Speak of The Devil Chapter 28

“Lee Nan!”

My steps unconsciously headed back to where they were before. People were gathered in front of the bar where I used to drink with Jaeoh and others. Under the neon sign, Jaeoh’s face looked pale. There was a mix of relief and difficulty on the face that spotted me.

Damn, but all that comes out of my mouth is just curses.

“Where were you!”

“My phone.”

“I got it. What’s up with you? Where were you?”

Jaeoh was both relieved and angry.

But I didn’t want to hear it, so I just wanted to tell him to shut up. I wanted to shout at him to stop worrying because I didn’t need his concern.

The time I was away wasn’t that long. It didn’t take much time for things to unravel. After a brief departure, there were only movements for the sake of appearances, and then there were actions for the situation.

“Lee Nan.”

With no response from me, Jaeoh, who stood in front of me, called my name in a choked voice.

However, even if I stop or beg, I have nothing to say. I just stared blankly at him, and then, I snatched my phone from his hand.

“See you later. I’m tired and need to rest.”

“Hey, Lee Nan!”

Jaeoh raised his voice again. The guys who had been watching approached us in surprise. But I really had nothing to say, and all of this was just annoying.

“Go get some sleep. It’s late.”

“Is being late a problem when you’re acting like this?”

My voice was anything but calm, while Jaeoh raised his tone. Thanks to that, I felt even more exhausted. No, in fact, I was already tired as it is. In reality, I was forcing out words I didn’t want to say. I calmly and indifferently spat them out because I wanted to appear unaffected.

“It’s burdensome, Jaeoh.”

In fact, I couldn’t even manage to put up any pretense. So, I was in a state where I couldn’t control myself, even to the point of speaking coldly to Jaeoh, who was worried about me.

“…”

Jaeoh shut his mouth at my chilly words. The guys behind him glared at me wide-eyed. The looks were anything but amusing, conveying disbelief at how I dared to say such a thing to Jaeoh.

But at this moment, I couldn’t even laugh. Instead, a profound pain took hold of me.

Of course, it wasn’t because of the wounded Jaeoh. What hurt was me, who was wounded. Jung Yiyeon should have treated me like this today. No matter how drunk he was, it shouldn’t have been like this. Damn it, I shouldn’t have grabbed his offered hand, and I shouldn’t have responded to his kiss. Even if I tempted him, I shouldn’t have satisfied my desires with my body.

This was not a test of hope. It was just Jung Yiyeon being a bastard.

“I’m leaving.”

Forcing down the flames rising inside me, I turned my body. I didn’t want to see Jaeoh’s face. But I knew this was the right thing to do. It was better to cut off and leave coldly.

I should have been cut off like that too. However, the sex with Jung Yiyeon that happened earlier torments me too much. It shouldn’t have been like that. Jung Yiyeon, who accepted me, was a bastard, and I, who couldn’t control myself and wanted him, was a stupid idiot.

Hopeless Lee Nan. As I take a taxi home, I repeatedly shake my head to shake off the overwhelming thoughts and emotions that keep flooding in without a break. It felt like I had never been this exhausted in my life.

My chest was stuffy, overwhelmed by regret and pain. But more miserable than that, a feeling of sadness takes hold of me. The reason for that sadness was even more heartbreaking. More than any other reason, the fact that I was going home alone was sad.

I was tired and in pain, but it was sad because there was no one to embrace me with my sweaty body against their own sweaty body. It was sad because there was no Jung Yiyeon, gently caressing my body and kissing me.

Crushed dignity didn’t seem to matter at all. My regret was only one.

If it was going to end up like this, I should have just stayed silent. I should have kept my confession to myself. We were having sex, hugging, and kissing abundantly. Even if it wasn’t a romantic relationship, he felt more like a lover than anyone else.

When I arrived in front of my house and got out of the taxi, I was on the verge of collapse in one place. It felt insane.

I kept repeating to myself that it’s okay, that I can forget, but I eventually succumbed to the longing. In truth, there was not a single moment when I didn’t miss him.

Thinking of calling him under the influence of alcohol? No, perhaps I drank to make the call because I wanted to. I couldn’t cling to him while sober, so maybe I tried to get drunk to do it.

…I must still love Jung Yiyeon enough to want to cling to him like that.

“Ha….”

Why. Why did I happen to run into Jung Yiyeon? Why did we meet in such a place?

