Even after hearing everything, Kihyun, who had only spat out stupid words, wore a dazed face, so Cho Yeonoh, who had not been looking at his face, spoke clearly once again.

“I said I slept with an Omega.”

So Kihyun stopped breathing. Ten thousand thoughts struck his mind. After that, the words he brought out were, even in his own opinion, pathetically miserable. This was because he could not stop the words that were trying to escape his mouth.

“…What… about that…”

At Kihyun’s answer, Yeonoh furrowed his brow. Just like the day he first confessed. Just like when he was enduring dry heaves after hearing Kihyun’s confession. With his eyes turning red and his expression crumpled, it was a face that looked as if he found it so loathsome he couldn’t stand it, yet he couldn’t leave the other person because of lingering affection.

“You don’t understand what that means? I slept with someone else.”

“I… what, what that means…”

Kihyun muttered stupidly. It was Cho Yeonoh’s misunderstanding that he had slept with an Omega. Furthermore, when he had imagined how Cho Yeonoh would act if he found out the truth after that day in Namhae, he had anticipated this kind of reaction. But it wasn’t like this.

Kihyun, well… well, he didn’t want to break up. He had even committed the act of deceiving Yeonoh in order not to break up. But for the result to be this. He couldn’t understand it at all. Eventually, the worst words came out. The moment those words crossed his front teeth and stepped over his lips, even though he knew his pride would come crashing down, he couldn’t stop them.

“But… if I’m okay with it, then it’s fine.”

Cho Yeonoh immediately grimaced at those words. Like a person facing something utterly disgusting.

“Are you in your right mind?”

Those words struck something inside So Kihyun.

In the first place, was this emotion something a person in their right mind has? He himself did not know how many times he had prayed to please be snapped back to his senses.

Since loving Cho Yeonoh was always a pain, he too wanted to forget him quickly if he could. It was because that didn’t work out that he had come to this state. Whether Cho Yeonoh slept with someone, whether that was himself or an Omega who really dropped out of the sky, that wasn’t such an important story.

The truly important part was that the person who spat out “those words” was Cho Yeonoh. Not himself, who had been barely holding on and even squeezing in time to shed tears, but Cho Yeonoh. Even if everyone in the world told him to break up, Cho Yeonoh at least should not have brought up those words.

What was so hard for you? No, forget it. He didn’t even want to know. Something inside was sounding a warning bell that it was broken and would be hard to recover again. Kihyun also had no intention of rebuilding it. Instead, Kihyun opened his lips to ask the last thing he had to confirm.

“You, so… right now, we are breaking up, you’re saying let’s break up…”

Despite having made up his mind, Kihyun’s question did not come out fully. It felt as if the bottom were falling out. Countlessly, and endlessly. The sensation of falling continued to lash against Kihyun’s spine.

His voice was trembling, and it was funny because it sounded exactly like someone else’s. Suddenly, Kihyun found this situation beyond ridiculous. Because unlike himself, who was struggling to reconfirm a situation he somehow couldn’t believe, Cho Yeonoh was just standing in front of him with a face already stripped of emotion, merely watching.

Cho Yeonoh, who declared he would start a relationship while hiding his loathing because he didn’t want to lose So Kihyun; So Kihyun, who obtained more pain than joy from the relationship with Cho Yeonoh yet hid the truth for fear that he would feel loathing at the fact that he had slept with him.

There was a reason why you and I could not abandon each other for a long time and dragged out this weary relationship. So Kihyun and Cho Yeonoh were simply terrible for each other. Kihyun only realized that now.

Eventually, when he let out a “Haha” laugh, Cho Yeonoh looked at Kihyun with bloodshot eyes. As if he couldn’t believe So Kihyun’s laughter.

But even while knowing the fact that the laughter was abnormal, he couldn’t stop it from bursting out. He thought he had wanted it so much, he thought he had wished for it like that. Looking back now, it was all no different from trash.

That exact feeling of having spent a lifetime cherishing things that floated down to the riverbed, thinking they were gold dust, only to realize just now that they were all pebbles that couldn’t even become copper.

So Kihyun was standing alone on a riverbank after a storm had blown through. Alone then, and alone now. It was funny that he only knew that now; because his situation was so funny, he couldn’t help it.

It was a bright smile, truly for the first time in a very long while.

“You…”

Cho Yeonoh opened his mouth as if to call Kihyun. Since the expression on his face was still that of someone who had seen something unbelievable, Kihyun looked at Cho Yeonoh without a word.

And he gazed for a long time. Even if that might be a fleeting moment to someone else, Kihyun looked at Yeonoh until that short time felt like an eternity.

