Sunshine Shower Chapter 115

“This isn’t something I should be avoiding like this.”

Moon Seoyoon knew it wasn’t the right approach. Unless he had decided to completely cut ties with Woo Yeonjae, he needed to address the things he had said in a conversation. Apologizing for causing concern and saying he was sorry for being a distraction would have been the right thing to do.

‘He even slept with me because of my feelings.’

Unrequited love couldn’t be called a sin. If you forced your feelings onto someone, then maybe it could be wrong, but otherwise, it was just a delicate emotion.

However, Moon Seoyoon thought his feelings could be sinful. It was fortunate that he was caught before his desire grew out of control, but he still felt guilty that even a small part of his longing led his childhood friend to suggest sleeping together.

Woo Yeonjae never showed any discomfort with sex, but it wasn’t something that commonly happened between same-gender friends. Since Moon Seoyoon had complicated things, he should have been the one to resolve them, yet his choice had been to avoid the situation altogether.

“It’s not avoidance. It’s running away…”

He muttered to himself, filled with self-reproach.

Running away was a more accurate term than avoidance. Just as he fled to the military because he couldn’t bear his father’s affair or face Woo Yeonjae, who had found a girlfriend, he was once again choosing to run.

He knew this wasn’t a problem that could be solved by running away, but having already done so made it hard for him to reach out to Woo Yeonjae. If only Woo Yeonjae had responded, maybe then they could have continued their conversation and eventually met in person. But it seemed as though Woo Yeonjae had noticed his intentions and wasn’t giving him that chance.

‘Of course, Woo Yeonjae must be baffled.’

After confessing his feelings out of the blue, he left only a vague statement about ending things before disappearing to the dormitory. It would be natural for Woo Yeonjae to be confused. At the time, Moon Seoyoon had thought it was the best course of action, but looking back, it might have been the worst.

Moon Seoyoon knew that Woo Yeonjae had been giving him space by leaving in the mornings. Even though he had no appetite, he forced himself to eat the meals Woo Yeonjae left behind because he couldn’t bring himself to throw away the care that was offered.

As soon as the dormitory opened for check-ins, he moved his belongings there.

Perhaps Woo Yeonjae was planning to talk to me over the weekend. This rational thought only came to Moon Seoyoon several days after moving into the dorm. With no part-time job and some time passing since the abrupt end, Woo Yeonjae might have felt that he had waited long enough.

‘But I ran away again.’

It wasn’t until he realized how much his emotions had overwhelmed him that the regret came crashing down.

“Ha…”

Moon Seoyoon let out another long sigh as he slowly lowered the hands covering his face.

The semester was about to start, and Woo Yeonjae would spend most of his time in the business department. For now, all Moon Seoyoon could hope for was to run into him by chance. Maybe then, he could finally bring up the conversation and make things right, however vague that hope felt.

* * *

“Oppa!”

A cheerful voice made Moon Seoyoon turn around instinctively. Song Jua was running toward him, radiating excitement.

“Jua. It’s been a while.”

“It really has! If you were still working at the café, I would’ve seen you yesterday.”

“Is the café still busy? How’s work?”

He asked awkwardly, forcing a smile.

“It’s busy because of the start of the semester, but I’m fine since I’m working with a close friend. She used to work at a franchise café, so she’s good at it.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Though no one works as well with me as you did, oppa.”

Song Jua wrinkled her nose playfully as she grinned. Since Moon Seoyoon had quit the café, they probably wouldn’t be seeing each other often unless they met by chance.

Moon Seoyoon had quit the café just before the start of the semester. It had been something he had been thinking about for a while, and he had informed the owner ahead of time, so the handover process had been smooth. Coincidentally, Song Jua’s friend had been looking for a part-time job at the right time.

“I really enjoyed working with you, oppa. It’s a shame. Are you going to focus on studying now?”

“Hmm, kind of…”

Moon Seoyoon scratched the back of his neck.

He didn’t have any clear goals for the semester. It was more that he had decided it wouldn’t hurt to change up his environment a bit. Quitting his part-time job wouldn’t make his feelings for Woo Yeonjae disappear, but if he continued working, he would likely be reminded of Woo Yeonjae sitting in the corner of the café.