Even after getting out of the taxi, I couldn’t go into the apartment and sighed standing there. I pressed my hand against my eyes because my legs weren’t moving well, took a deep breath, and exhaled a long sigh.

Past midnight. It was a street crowded with various types of entertainment establishments. From franchise hops, cocktail bars, and karaoke to room salons, host bars, and more, there were countless businesses on the street. Surely there were hidden places for minorities scattered all over, such as franchise hops, cocktail bars, and karaoke. We went to that street because we were looking for such a place.

Isn’t it obvious why Jung Yiyeon roamed that street?

In search of a man who would warm his bed in my place. The partner was someone who didn’t matter as long as he was somewhat appealing; anyone would do. So, even after casting me aside, he could easily hold my hand again.

Because to Jung Yiyeon, I’m nothing. I’m just a piece for sex, and he’s a damn bastard who doesn’t care about my wounds.

“Lee Nan…!”

I heard a calling voice. I turned my head towards the road, and where the taxi I had ridden was gone, there was another taxi standing. Coming towards me from that taxi was Seo Jaeoh.

“…I said it’s burdensome, you idiot.”

Facing Seo Jaeoh, who looked at me with painful eyes, I muttered coldly. It felt more miserable when I saw his face. I couldn’t help but feel wretched because I knew that I would probably have a similar expression in front of Jung Yiyeon.

Tears welled up with another realization.

Why doesn’t Jung Yiyeon chase after me? How can I be so insignificant to him? How can he not like me when I like him so much? Even after intertwining our bodies so passionately countless times.

“Go away.”

Feeling sad, frustrated, hurt, and angry, I couldn’t bear it. Despite knowing about venting anger, I couldn’t stop pleading with Jaeoh in a bad way.

“It’s not you. I won’t accept you. It will never happen again, so now…!”

“I know, you idiot.”

“Damn it, what do you know? If you know, then just leave. Figure it out on your own! When I tell you to leave, just leave!”

Please go away without becoming as miserable as I am. However, Seo Jaeoh didn’t listen to my words till the end.

“Well then, what about you?”

“….”

“If I just leave like that, what will you do?”

“Why does it matter to you? It’s none of your concern!”

“I don’t want that.”

Strange turn of events. Why did the situation end up like this? You, who was worried about me suddenly disappearing and reappearing, shouted at me, and my response was indifferent.

Now, I couldn’t contain my emotions and was screaming. Despite knowing that it was just an outburst of frustration rather than genuine concern for Jaeoh, I couldn’t control myself.

Facing me in this state, Jaeoh showed an astonishing level of composure. He stood firm, as if determined not to back down. The only things shaking were his pupils as he looked at me.

“When did I ever tell you to like me? When did I ask you to console my heart?”

Ah… frustrating bastard. Incredibly frustrating. I wanted to curse, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

“That day, when you were crying and I came out, that feeling was damn disgusting.”

It was a day when I had drunk heavily after losing to Jung Yiyeon, intending to have sex with Jaeoh but ended up crying my heart out. It was the day I confessed that I had feelings for someone else.

“So, I didn’t want to leave you crying alone.”

Jaeoh spoke with a faint sigh. His breath seemed heavy somewhere. But as heavy as it was, his words were unwavering.

“Don’t cry alone. I don’t wish for anything else from you. Why burden yourself?”

Firm and resolute. Before the unwavering Jaeoh standing in front of me, trying not to collapse, I felt like he was so firm that I could entrust myself to him just before falling.

My face was wet as I wiped it with the back of my hand. There was moisture on my hand.

In reality, I was crying. I had tried not to cry, but I couldn’t even tell when I started sobbing.

Sniffling, I wiped my face again with the back of my hand. Jaeoh followed behind me. But I couldn’t push him away anymore.

It became more complicated because of Seo Jaeoh. My head felt like it was going to explode, and my heart felt like it was tearing apart because of Jung Yiyeon. I couldn’t endure it anymore.

I rubbed my face with the back of my hand. It was moist.

I was actually crying. I had tried so hard not to cry, but I didn’t even know when I started sobbing.

Sniffling, I wiped my face again with the back of my hand and turned my body. Jaeoh followed me, but I couldn’t push him away anymore.

It’s all Seo Jaeoh’s fault. I don’t know anymore. I just wanted to rest. To get through this night, which I couldn’t face alone.