The guy’s brow bone, the bridge of his nose that was straight and well-defined which he always thought was pretty, the single mole on top of it, the deeply carved philtrum, the lip line that showed the guy’s impatient temper or firm corners despite forming a smooth peak, the protruding Adam’s apple, the earlobe he once dreamed he might be able to kiss but later gave up on even that, the wrist and back of the hand where veins were wrapped like vines, the fingers he used to steal glances at.

He took all of those things into his eyes one by one. And then he withdrew his smile. Like a person who had never once smiled. After that, he responded to the notified breakup.

“Cho Yeonoh, our relationship.”

“…”

“Has no meaning anymore.”

Cho Yeonoh’s eyes grew large. Since the guy’s lips were flickering, Kihyun, who had no more words to hear from him today, spoke first.

“This isn’t breaking up.”

Because they had never once loved and missed and cherished each other. Because even if what you felt was affection, it wasn’t love. Therefore, no matter how much So Kihyun alone missed and loved, this kind of thing cannot become a romantic relationship. So Kihyun and Cho Yeonoh have spent a full 7 years keeping that fact hidden from each other. What kind of idiots would continue such a thing for 7 years.

But no matter how stupid one is, if life has a time arranged for realization, Kihyun felt as if he had met his birthday today. Because he finally had the resolve to cut through this stupid loop. Kihyun thought with a desolate heart, yet standing upon a firm resolve.

We have never dated, and therefore, this isn’t breaking up.

“We are breaking our friendship, Yeonoh.”

Kihyun raised the corners of his mouth as if about to smile, but then, unable to go through with it, turned around with an expressionless face.

Someone hurriedly caught Kihyun’s wrist. Even while holding Kihyun’s wrist, he had no words, as if he didn’t know what to say. Kihyun detached the wrist from himself.

“Take care.”

“…”

“…Up until now, you’ve tried hard. You worked hard, Cho Yeonoh.”

Kihyun wanted to reach out and pat Yeonoh on the shoulder. He was grateful to the guy who had dragged a relationship that should have ended 7 years ago all the way to this point. So Kihyun alone must acknowledge Cho Yeonoh’s effort.

Nevertheless.

“Let’s try not to see each other as much as possible.”

He didn’t want to see Yeonoh again. Thus, the hand he was reaching out was withdrawn into the air, leaving only lingering regret. Kihyun turned back as he was. He wasn’t curious about what kind of expression he was wearing behind his back.

He was worried that if they even broke up, he might not be able to breathe, but surprisingly, he walked out of the rooftop on his two feet perfectly fine. He didn’t take the elevator. His ankle throbbed a bit, but it wasn’t to the point where he couldn’t walk down the stairs.

A person who has just broken up must also return to work. Walking down the stairs slowly, Kihyun entered the athlete’s room with a slightly awkward face. Before going to where the athletes in his charge were, he stole a glance at the office and saw that Team Leader Lim was away from his seat.

The truth was that the one whose face was more uncomfortable to see was Team Leader Lim rather than the guy he had just broken up with, so he thought it had turned out well. Except for being slightly dizzy, it was no different from usual. Changwon, who was organizing charts, approached and asked as if checking his mood.

“Mr. So… are you okay?”

“What about?”

When he gave a wide smile, Changwon replied in a hushed voice.

“Team Leader Lim was just called to the director’s office. Ugh, I really don’t know why he’s like that, that man.”

He only nodded his head, asking if that was so. Changwon shook his head and said.

“You’re really a big-hearted person. If it were me, I would have snitched to your friend long ago. Why were you putting up with that.”

“I know, right.”

He agreed with those words. Why did he put up with and endure all of this. Why did he continue this sham-like relationship until now. Despite their relationship continuing for 7 years, the people who knew about it didn’t even exceed ten fingers.

Far from boasting, he had never once spoken proudly about it in front of others. Just like Changwon said, he had never once openly demanded anything from Cho Yeonoh.

In reality, wasn’t it a relationship that maintained a string that seemed ready to snap but didn’t, leaning on Cho Yeonoh’s stubbornness and his own foolishness.

There was nothing to regret. His chest was just cold, as if it were empty.

He organized charts, called in the athletes whose tests were delayed to measure their muscle strength, and sent the list of emergency medicines sent by the teachers out on medical support to the family medicine and rehabilitation medicine departments respectively, requesting them to check for doping-related drugs.

Only after finishing all those tasks did Kihyun end his work for the day. He didn’t put in excessive care, nor did he end it carelessly. He did it exactly as usual.

“Mr. So, aren’t you going home?”

“After I finish this.”