‘And that would only make me think about him more.’

If they met directly, it would be one thing, but he didn’t want to dwell on Woo Yeonjae’s absence and relive those moments over and over again. Cutting ties with anything related to Woo Yeonjae might help him sever the emotional connection as well.

“You really are diligent.”

Song Jua chuckled as she checked her phone and waved.

“I got a message from my friend, so I have to go. See you next time!”

“Yeah. See you next time.”

Watching her walk away, Moon Seoyoon turned toward the dormitory.

Despite thinking he would run into Woo Yeonjae at least once after the semester started, it was surprisingly difficult. Even though they were in the same building, they didn’t share the same major, making it harder to cross paths. Last semester, if their schedules hadn’t lined up, spending time together would have been just as challenging.

“…”

As he thought this far, a strange feeling washed over him. Shaking his head, Moon Seoyoon realized he had to make an effort to consciously stop thinking about Woo Yeonjae if he wanted to distance himself. Only then, even briefly, could he focus on something else.

However, as if to prove that his efforts were useless, Woo Yeonjae came to Moon Seoyoon’s mind once again.

‘From what I’ve heard, it seems like he’s still attending his classes regularly.’

Even though he didn’t want to know, rumors would often reach him while he was in the business school. Especially the younger members of the student council, who knew he was close with Woo Yeonjae, liked to share bits of information.

Thanks to that, Moon Seoyoon knew that Woo Yeonjae was doing fine. It was strange that there hadn’t been any response to his messages, but in a way, he understood. It must be awkward.

“Sigh…”

As a headache set in, making him frown, he suddenly felt a push forward as a long arm hooked around his shoulder.

“Why the gloomy face?”

It was, of course, Nam Taeun.

“I guess I’m just tired since the semester started.”

Moon Seoyoon forced a faint smile and gave a passable answer.

“You’re not just thinking about something pointless, are you?”

As they entered the dorm, the elevator arrived at just the right moment. Walking inside, Moon Seoyoon glanced at Nam Taeun, who was staring at him with a knowing look.

“Thinking about it won’t change anything, Seoyoon.”

“…I know.”

“If you know, then stop thinking about it.”

Moon Seoyoon had confided in Nam Taeun about what happened with Woo Yeonjae.

He had listened quietly without saying much. All he did was pat Seoyoon’s shoulder a couple of times, telling him he’d made the right decision. Though Seoyoon couldn’t bring himself to tell him about the sex, leaving gaps in the story, Nam Taeun seemed to understand his emotional state well enough.

“It’s just that it’s not something I can stop thinking about.”

“I know the perfect solution.”

“What is it?”

Their eyes met, and a mischievous grin spread across Nam Taeun’s face.

“Exhaust yourself.”

“Are you insane, hyung?”

Moon Seoyoon barely managed to hold back harsher words. He was so out of breath that he could only take shallow breaths, which was fortunate. Otherwise, something worse might have slipped out instead of “insane.” Nam Taeun, seeming to pick up on this, snickered.

“The best way to stop overthinking is to wear your body out.”

Moon Seoyoon had guessed that Nam Taeun’s idea of “exhaustion” involved exercise, but he hadn’t expected it would involve this much running. As he gulped down the water Taeun handed him, he struggled to catch his breath.

“Seriously, anyone watching would think you’re a physical education major.”

Nam Taeun laughed again. He had always been the type to enjoy physical activity, often playing soccer during their time in the military, but Moon Seoyoon had never imagined he’d be this intense.

Though autumn was approaching, the air was still hot. Moon Seoyoon wiped the sweat off as best he could and handed the half-empty water bottle back to Nam Taeun.

“Your stamina’s gone to trash, Seoyoon. You weren’t this bad back in the military.”

Taeun drained the remaining water in one go and tossed the empty bottle into the trash. Watching him, Moon Seoyoon frowned.

“I’m not that bad. And do you exercise all the time, hyung?”

“You have to if you want to survive.”

Nam Taeun suddenly turned serious, muttering something cryptic.