Heavy Rain Chapter 60

Startled, Haejin met his eyes and saw Lyle’s face twisted in distress. He wondered why the man was making such an expression.

“I came to tell you that I will handle it on my own this time, so… do not worry.”

“….”

Lyle’s low voice was thick with deep emotion. However, Haejin, who was too busy chasing away the fear within himself to have any composure, had no skill to read into it.

This was on a completely different dimension from the hospital, which he could endure for a short while. The moment he recalled the starting point where those auditory hallucinations of knocking began, Haejin froze solid. The word “rut” coming from Lyle’s mouth pierced his body painfully.

Inevitably, he harbored a hope. He didn’t want to believe Lyle’s words. Nevertheless, he found himself leaning on those words. Out of fear that he would be miserably dragged to that room again. Out of fear that he would have to swallow his sorrow like breath.

Thus, Haejin paradoxically hoped those words were the truth. A helpless expectation wrapped around him like a shackle.

Haejin, unable to give any particular response, bit his lip while looking at Lyle’s feet again. If he was going to handle it himself, did he find another Omega? Was it really not his intention to tie him to this mansion for the duration of the contract for that purpose?

Lyle stared blankly at him for a moment and then stepped back slightly. He had a painful illusion that the tips of his feet, where Haejin’s gaze fell, were burning away.

“I will not be in this mansion for the next three days, so please rest comfortably.”

Only after he said this did Haejin snap his head up. No sooner had their eyes met again than Lyle averted his gaze. Then, in a manner no different from fleeing, he stepped out of the boy’s room.

As the door closed, Lyle let out a heavy exhale of the breath he had been holding. He had expected it, but the boy’s reaction was stiffer than he had imagined.

Recalling that despairing expression, his entire body strangely felt as if it had turned to stone, unable to budge. He forced his immobile steps to move, distancing himself from Haejin. Because his very existence would be a threat to the boy.

On the day he saw Haejin with sparkling eyes in the library, Lyle felt a quiet ripple rising within him.

However, as time passed, he had to realize that it was a massive delusion. By the time he regained his senses, the quiet ripple had already swept over him like a giant tsunami.

Time and again, he had to struggle as if drowning in a massive emotion. When he closed his eyes, he saw Haejin. After tossing and turning for three days, when he finally fell into a sleep like a faint, the image of Haejin smiling painfully came to mind.

Lyle knew perfectly well that this state was not normal. So, to find the cause, he had not looked at Haejin’s face for several days.

He kept wondering about Haejin’s appearance and wanting to see him. That was why he couldn’t bring himself to visit even more. Because if he put the boy in front of him, he had no room for other thoughts, and he couldn’t judge his own state objectively at all.

Lyle, who had never held such feelings for another person, quickly fell into confusion. Was he being so heavily influenced because his guilt was excessive? Since he had never thought he possessed such a proper conscience and morality, it made even less sense to him.

Then, he suddenly realized that his rut was approaching.

Only then did he suspect that perhaps this was the effect of pheromones. Had he not held onto Haejin and refused to let go in the first place because of the damn pheromone relief? Hope arose that if he spent this rut successfully, his head might clear up a bit.

After forcing himself to conjure hope, the thought suddenly occurred that he should inform Haejin. The boy surely knew his cycle as well. Perhaps he was already falling into fear, thinking he had to leave the mansion out of terror.

However, the moment they actually faced each other, Lyle realized he had simply needed an excuse to visit the boy. Just like the day he came to personally hand the tablet to Haejin.

“Whew….”

Lyle, who had hurriedly reached the mansion entrance, only then looked back once. Whether it was because of the impending rut, Haejin’s scent that had briefly transferred to him just now felt unbelievably sweet.

What he chose this time was not proper pheromone relief. Facing another Omega remained an agonizing task. Recently, Lyle couldn’t even maintain his composure when he had to face an Omega for business reasons.

The disgusting and loathsome feelings toward the dynamic had previously been expressed precariously only as a hatred for Omegas. This was despite the fact that Lyle himself was a dominant Alpha, the very symbol of the dynamic.

However, the self-loathing that had finally spread to him on the day he did that terrible thing to Haejin again now weighed heavily on his heart, no longer able to maintain balance.

It was a sprout planted by Haejin and bloomed by the rainwater. Lyle found it increasingly difficult to bear the hatred toward himself that had grown so rapidly.

So, he chose to be hospitalized for the entire duration of the rut. While hospitalized, he would force his body to sleep with sleeping pills to resolve the pheromones. All while being administered medications for relief that were not exactly good for the body.

It was rather a relief. It had already been several days since he couldn’t sleep due to thoughts of Haejin. Since there would be a three-day work vacuum, Lyle spent his time processing the work that had been piling up like crazy.

Just before getting into the car, he inadvertently looked back again. He felt a deep sense of regret as Haejin’s lingering scent, still thick, gradually scattered into the air.

Lyle had a dream. It was a dream of walking endlessly through a city dyed in shades of gray.

After finishing his work, he headed straight to the hospital. A special hospital room for him had been prepared on the top floor of the hospital Haejin had also visited.

Until the very end, his primary doctor recommended that he resolve his pheromones with an Omega, even if he felt nauseous. That was how dangerous the drugs that forcibly disrupted pheromones were to the body. However, Lyle shook his head once and lay down on the bed.

He simply couldn’t stand the thought of physical contact with anyone other than Haejin; it was unbearable. He couldn’t calmly analyze this state, which even felt like guilt, with a head beset by a splitting headache.

As he lay on the cold hospital bed, he suddenly thought of Haejin. He wondered exactly what the boy’s heart was feeling when he stared at the hospital ceiling with empty eyes.

Feeling the sensation of the sleeping pill digging into his arm, Lyle fell asleep.

When he opened his eyes again, he was walking down a street. The city, where it rained often, looked fitting for the rain.

The street, entirely dyed in gray, was a place where even the people coming and going looked as insensitive as characters in a black-and-white movie. Lyle, having permeated that street, walked forward slowly. Endlessly, without knowing where or why he was going.

Suddenly, an umbrella popped out from the side. Turning his dry gaze, he saw his secretary with a familiar face holding out the umbrella. Come to think of it, there were a few more people walking with him in his surroundings. He realized that a thick coat was even draped over his shoulders.

It was a strange thing. Aside from things being a bit unusual lately, Lyle didn’t usually dream often. At any rate, it had nothing to do with him, so he kept walking.

Only the sound of heavy rain could be heard in his ears. This was despite the fact that although it was raining, it wasn’t that large an amount. Lyle just took this as it was.

As he walked, the raindrops began to grow thicker. It finally looked fitting for the sound of the rain that had felt like it would deafen his ears all along. The people who had been moving through the streets like dolls also vanished as if melted by the rain. Thus, Lyle was left alone in the desolate, gray city.

The moment he walked forward like that, he suddenly saw a rainbow-colored haze in the air.

“….”

As if bewitched, he moved his steps following that haze. Looking at the rainbow that was waiting for him as if on purpose, he realized he had walked all this way to see this.

The haze was so faint that it was not easy to recognize. Furthermore, because the heavy rain was falling, it felt like it would disappear instantly if he took his eyes off it for even a moment.

He felt a sense of urgency. Lyle gradually quickened his slow steps, following the haze. That rainbow-colored thing had an appearance that stood out far too much in this gray city. He even felt a sudden fear that if other humans saw it, they would covet it just like him.