Struggle Chapter 151

Lee Taerok grabbed Nanyoung’s wrist. Heat rose between their touching skin as if a chemical reaction were taking place.

Nanyoung shook off his hand as if flinging it away. Then he fidgeted with it repeatedly and averted his gaze. Lee Taerok tilted his head and whispered.

“Didn’t you miss your uncle?”

Nanyoung glanced at his parents, then murmured sulkily.

“Stop asking when you already know.”

Lee Taerok, whose facial muscles had seemed frozen stiff in an expressionless mask, was now smiling more than the sum of all the smiles he’d mustered in the past several days—ever since the car pulled in.

Kim Saon came outside to greet the guests. As they were already acquainted, they exchanged pleasantries and briefly asked after each other. After confirming the three had entered first, Lee Taerok grasped Nanyoung’s shoulder and bent down.

Just as he did when caught at a red light or stuck in sluggish traffic, he kissed Nanyoung. At the very brief stolen kiss, Nanyoung nearly jumped out of his skin.

“You drank orange juice.”

Like a child.

Lee Taerok smiled.

Nanyoung felt as if he might collapse.

He was already in hell just being with him. And he had decided to live here together with him. A distant fear bloomed that there might be places to fall even further.

What frightened him most, however, was that he still didn’t want to avoid him.

Just at one of his smiles.

∞ ∞ ∞

The interior was decorated predominantly in black, and the large table for four was a round one.

Nanyoung and Lee Taerok sat side by side; Nanyoung’s mother was to his left, and Taerok’s brother took the seat to his right.

The courses proceeded at a pace matching the four diners. The amount on Nanyoung’s plate was clearly less than Taerok’s. Noticing this, Nanyoung’s mother asked.

“It looks like they’ve portioned it to Nanyoung’s appetite. Are you a regular here?”

“Uh, uncle brought me here from time to time.”

Even though it wasn’t a lie, it felt like one—probably because there were things weighing on his conscience.

Taerok offered Nanyoung an alcoholic accompaniment. It was a traditional liquor, with an alcohol content around that of soju, but its finish, taste, and aroma were easier on the palate.

“The first place I ever dined out with Nanyoung was here as well.”

“…”

“I brought him because I wanted to get close to Nanyoung.”

Nanyoung’s parents, without a single twisted thought or shadowed corner in their minds, were simply delighted.

Nanyoung silently emptied his plate.

“Oh? That’s such a relief. I feel even more at ease now. You really do seem close. I was worried you might be losing your own time taking care of Nanyoung….”

“Nanyoung is a child who requires very little looking after. I wish he would require a bit more and lean on me a little.”

Shameless…. He’d known it all along, but Lee Taerok truly was an extraordinarily thick-skinned person. To have such a face, like a tempered blade, and yet behave so shamelessly—if he weren’t born with it, it would be hard to manage.

Yet, oddly enough, Nanyoung found the tension gradually easing because of that attitude. He didn’t know if it was because he was utterly exhausted from the stolen kiss a moment ago, or because Lee Taerok was acting so utterly nonchalant that his own attitude became, “Well, I don’t care anymore either.”

One thing was certain: being with Lee Taerok was far better for his mental health than being alone.

Now and then, Kim Saon came out to ask about the food. As always, it was superb. With all four partaking, one bottle of the traditional liquor they’d opened for drinks was quickly emptied. What he brought out next was a champagne Kim Saon had been saving. As he’d confidently asserted, it would pair beautifully with the sea bass dish, and it was indeed a perfect complement to the main course.

The atmosphere ripened as they shared all sorts of stories. Amidst it, Nanyoung grew languid as the alcohol began to circulate. His eyelids started drooping as if he might fall asleep at any moment. But one simply cannot doze off at the dinner table. It was just as Nanyoung adjusted his grip on his fork.

“…!”

The languid drowsiness washed over him fled in an instant. Beneath the table, Lee Taerok had seized Nanyoung’s hand.

“…So, thinking I’d been skunked, the very moment I decided to head back, I got a bite.”

His father was absorbed in telling his deep-sea fishing story. His mother was also listening with sparkling eyes, recalling the time. Lee Taerok was properly chiming in, focused on the two of them.

At least, above the waist.

