Sunshine Shower Chapter 114

I don’t know how I made it back to the officetel.

“Haa…”

Moon Seoyoon sat on the edge of a chair and exhaled as he pressed his eyelids firmly. A wave of exhaustion hit him all at once.

The moment he told Woo Yeonjae they should end things, the rain stopped. Or maybe it had stopped before that. It had started so subtly that he hadn’t noticed, and it passed by just as quietly, like a sunshower.

Woo Yeonjae didn’t react much. He just folded his umbrella under a steady gaze, perhaps aware that the rain had stopped.

Moon Seoyoon didn’t regret the confession he had impulsively spat out. If Woo Yeonjae hadn’t known his feelings, it would be different, but Woo Yeonjae was fully aware of who Moon Seoyoon had been in love with. The doubt that had lingered was quickly replaced with certainty the moment he saw Woo Yeonjae’s rare expression of discomfort.

At that moment, he’d been nervous, unsure of what Woo Yeonjae might say in response. However, Woo Yeonjae chose silence instead of words.

As usual, the two walked the path and returned to the officetel together.

Having walked this route before, their steps on the rain-soaked ground felt entirely natural.

Their relationship wasn’t so awkward that the silence suffocated them, and the quiet didn’t weigh heavily on them.

What was I thinking? Even though the confession popped out like a water droplet, strangely, his mind was completely clear. He remembered simply breathing in the fresh air as he walked, feeling as though the suffering he’d endured had been a mere dream, washed away cleanly.

Suddenly, he wondered what Woo Yeonjae had been thinking.

‘So you did hear my voice.’

It was right when they reached the officetel.

Thinking it would seem more conscious of the situation if he entered the room without saying anything, Moon Seoyoon slowly opened his mouth.

‘I’m going to my room to sleep a bit. Maybe because I drove for so long yesterday, I’m tired.’

My room. Without even realizing it, he had naturally separated his space from Woo Yeonjae’s. Along with that, he barely managed to cover up last night’s sex by using the excuse of driving.

‘Got it. Rest.’

Woo Yeonjae’s voice was brief, just a short answer. It was so brief and concise that it was difficult to grasp any emotions within it.

Even though Moon Seoyoon had calmly said that he was folding his feelings along with the confession, after their eyes first avoided each other, the courage to face Woo Yeonjae again melted away like snow. It had been the same while they walked along the path, in the elevator at the officetel, and even when they entered the same space. Once again, instead of making eye contact, Moon Seoyoon went straight into his room.

Having not faced Woo Yeonjae since the confession, he had no idea what expression he had made or what emotions and thoughts were reflected on his face.

“What should I do now…”

It seemed that the clear air of a rainy day had briefly swept away his distracting thoughts.

Whether it was because he was now in an enclosed space or because he had finally expressed the feelings he’d held onto for seven years, his mind felt dizzy as the reflection set in.

What Moon Seoyoon had declared was the end of a relationship, not the end of his emotions.

It was just the end of a one-sided relationship—a secret love.

If his feelings could be so easily cut off with a single declaration, he wouldn’t have dragged them along for seven long years.

‘Still, from now on…’

He thought he would try to make an effort to let go of his feelings.

There must have been a reason why Woo Yeonjae had remained silent.

Moon Seoyoon still didn’t understand why Woo Yeonjae had chosen silence, despite knowing his feelings. He could only guess at parts of it.

Perhaps thanks to pressing down on his eyelids, tears didn’t come. After all, he’d cried so much yesterday that his tear ducts might be dry. Moon Seoyoon slowly inhaled, as if swallowing a sigh.

‘It would be better if you liked me.’

Did Woo Yeonjae think he was lucky that things turned out this way?

Maybe from Woo Yeonjae’s perspective, the situation wasn’t all that bad. After all, it would be safer to be liked by him than by a man who couldn’t guarantee anything. Perhaps Woo Yeonjae had chosen to ignore his feelings in the hopes that the relationship would eventually settle into its place.

‘At least he seems to want to keep the friendship… That’s a relief.’

Despite everything, Moon Seoyoon couldn’t help but feel reassured. It didn’t seem like Woo Yeonjae had any intention of cutting off their friendship.

That must be why he pretended not to know about his feelings. Woo Yeonjae was the type who was clear about beginnings and endings in relationships. If someone no longer suited him, he would cut them off without hesitation. So, the fact that he chose silence meant he was willing to let this pass.

