Foot Worship Chapter 32

I rubbed my face slowly with both hands. Perhaps because of the cold wind, I couldn’t feel my face. When I slapped my frozen cheek, the person in front of me grabbed my wrist firmly. My wrists are really having a rough time today. I blinked, laughing foolishly. Hmm? But the face right in front of me looked familiar. In an instant, my pupils dilated, and without thinking, I shook off the hand that was holding me.

“…Jer-Jerome?”

My vision wasn’t clear. Unable to overcome the annoyance, I rubbed my eyes vigorously, but the other person grabbed my hand again to stop me. He put my hand into my padded jacket pocket and cupped my cold cheeks with both hands.

“Just how much did you drink to be sleeping here? Whew, where are your companions?”

The voice worrying about me was definitely Jerome’s. There was the smell of alcohol somewhere, but it was ambiguous whether it was coming from me or Jerome. I rubbed my lips and opened my eyes wide. Only then did Jerome’s face become vaguely visible.

“Why are you crying?”

Who said I was crying? I took my hand out of my pocket and felt my face. My cheeks were truly damp and wet. My already cold cheeks felt even colder. I hurriedly wiped away the tear tracks with my hands and lowered my head. But once I realized I was crying, strangely, I couldn’t control my emotions. Every time I blinked, tears fell in a rush, creating small stains on the floor.

I should respect and accept Jerome’s decision, but it wasn’t working. It was hard to forget him because I had felt an attraction to him as a person, even more than a sexual one. Deep down in my heart, a heavy regret remained, making it impossible to give up.

All I could do was stare at my phone, which never rang, and then pass out from being dead drunk like this. I couldn’t even bring myself to call him. I was afraid he would dislike it.

“You said you don’t cry often—that was a lie.”

“I remembered. The time my lips were torn—it was because of the cigarette. It’s the truth.”

“…”

“My friends are actually really terrible. But,”

“…”

“…Jerome, can’t you at least be friends with me? Just contact each other sometimes, eat a meal. Ah, Mister, so this was the feeling of wanting to see you even like this.”

I was so drunk that I didn’t even realize what I was saying. Jerome took a handkerchief out of his back pocket and placed it in my hand. The scent of his perfume was deeply ingrained in the handkerchief. I smiled foolishly because I liked the soft feeling against my face.

“Do you know how I felt back then?”

“…Yes. Because you liked me, that’s why you wanted to be friends, right? I’m sorry for not knowing.”

“Ha, what on earth…”

I gripped the collar of Jerome’s shirt tightly as he stood up while brushing his hair back in annoyance, and I shook my head. The waves of longing and regret surging from deep within my heart kept me from sleeping. When I closed my eyes, the time we spent together passed by like a panorama. But once I came to my senses, both the good times and the regretful moments felt like a shattered dream.

Goo Jihoon had scolded me for making a scene, saying that anyone watching would think it was a love for the ages, but this was my first time feeling such an affectionate and desperate heart. I really, to a strange degree, liked him.

“That’s right. The reason I asked to be friends back then was because I liked you too much. If we could at least be friends, I could see you whenever I wanted to.”

“Then why did you dump me?”

“Because play isn’t a joke. Even if you didn’t intend it, I could have hurt you with my own hands if things went wrong. I thought that if something that causes guilt even toward someone you have no feelings for were to happen to you, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“…I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

“No matter how much I like you, this is putting your life on the line—haah… You’re so drunk you won’t even remember this, so what am I saying right now.”

The sound of his voice repeatedly moved away and came closer. I looked up at Jerome with half-closed eyes. Jerome lowered himself to sit and gently cupped my cheeks. I was reflected in his long-missed turquoise eyes.

“Jerome, be friends with me.”

“You won’t remember it anyway.”

“…”

“I’m starting to understand what you were saying a little bit. How am I supposed to eat or talk on the phone with someone whose face alone makes me get an erection?”

Suddenly, I felt like I was floating, and I started to stagger somewhere. My body kept swaying, so I felt sick. My muddled mind flickered. Soon, my body was deeply pushed onto something soft, and a voice sounded in my ear.

“Park Beomjin, you asked for a chance. I’ll give you that chance now.”

“…”

“Call me when you sober up and remember. And say just one thing.”

“…”

“Tell me to tie you up.”

∞ ∞ ∞

My senses began to return along with a horrific hangover that felt like my head was splitting in half. I scrunched up my face and looked around. Before I could even feel relieved at the familiar landscape of my room, my stomach turned violently. I immediately clamped my hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom. Only after holding onto the toilet and vomiting for a long time did I crawl out like a zombie and collapse on the floor. My throat stung every time I swallowed, likely because it was swollen.

Ah, I’m dying. I wanted to wash up, but I didn’t have the strength to lift a single finger. Realizing belatedly that I was naked without a single thread on me, I grabbed my forehead. To deal with the cold covering my body, I pulled a rug placed in front of the bathroom and covered myself with it.

When I inadvertently rubbed my eyelids, I felt swollen lumps of flesh. Come to think of it, it was a bit uncomfortable to close and open my eyes. What is this. Did I cry? I was startled and sat up, but I immediately groaned and lay back down on the floor.

If I could, I would have liked to detach my head from my torso. Anyway, why was my face like this? Even as I traced my memory, I couldn’t think of anything in particular.

Surely I didn’t call Jerome and cry, did I? I contemplated the worst-case scenario and clutched my throbbing head.

How did I even get home? I have a faint memory of my wrist being grabbed by Kwon Raewon, who had come running from the airport, and getting scolded by him, but everything after that was pitch black. It was a perfect blackout. I kicked into empty air and let out a silent scream.

Still enduring the headache that felt like my head was splitting, I checked my belongings first. I picked up my padded jacket and took out my phone and wallet from the pockets.

When I opened my wallet, my cards and ID were tucked in neatly. I let out a small sigh of relief and checked the card approval history on my phone. But strangely, there was no record of taxi fare. Ah… what is this now? Did I walk? There’s no way I could have walked in that state. Clutching my good-for-nothing head, I slumped back down on the floor.

The aftereffects were lasting longer than I thought. It wasn’t as if we had officially entered into a D/s relationship, or were dating, or even had been seeing each other for a long time, yet I couldn’t seem to get a grip on my heart. I covered my eyes with my arm and let out a deep sigh. A corner of my heart felt empty and hollow. There had been more than one or two times when I would inadvertently pull out my phone to send a message to Jerome before stopping myself. I suppose I should resign as a Foot Worship operator and settle things now.

I decided to eat first and then think about it step by step. I took a bathrobe out of the bathroom, put it on, and opened my bedroom door. The house was a mess after I had been living like a wreck for a few days. Today, no matter what, I had to clean before I could rest. I got some water from the water purifier, drank it, and lay down in that spot to turn on my phone screen.

I ordered delivery from the bean sprout hangover soup place I had been using like a regular for several days and just kept drinking water. I could only start thinking once the hangover subsided. As I inadvertently turned to lie on my side, a voice suddenly struck my brain.

“Jin, try to pull yourself together.”

I opened my eyes wide and sat up with a start. I clamped both hands over my mouth and held my breath. There was only one person who called me ‘Jin’ as affectionately as that: Jerome. Surely… did we meet? I grabbed my hair and tore at it. But no matter how hard I tried to recall it, I couldn’t remember a single strand of Jerome’s hair.

I picked up my phone and checked my call logs. The last person I talked to last night was Goo Jihoon. I pressed the call button without a second’s hesitation. I bit my nails anxiously and shook my legs. He didn’t answer the call—perhaps he was in the middle of a consultation. I called a couple more times, then gave up and slumped down.