His fingers were like five serpents, and his palm was like a pressing boulder. Having rubbed Nanyoung’s hand, his fingers unfurled and interlaced with Nanyoung’s. As if clasping hands wasn’t enough, he occasionally rubbed his palm against Nanyoung’s, the way he did during gentle, afterplay-like sex.

Naturally, the times his body mingled with Lee Taerok’s came to mind. Every time their joined palms rubbed together, it felt as if fire would ignite.

“You caught a big one. Do you have a photo?”

Taerok asked casually. Even while speaking, he held Nanyoung’s hand. Now he pulled that hand and placed it on Nanyoung’s own thigh. Nanyoung couldn’t hear a thing. All conversation felt like someone else’s business. As if the space itself had become detached.

“Impressive.”

Having looked at the photo, Taerok offered the appropriate remark and passed it along.

A family photo with Nanyoung in the center appeared. He glanced at the three who looked so much alike, then chuckled. He sent it to his own cell phone and returned it to his brother.

“Nanyoung resembles his mother and you a lot, now that I see.”

At that, Nanyoung’s father burst into laughter.

“Really? Maybe it’s because it’s been a while, but while traveling with Nanyoung, I thought he’d come to resemble you quite a bit.”

“I don’t think we look very alike.”

“Sometimes, listening to him talk reminds me of you. Seems living together makes people grow alike.”

Lee Taerok released Nanyoung’s hand. Nanyoung stretched out his numb hand and clenched it. Still, it tingled as if electricity had run through it.

He thought the man’s hand would simply leave, but it didn’t. It traveled toward Nanyoung’s knee and cupped the round bone. Lee Nanyoung’s knee was one of the parts Lee Taerok favored.

“Then I must have picked up some resemblances to Nanyoung too.”

“…”

“I wouldn’t really know myself, so next time, Nanyoung, you look for me.”

Lee Taerok spoke very affectionately, as if addressing a small child.

Instead of answering, Nanyoung swallowed his drink.

After the meal, a light flush of intoxication had risen on Nanyoung’s face. Lee Taerok let Nanyoung lean against him. Drunk as he was, Nanyoung couldn’t push him away and leaned his whole body against him. Very naturally.

“I’ll take him with me today. I’ve already moved Nanyoung’s luggage in advance.”

Right after he’d paid and said he’d step out for a moment, he had moved the luggage. Having said that much, and having spent time together up to now, the couple readily agreed. It happened to be Saturday, anyway, and once the fleeting Sunday passed, Nanyoung would have to go to school.

“Lee Nanyoung.”

Taerok called Nanyoung’s name.

His voice was close to a whisper. The couple—particularly Nanyoung’s mother—felt that the sound was strangely ticklish. But according to common sense, she immediately erased the suspicion. It was that nonsensical a notion, and they were family. The sense of déjà vu disappeared before it could even form into a thought constructed of sentences.

“Your parents are leaving. You should say goodbye.”

Nanyoung opened his eyes drowsily. He looked at Taerok with unfocused eyes, and, out of absent-minded habit, nearly reached out his arms to ask for a kiss.

Fortunately, he was not that incapacitated. Nanyoung stood up straight, swaying, and bowed deeply. Unaware of how far he was bending, Lee Taerok supported his back from the side.

“Goodbye….”

Such impeccable manners.

Taerok twisted the corner of his mouth upward as if mocking.

“Good night….”

“Yes. You sleep well, too, Nanyoung.”

Nanyoung nodded repeatedly, his eyes nearly closed. Taerok, who had used the supporting hand to pull Nanyoung’s waist and tuck him into his side, asked.

“Still, a son past twenty. Does he still seem like such a baby to you?”

“In my eyes, he always is. You’ll understand once you have a child of your own.”

That probably won’t ever happen. Since my lover can’t bear children.

But he felt he understood the sentiment, at least.

“I think I know even without having one.”

Taerok said, still wearing his subtly crooked smile.

“Because in my eyes too, he’ll probably always seem like a baby.”

Nanyoung opened his eyes at the feeling of an arm sliding under his armpit.

He didn’t even know when his seatbelt had been unfastened.

“What about my parents?”

Nanyoung asked in a damp, slurred voice. Lee Taerok answered, lifting Nanyoung entirely into his arms.

“They left.”