If Woo Yeonjae had made it obvious that he knew about Moon Seoyoon’s feelings, a time would eventually come when their relationship had to be redefined. While Moon Seoyoon had no intention of begging Woo Yeonjae for the same feelings, he was still only human. The desire that had unknowingly grown inside him might swallow his decency and, in the end, cause him to lose his dearest friend.

‘Especially considering the sex…’

If a temptation like that approached again, he wasn’t sure he could make a different choice.

“…”

Moon Seoyoon dropped the hand that had been pressing against his eyelids onto his thigh. Lacking the strength to hold up his head, he lowered it, and his eyes fell on his hand, resting there haphazardly.

There was a time when I thought of unrequited love as being just like playing the piano. Even if you haven’t touched it for a long time, once you press a key, your hands move instinctively. I believed that feelings worked the same way. No matter how hardened your heart may become, the moment you face that person, it softens easily.

‘There won’t be any more piano playing from now on…’

As long as I don’t press the keys, there will be no need to play.

Feelings were no different.

If I make an effort to suppress them now, I can harden my heart somehow. Until it’s shattered with a single blow and the pieces become unrecognizable. What remains won’t be soft, tender feelings anymore, but fragments that can never return to their original form.

No matter how deeply ingrained the instinct may be, time will pass, and as long as I don’t deliberately start again, the feelings will gradually fade away.

Is it possible?

It must be possible.

Moon Seoyoon slowly lifted his head and leaned back against the chair. The spacious room before him, incomparable to his old dorm room, filled his view.

As he blankly gazed at the familiar surroundings, he picked up his phone. He couldn’t stay here any longer without feeling shameless.

* * *

Woo Yeonjae punched in the password late in the evening.

For the past few days, he had made himself scarce. It was obvious that being in the same space would make Moon Seoyoon uncomfortable.

‘Also, if we ran into each other, I wouldn’t be able to hold back.’

Strictly speaking, it wasn’t out of consideration for Moon Seoyoon; it was out of selfishness. If he lost control and scared Moon Seoyoon, it would be Woo Yeonjae who’d suffer.

That didn’t mean he left the officetel entirely. He simply followed a routine: heading to the boxing gym early in the morning and only returning when Moon Seoyoon left for his part-time job.

Moon Seoyoon, being kind, seemed to have faithfully eaten the breakfasts and lunches he left behind. The signs were clear—like the running of the dishwasher.

Woo Yeonjae kept organizing his thoughts. Even while exercising, his mind was filled with the need to define the relationship between him and Moon Seoyoon.

What exactly was supposed to stop? The object of that sentence was still unclear, but the outcome mattered more.

He tossed his workout clothes into the laundry room and stood in front of Moon Seoyoon’s door. This wasn’t something he could decide on his own.

He opened the door without knocking.

“…”

His dark eyes, framed by sharp lashes, slowly scanned the room.

“Hah.”

His lips twisted into a crooked smirk. The heat he had suppressed through relentless physical exertion began to simmer again.

Feeling the dizzying spin in his head, Woo Yeonjae took a slow breath.

There was no trace of Moon Seoyoon anywhere in the room.

* * *

As he collapsed onto the bed, the familiar ceiling came into view. Though there were no patterns, Moon Seoyoon blinked slowly, as if counting them.

He had moved into the dormitory as soon as he learned that he could check in a few days before the semester started. Thanks to having his car from home, moving his belongings had been relatively easy.

Staring blankly at the ceiling, he groped for his phone. There was hesitation in the way his hand hovered over the screen.

How long had it been? After a brief moment of contemplation, Moon Seoyoon pushed the hesitation aside, along with the phone’s screen. A few messages had piled up, but none were from Woo Yeonjae.

“Haa…”

A sigh escaped on its own. After hesitating for a long time, Moon Seoyoon finally opened the message app.

[I’m at the dorm now.]

The message he sent to Woo Yeonjae filled the screen. He had sent it a few days ago, but there was still no reply. He wasn’t sure if he was waiting for an answer or hoping for no response at all. His feelings were tangled.

After another sigh, Moon Seoyoon slowly sat up. The hand that set down the phone finally covered his face. His fallen hair brushed against his fingers, but he didn’t have the energy to push it away.